~ Having an odd delimma

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Mrs. Dani
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   Posted 7/17/2010 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
   I am having an odd delimma as of late. Though I know I have more important problems on my hands this is something that I really want to do.....
    As my deformity progresses my hip is now all of an inch or so from my bottom 4 ribbs. Now, it is rotating towards the rear a few inches. My deformity is obvious. Up until now I have been wearing strategic clothing to try to "hide" as much of it as possible, though it is still obvious that the big lump in my lower chest is my hip and the lump in my back is my shoulder blade protruding out unnaturally.
     Recently, despite my best efforts, my walk is the obvious hobble of someone with a deformity. My deformity in hip and shoulder is... sickening and obvious. People do not look me in the eye anymore the last 2 months. If I look at them, the immediatly look at the floor, or away. A bummer, my new smile cost thousands of dollars and I like to smile / show it off. In anycase, you get the idea.... So, recently I had an idea. I know noone wants to look at me directly, but I like to look at me. I think for a defomred lady, I look pretty good. My point is I want some professional photos done. You heard me right, I want full body shots while wearing something very form fitting so I can show off my deformity. I know it sounds crazy, but I want this. I need this, for me. I want full body pictures of me "celebrating" my deformity. LIke the pregnancy photos, only show casing my "curves".
     I brought this up to my husband (he is a very kind and caring man) and all he did was raise his eye brow and say "Hua". So I waited a few days and I brought it up again. That time he said,"Really? WHy?" so I told him, just as I have explain to all of you. I want to "showcase" my deformity. I want pictures celebrating my deformtiy. He said," Thats weird babe.". So what do I do? I have brought it up a dozen times in the last month, and I just cannot seem to get him to understand that I want this done for me. For the "inside me" and it is important.
     What am I doing wrong? Am I going about this in the wrong way? Or should I ask in different manner? WHat do you guys think?

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 7/17/2010 10:42 AM (GMT -6)   
That is a BEAUTIFUL idea, Dani. I think that you're AMAZING. I think that you should definitely take these pictures. Your writing gives me such encouragement. What a wonderful light you are!

As for your husband, I think that maybe you could write down exactly how you feel--like a letter to him--and maybe that will help him understand better. I do that when my husband doesn't get what I'm saying. I completely understand why you want to do this, and I think that it really is beautiful. I can't think of any other way to explain it to him besides verbally and a letter. Others here will probably have a better idea.



p.s. I'm going to email you for those sites about jewelry soon!

Retired Mom
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   Posted 7/17/2010 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Dani,
You are such an inspiration to me!  If this is important to you then you SHOULD have it done ASAP.  Perhaps you should even consider contacting a magazine (medical) or a serious fund raising/support group for people who can benefit from seeing your side.  I know you are doing this for yourself, but it could possibly help others who are suffering and may make some additional cash to boot.  I'm sure there is someone out there who can help you make arrangments and I'm sure you want the best photo shoot available without the expenditure of a large amount of cash....at least I would, anyway.
I think you are very brave and very inspiring.  Perhaps even Discovery Health Channel would be interested in your story.  I know they were where I first saw something about my HGH problem with another lady.  Our problems were still different in the end, but it gave me something to think about and educated me a little.  Of course, I've never seen you, but Pete seems to think you are beautiful just the way you are.  Giving others the chance to see that and having photos done now (especially if things progres more later) could be a real treasure.
My prayers are with you always.
Retired Mom

Screaming Eagle
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Date Joined Sep 2009
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   Posted 7/17/2010 10:51 AM (GMT -6)   
As a Professional Photographer, I very much support this idea Dani!
Make sure your photographer understands what you want, and knows how to light you properly.
He or She should bring out your inner beauty reguardless of what the vessel looks like.
In fact a good photographer may be able to bring out a side of you, that you may not have known was there.
I have photographed many a individual with horrible health problems, and either the parents or the person having them done loved them.
I only wish you were closer, so that I and my wife could have the oppertunity to do them for you.
Keep trying, and maybe do a serch on the internet of this type of photography, so that he can see what you want.
I believe there is a real need for this type of photography, as this is not the first time this has been requested.
As I have said, I have done this several times in my career. It was very much a challenge for me the first time, but
then I got very excited, after seeing the joy from the client.  
Usually it is one of the better pieces of art, if done properly, as there is such feeling and emotion flowing
from the portrait.

