When does the insanity end?

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Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/18/2010 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
As if there isn't enough with chronic pain in general, now I have a kidney stone on top of it! Geesh!
And of course, glutton for punishment I am, I pressed on with a Mary Kay party I scheduled with a girlfriend from church on Tuesday, only to hear my Mom through the whole thing say "Maybe you should sit honey." And, "Don't you think you have done enough?" MY personal favorite was "You make sure you take a nap when your little friend leaves!"

What am I, a 3-year-old? I just had that appreciate the thought, but old enough to make my own decisions talk less than 2 weeks ago. My poor friend though just smiled and helped me keep her busy during the party. She also told the entire party about how I have this kidney stone, and I have had them before and my last one made me cry and cry, complete with cystoscopy story. So I was embarrassed in 2 ways, not just one.

I feel better after the rant about my mother. I love her, but have to say it that way, like a spoiled child, to someone other than her. It makes talking to her in the tone of the adult I claim to be easier.
As for the kidney stone, does anyone have any suggestions on keeping your sanity with chronic and acute pain?
Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, and adhesions.

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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3089
   Posted 8/18/2010 10:05 PM (GMT -6)   

Oh boy! I watched one of the vets I work for deal with a kidney stone earlier this year, and I don't think I have ever seen someone in so much pain (except for the couple of times that I've been there myself). He was flat out on the floor & barely made it to the doctor's office. The pain meds his doctor gave him made him violently ill & it took him days to pass it. I felt so bad for him. I can't imagine going through the process myself. You have my complete empathy. Once his stone passed, he brought it into work & then took a picture of it with a hand drawn scale reading 2 in! In reality, it was only about 2-3 mm, but I can only imagine how big it must have felt to him.

As for what your friend did, I can understand you being upset -- I probably would be if I were in your situation -- but I'm sure that your friend only said what she did because she thought that she was being helpful. You might think about gently telling her that what she did actually made you feel worse, but I wouldn't make too big a deal over it. I'm sure the women at your party understand & don't think any less of you.

You are in my thoughts & prayers. I hope your stone passes soon & with minimal pain!


Post Edited (skeye) : 8/18/2010 9:10:45 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 440
   Posted 8/18/2010 10:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Kidney Stones, OUCH! I've had about 5. I'd suggest getting some pain med's to get through. Had a 5mm one last time and it took a week for it to move down. They said try walking..did that ...my sister a nurse said try eating leafy spinach with lots of lemon juice. BAM ..it came out in like 20-30 min. But, I couldn't have done it without my friend Percocet!
Crohns, Diabetes type 2, Fibro, (Depression and Anxiety..who wouldn't?) Back surgery on herniated L-4 L-5 and S-1. Total of 13 surgerys!

Imran 200 mlg, Asacol, Colestid, Bentyl, Lamotil, Paxil, Amitriptlyne, Nexium, Probiodicts, Vit D, Folic Acid, Lots of Potassium, Fish Oil, up to 6 Immodium a day. Oh, and one Giant Pill holder!

Mrs. Dani
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Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/18/2010 11:12 PM (GMT -6)   


   Dear Mindy,

     Good evening! *hugg* I am so glad to hear from you. Though I have to say it... your Mom is funny. I am sure she had no idea she was being embarrassing too. My husbands mother does that to him all the time. I just cant help but giggle!

    It is awesome that you were able to push past the pain and discomfort to get the MK party done. Did you get alot of sales? I sure hope so! Especially after all you had to go though. Of course, as one of your CP friends, I should probably tell you that you really do need to take it easy. That kind of pain coupled with your chronic pain will already be a hard on your body. You need all the strength you can gather in the comming weeks. So take it easy! Besides, you are so busy, you make the rest of us look bad *wink*

    I sure do hope everything slows down long enough for you to be able to get some true rest. KNow you are in our hearts here


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9249
   Posted 8/19/2010 12:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi MM!

I too hope you get some relief soon! I've never delt with kidney stones but also know someone who has. I will say extra prayers for you and for pain relief.

As far as Mothers go, wow do I know what you are talking about!! I learned my lesson in a similar way you did. I had told mother details of a visit with a gastroenterologist many years ago because I was experiencing bleeding. Well, mother was one who believed family needs to talk about family to keep up on everyone's lives. A couple of weeks later when an aunt came with mother to visit the aunt started asking about the details of my "problem"!! This is the one aunt whom no one in the family cares for! So I decided right then and there that what was going on with my body was MY business and I have been very careful with who I told. I never did told mother about the fibromyalgia nor most of the other problems that cause me pain. I knew she would go off the edge if I did and she would also spread it around anyone who would listen. She didn't do it maliciously but still I don't appreciate it! Usually only hubby and maybe 1 other person knows any details of my health.

