Like others I'm sorry to read you post because you're unable to sleep due to pain. Because of what you posted on the venting thread about
your husband growing tired of the wait, I wondered if your pain last night was because of anxiety or disappointment or frustration over the SCS issue.
I'm going to say something that I hope you will take with the best of intentions and caring. I have watched you struggle with this whole SCS mess for I think years now. You went to see a psychologist, and seemed to come back much stronger emotionally when you started posting after those sessions. I don't know if you're still seeing him, but maybe another visit or two might help, just to get you stabilized back in a more positive, empowered place. I think the psychologist Ok'd you for the SCS, if I'm remembering correctly, but then W.C. gives you more obstacles. If it's now starting to affect your marriage, maybe it's time to think about
letting it all go. Now that's the part I don't want you to misunderstand. I'm not saying simply throw in the towel on trying to get the SCS (although that is an option, and having options on the table, even ones we don't like, can help us feel more empowered and less helpless), but to emotionally and psychologically let it go.
I realize this is easier said than done, but I think it's taking so much energy from your life, and now maybe your marriage, that you have to ask is it worth it? If you can detach emotionally from the process, and take on more of a "whatever happens, happens" attitude, and GO ON with your life and possible other pain options with doctors, you may feel a sense of relief. You can just take the steps W.C. puts in the way and try to process them as just motions to go through, without giving W.C. and the possibility of an SCS trial so much power over your emotions. Am I making any sense?
I also remember you were going to consult an attorney. It really seems to me that's the only way you're going to get W.C. to do something. Maybe you're going to have to pay an attorney, if you still haven't received a denial and they won't take the case on a contingency basis. At least a consult with an attorney who knows the W.C. laws from the state you're dealing with would be worth paying for, and if he/she says there's really nothing you can do legally to push them, then maybe you have to let it go. Otherwise, W.C. controls you and your life. If there's something you can do legally, and want to pursue it, then do it. But begin to think about
what it's all worth, and is the price you and your husband are paying becoming too high.
Oh, boy, I feel like maybe I should duck now out of fear of this being misinterpreted. I just hate seeing you stuck in this place for so long, and giving so much of your life to this struggle.
Post Edited (PAlady) : 8/3/2010 3:13:34 PM (GMT-6)