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Date Joined Dec 2008
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   Posted 7/17/2010 11:32 AM (GMT -6)   


I totally get your reasoning!  DO IT, the pictures I'm sure will capture your inner beauty as well!  We all come with different packaging but its our HEARTS and SOULS that shine! Like SE says make sure the Photographer understands what you want.  My Grandmother is 100.5 years old and we have a picture of her that is magnificent, her eyes show everything she is....she only sees her wrinkles but we see HER!!



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   Posted 7/17/2010 12:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Dani, all I can say is GO FOR IT!!!!!!!

There is no reason for you not to do it if it is something you want to do.

Do I think it is weird. Not in any way.

Personally I don't think it is celebrating your condition. I think it is celebrating your fight and your spirit.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

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Date Joined Sep 2009
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   Posted 7/17/2010 1:33 PM (GMT -6)   

I think it is an awesome idea! How amazing to be able to embrace the new you. We cannot fight what is happening to our bodies so making peace with it is so much better! Once again Dani you have opened my eyes to a different concept! Go for it girl!! Make sure you post copies. Love you bunches.
Gentle Hugs,
Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraine disorder (with and without aura), GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety
Oxycontin, Flexeril as needed, Lopressor, Lexapro, Omeprazole, Clonazepam as needed, Promethazine as needed for nausea from migraines

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Date Joined Mar 2008
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   Posted 7/17/2010 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   

I also understand your reasoning (in the best way that I can without being in your shoes) & agree with everyone else, you need to do this for yourself. So go for it & don't look back!!


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Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 7/17/2010 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Sweet Dani,

By all means...... embrace who you are, because you are one of the most beautiful people I know!! I do not have to see you with my eyes to know that....I see you with my heart! The most important thing is the photographer! As many have said, make sure he/she understands you and what you want! Also, make sure the photographer is as passionate about taking your photo as you are about being photographed!!

As usual.....you amaze me!!!


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Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2265
   Posted 7/17/2010 8:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Dani
You're such a beautiful person.  I say go for it too.  You're such inspiration for all of us.
love and hugs
Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip,  ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, hypothyroidism, typeII diabetes, asthma, allergies, high blood pressure, polycystic ovary syndrome, PTSD, depression, anxiety

Pete trips again!
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 7/18/2010 4:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Your so pretty! Can I get one of the pic's after you get them done? I was so upset I didn't get any pic's of us together! I've been trying to cut some photos of you and Lisa out of the Flip videos that your "Bumblebees" made but they were moving so fast that the pics came out fuzzy!
I think it's a wonderful idea to get yourself photographed! I think that it will not only help you but also children who have spinal deformities to see how beautiful you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go for it!
Love and Big Hugs!!!
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!

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Date Joined Feb 2010
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   Posted 7/18/2010 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I too think its a great idea Dani Girl , you are at peace with who you are and I think that yet again you are right on track toward handling yourself with pride , your a classy lady . It may take David a little while to get it but I'm sure he will . You are something quite special Dani , I totally support your idea %100 percent , you are still beautiful and you feel it and you radiate it too and I agree show it off !!! I knew you were beautiful without ever laying eyes on you , your heart your soul , your smile all say how at peace you are with yourself and the world , I really think its awesome and I support you all the way ! love ya lots Mikel

Mrs. Dani
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Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 7/18/2010 11:09 AM (GMT -6)   
    Thank you all so much. From the bottom of my heart. I knew you would understand. Thank you.
     I think flower is right. A letter just might do the trick. When I was trying to think of what I would write I had another idea.....  Soon, he will start to ask me what I want for my anniversery gift. I think that would be a good time to bring it up again. Also, if I say "I will write down what I want" and hand him a heart felt letter insead, that might work too. I havnt gotten a game plann fully together yet... I really think I can get him to agree to this, if I could just get creative about asking for it.
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9245
   Posted 7/18/2010 12:51 PM (GMT -6)   
My sweet Dani,

I think you answered your own question...who are you doing this for? It's not something to assuage your husbands soul but it's for you and you more than deserve it. If money is an issue with him then save for it. Also, you might talk to a liaison at the hospital you use...maybe that's not the right word...but the person who helps patients find services during and after a hospital stay. They may have some ideas on a photographer who's good at this and someone who has reasonable rates. There may also be something in your community that does this for patients. Never know until you ask! Good luck and you are totally my Hero-ess...

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

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