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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 8/7/2010 1:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, I'm a 25-year old student from Germany and have been suffering from chronic pain more or less since I was 16. First, it was a shoulder-arm-syndrome which slowly disappeared when I started doig swordfencing and since the age of 17, I have horrible pain in my knees when sitting or bending them for too long, often enough even when walking

Again and again I would see doctors about it since my kneecaps would often slip out and I thought that might be a reason for the problems. The doctors, however, never believed me. "Exercise more." or "You#re making that up." and one year ago: "There is no disease for your symptoms, I can only refer you to a psychiatrist." In the end, I went to see a specialist on my own who found out that the cartilate in my knees is badly damaged form all the years of kneecaps slipping out. hence the pain. Something should have done ten years ago and now, all they can hope to do is to keep it the way it is now and prevent further damage.

I will start with a rehabilitation programme in a fitness studio on Monday which the health insureance will pay for, but what I really need, the heavy weight training with my legs, according to the specialist, I'd have to pay for myself and I dodn't have the money for it right now. Right now, I'm still kind of hoping I won't need surgery since, after all the negative experience I've had with doctors, I wouldn't trust them to cut up my knees and not mess them up.

Many people still can't understand how horrible it is for me. Sitting for longer is always a problem, sometimes I have trouble getting through a seminar at university. Sometimes the pain gets so bad I walk with an extreme limp, making me feel bad for me bf too since I don't want him to have a girlfriend with a hideous, unattractive limp. If I'm in severe pain for days, I tend to get depressed.

So basically I'm just looking for a place where others know what I'm going through.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/7/2010 1:15 AM (GMT -6)   
 welcome to the forum, but I am so sorry that you have to be a member. A lot of times people that don't go through what we have to go through have no idea what kind of pain it is. I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this at such a young age. I remember 25, i am 35 now. It was still a good age for me. the fact that you have to deal with so much pain now makes me so sad for you.
I suffer from a host of different things and trying to get a dr. to understand what you are going through or to have any compassin for you doesn't happen very much.
I don't have much advice but wanted to welcome you here. I have recieved so much support and good advice here. Please come back, and I know others will be along to help you more than me. Gentle hugs and prayers sent your way. Heather turn
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 8/7/2010 8:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Athas , Welcome my friend , I'm really sorry you've expierenced such pain at so young an age and on top of that you had to deal with insensitive , unbeleiving doctors as well . You've come to the right place everyone here is expierencing real pain and many folks had to deal with doctors who doubted them too . I'm glad you found a doctor who diagnosed your symptoms correctly , just having a name for what you have is a comfort , at least you know its real and you can start to fight for your health .Therapists are a valuable resource when expierencing pain because there are emotional issues that go with such pain and they can help guide you thru that .Are you in the USA now ? You may be able to get medicaid to pay for the treatment you need . Good luck and keep posting here , the people here are wonderful understanding and supportive . Mikel
HIV+. meds - epzicom, Kaletra . oxycontin as needed , indothemiacin . hip replacement surgery scheduled for August 23rd !

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 440
   Posted 8/7/2010 8:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcom Athas!
Sounds like you are experiencing lots of pain! You poor dear... and so young too. I know when my back was bad years ago Dr.'s suggested more Physical therapy and actually due to the inflammation is only got worse. I am concered that the areas such as knee would only get worse with more exercise and weight lifting...
I have a sister who lives in Framershine Germany...
Crohns, Diabetes type 2, Fibro, (Depression and Anxiety..who wouldn't?) Back surgery on herniated L-4 L-5 and S-1. Total of 13 surgerys!

Imran 200 mlg, Asacol, Colestid, Bentyl, Lamotil, Paxil, Amitriptlyne, Nexium, Probiodicts, Vit D, Folic Acid, Lots of Potassium, Fish Oil, up to 6 Immodium a day. Oh, and one Giant Pill holder!