Please take care and take it easy..OK?

Warm hugs,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 928
   Posted 8/19/2010 2:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Ow, Ow, Ow!! I know how painful kidney stones are - it's awful. I had one when I was pregnant. The pain of the kidney stone triggered some contractions - OMG, I almost lost my mind - 'contract', searing pain, 'contract', searing pain, 'contract', searing pain........oh lord, I couldn't decide if I was afraid I would die, or that I wouldn't die! lol Anyway, after a day and a half of that, everything just stopped! The doctors couldn't figure it out and I never passed the stone. Hmmm, maybe that's where my extra pounds are coming from - I probably have a 20 lb stone hiding somewhere! Oh boy, I think it's time to try and get some sleep now. lol! Sorry I don't have any advice, but I hope you pass it quickly and painlessly.

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/19/2010 7:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for the good wishes and prayers. This is not my first kidney stone, so at least I knew what the searing pain and falling on the floor was all about. The first time is always the worst because you think you may be dying. My poor girlfriend was great, and Skeye it was my Mom telling everyone about my previous kidney stones.

Chutz, You are completely right, I don't usually tell anyone what is going on health-wise, which is why I was so painfully embarrassed. What do you do when you see your family and they know something is wrong simply by looking at you? That is where my mother gets me, she looks at me and then I get the 30 questions game everytime I talk to her or see her. She only lets up when you tell her something, then she goes and tells everyone her own interpretation of what is "really going on." Of course it is never right.

I loved the party though, and I had a pretty good amount. Around $200, which meant that the facial care line I wanted was within our price range, YAY! If I wasn't so tired and doped up from the meds I would do a happy dance!

Dani and Chutz, I am taking it easy now, doing my school work and lying around a lot. Sleeping has become a new olympic sport for me! Still with the puppy and my golden being here without the boys, we are getting many hours of snuggling and bonding time. I am sure I haven't made the pros of chronic pain feel too badly, I have no idea how you do all you do everyday, and stay so positive. Everyone here is an inspiration and truly a good example through bad times as well as good ones.

I am so glad I found this forum. I don't know where my family and I would be without you all. Thank you.
Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, and adhesions.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 8/19/2010 2:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear MM,
I am so sorry to hear that this has added to your suffering. I have never had one myself, but I remember my dad getting out of the car and almost passing out, after work one day and then crawling across the lawn to the house. He is a pretty tough guy too! Missed like 5 days of work in 35 years and 2 of those were because of that kidney stone.

I will be sending healing hugs your way and praying you get through this as quickly and with the least pain possible! Hang in there!

Take care of you!
Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus and Possible RA

Medications - MS-Contin, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16779
   Posted 8/19/2010 3:54 PM (GMT -6)   
MM when around your mother and she thinks you are not well, just tell her you are fine and try to keep a little distance between the two of you so that she isn't close enough to play 30 questions. From what you have described here this has gone on forever with your mother. May be time to sit her down and have a frank discussion about what is your business and yours only. You may want to tell her that in the future if she cannot leave your health issues alone, then you will no longer share with her your health problems. That statement may be her wake up call. Only you can fix this.

I liked Pebbles recipe for the stones and you can bet the next time I get one of those awful things I will try it. Good luck and I do hope this passes soon. Susie

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/19/2010 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry you have yet another thing to cause you pain. Forgive me if my pain is not allowing oxygeon to my brain..but didn't your mom imbarrass you at church last time with the tye dye..I may be wrong. Well your mom sounds like a character. I guess we just accept them for who they are..next time simply inform your friends that your mother hasn't been feeling well and you think she may have some alteizmers(sp?) because you were alomst sure you had told her that information was something you didn't want to share. Then simply smile at your mom. It might give her the message without hurting her feelings. Gotta love them though, you never know what could happen. Good luck passing those stones..you rock..sorry pain again that's my excuse. Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 8/19/2010 7:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Sending good thoughts your way MM - hope you've either passed the stone or it will quickly be gone.

DX: Fibro, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain, IBS, IC-PBS, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (both wrists), FAI, Reynauds, Opthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes, Physically Unable to Vomit due to Nissen Fundoplication Surgery, Extremely tiny and scarred veins (hard start for IV's)

Meds: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Cesamet, Flexeril, Clonidine plus Vit. D and Multi-vitamin

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/19/2010 8:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes my mother embarrassed me at church with the tie dye thing. Your suggestion is a good one. Maybe she would finally get the hint. Its either that or bash her over the head with a big sign reading " I wear big girl panties now. When I say its no one's business, that is what it means!" skull I think maybe my pain is making me a little goofy tonight too. turn
Pam, The stone is very low, so I don't think it will be too much longer. I just hope to get some kind of sleep tonight.
Thank you for the well wishes and advice!
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw

Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!
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