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 8/7/2010 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks to all of you for your kindness! It feels good to be welcome here! And sorry for all the spelling mistakes I made when writing my first entry, it was still quite early morning (for a Saturday).
I still live in Germany, btw, but don't like posting on German online forums since I speak English at home anyway and it's easier for me to talk about personal things in English. I'm German, but my boyfriend is English and I don't have a German identity.
As for therapy, I used to be in therapy for psychiatric problems and have made a recovery I wouldn't have expected myself. The problem with therapy is that, aside from one, all the therapists I've had, have been horrible and I basically know everything I need to know and have the "tools". I wouldn't want to go back into therapy just so I can talk about how difficult it is sometimes and how bad the pain is.
My dad is very sick and has chronic pain, so I can talk to him a lot. And a forum like this helps me a lot more because people here are going through the same thing so I know they understand.
What hurts me most is that doctors even made me question myself, that sometimes I thought that maybe I was making it up because they made me feel so insecure with saying things like that I was making it up or that it was a psychiatric problem and so whenever I am in pain, it has to get really bad to the point of me crying, getting depressedand desperate before I see a doctor. Yet, whenever I have been in physical pain, it turned out to be something real, quite obvious. Neither the shoulder-arm-syndrome I had, nor the problems with my knees are very rare. A doctor who checks the symptoms out thoroughly could easily find out what is wrong. That hurts incredibly.

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/9/2010 8:59 AM (GMT -6)   


   Dear Athas,

     Good morning! My name is Dani and it is very nice to meet you. Please, excuse my late introduction. I don't know how I missed your post! I am terribly sorry to be so tardy.

    Goodness, you have been through so much. I can only imagine how hard it has been to push through the pain without help or end in sight. It must have taken an increadible amount of will power over the years. I do hope that you are able to slow down any further damamge. I too, am trying to slow down damamge to my body. I know how hard it is to have many many years of life to live...and only so much you can do physically so that more damage is prevented as much as possible. When we are young, surgical "fixes" are discouraged because we have literally many decades to live and most surgical fixes are only designed to last 20-30 years. ...that "seems" the average of the most "cutting edge medical technologies / techniques". Its hard to be young and have to take so much into account.

     I too, went to a pain psychologist. I was given all the tools I could possibly need. We praticed and praticed for months on end! Once thereapy is completed, a good after care support groups IS needed. I am so glad you picked us to be a part of that aspect of your life. It is so important to be able to talk, openly, about the daily struggles and joys of day to day life as a chronic pain patient. I dont know about you.. but for me, my therapist is ready when ever I need her, should something more urgent come up. It is nice to know there is help, when I need assistance.

     Oh! Do not worry about spelling! As you can tell I am horrible with spelling. I have often wished that healing well was given as "spell checker". But... other times I am glad there isnt one. I know that sounds strange, but hear me out.. when someone in our CP Family who has fibro, MS (for example) will often "mix up" common words. LIke Witch & Which, or Here & Hear. It lets me know that one of my CP Family is struggling. Also, when someone is typing fast because they are in pain or is emotionally "crying inside" there are many many "Mxied up speelign wirds" and that tells me that one of our dear loved ones is having a VERY hard time. SO, there is a good and a bad to spelling errors. So, don't worry one bit about spelling!

     I can see I am going to chatt away endlessly if I am not careful. SO, I will end this here. Again, it was VERY nice to meet you. I look forward to knowing you better as time goes by.

*warm hugg*

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 8/9/2010 9:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome Athas,

You are at a good place here. This forum is an invaluable source of information regarding pain through peoples own research and experiences with chronic pain. You will find the emotional help and any advice, info, etc. that you may be seeking during your horrible odyssey through pain.

That ~~~Dani~~~ girl may NOT check spelling, but me being a teacher, an English one at that, I DO! hee hee totally kidding!! I misspell myself and don't really care. That's a mute point. We are here to help, not grade a research paper. :-) Fencing is such a neat sport. I'm sorry it left you with pain. Life deals people some dented, warped cards in life sometimes and it doesn't make sense to us at the time.

Good luck to you and check in any time.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 8/9/2010 9:56 AM (GMT -6)   

Sorry for the reasons that you needed to find us, but very happy you did! Also, I am sorry for being late with this welcome! It sounds like you have been through a lot! Please know that we are here when you need understanding friends and family! This is an amazing group! Hang in there and welcome!!

***Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement***Fibromyalgia***TMJ***GERD***Severe Depression***VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uteru****Possible RA***

Medications - MS-Contin, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone
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