Tuesday Koffee Klatch time ~ serious topic today

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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9255
   Posted 8/31/2010 12:08 AM (GMT -6)   
For those who've been to the Koffee Klatch for long time, we always had a rule about not using the 'P' (Pain) word. But as we've evolved we have found that often we need to talk about it. So as promised, the 'P' word is not only allowed but will be the focus of our chat here some times.

Today is one of those days. This is not meant to be morbid or bring anyone down...but if it does please let me know by either posting in this thread or emailing me. And the question is...when your pain is about to push you over the edge, who do you turn to or what do you do to begin to regain control. Some people need another person to connect with to help regain control of that 'unbelievable' pain. Others have to be alone to concentrate or medicate on the pain to calm the body. And some folks may need to leave the house and do something to get your mind thinking of the rest of the world's existence. When your pain is more than you think you can ever handle, what do you do and/or who do you turn to?

I'm most often a loner when I'm feeling my worst. I will curl up in my recliner, maybe turn the TV on very soft to some interesting lecture and I will do all I can to focus on something beside what I'm feeling. Once in a while if I'm injured, like when I took a bad fall a while back, I immediately call hubby to help. Often there isn't much he can do but having him sit quietly with me is very soothing.

What about you??? What is your method?
Chutz wink
Moderator on the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain forums

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” Albert Einstein

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Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 8/31/2010 2:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chutz (and everyone else arriving!),

This is an easy one for me. When I need to get away from it all because the pain is just too much, I go into my bedroom, relax in my recliner with a heat pack around my neck and a super soft blanket spritzed with a bit of bergemot or lavender covering me. Once I'm settled and comfortable, I turn on my iPod to a playlist of relaxation and meditation music, including nature sounds like the ocean waves crashing on to the shore.

Once all these things are done, I start focusing back to a vacation my hubby and I took a few years ago to Vancouver Island. We drove to a wonderful little place called Tofino (gorgeous twisty scenic route to get there) and stayed at a marvelous B & B. We were right on an inlet and so the sound of the waves was always there, to help us drift into sleep.

This vacation was so fantastic, I find it easy to recreate those memories when I'm in pain. It's my "safe" place if you will, where pain is not allowed - you have to leave it at the door.

Hope everyone is able to find a "safe place"

DX: Fibro, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Surgical Adhesions, IBS, IC-PBS, Carpal Tunnel (both wrists), FAI, Reynauds, Opthalmic Migraines, Drug Related Hot Flashes, Physically Unable to Vomit due to Nissen Surgery, Extremely tiny and scarred veins (hard start for IV's)

Meds: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Cesamet, Flexeril, Clonidine plus Vitamin D + Multi daily

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Date Joined Apr 2009
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   Posted 8/31/2010 4:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Great topic, Chutz. Well, when my pain is REALLY bad, I lay in bed on heat and have trouble breathing. I can't focus on anything and I'm usually moaning! It's terrible. That is what one of my bad flares is like.

When my pain is just higher, I do like to get out of the house. I get sad if I'm inside for too long, so I'll ask my husband to take me to the store. I did that yesterday, but when I got to the Walmart, it was too crowded and the pain was too high for me to walk around and sitting in a car hurt. I didn't know what I wanted. We then went to Barnes and Noble, because I thought that maybe a strong coffee would help. We were there for five minutes because, again, I couldn't walk that much.

So sometimes I need to get out even if I'm having tons of pain, other times I can't move. But I do try to keep going and get out when I can.




Retired Mom
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Date Joined Feb 2010
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   Posted 8/31/2010 4:56 AM (GMT -6)   
I love this thread!
My escape depends on which type of pain is flaring at the time.  For fibro, I take Ultracet, take a hot shower and then either ge back into pj's and watch old movies or get all hair/makeup done slowly and go some old thrift store to junk around. 
For back, I take my meds, sit in a recliner with the heating pad on high and just relax in quiet.  Sometimes the old movies help too.  Nothing with too much action.
When my hands are worse, I haven't found anything that helps except not using them and that's a bummer.  Any suggestions????
Lastly, when I'm really down or anxious (or simply need a boost), I come to HW to read the threads of CP.  Sometimes I type.  Sometimes I don't.   It makes me feel better to read what is going on in your lives and helps me give my meds time to kick in and my body time to relax just a bit.
Enjoy your day today everyone!
Retired Mom

Screaming Eagle
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Date Joined Sep 2009
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   Posted 8/31/2010 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   


    Whew!...Lady Ga GA....you're in the Zone! Too many pills last night? smilewinkgrin


     Really,...please read the Forum Rules. .....I'm sure a Moderator will help you find your way out the Door!



Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/31/2010 7:12 AM (GMT -6)   
I love this topic today!
Like others it depends on the pain that I am experiencing. I always call on my fiance anytime it is unbearable, because he has the driest wit and can have me in giggles. That always helps.
For the bad pain that makes walking a struggle, I grab a heating pad or hot water bottle, curl up with my dogs on the couch or recliner and either read, or crochet. Sometimes I can focus on the TV, but mostly creating something, either a scarf, afghan or sweater, or even the scene from my book in my mind is distraction enough to make things better. Foor those who have rheumatoid arthritis this isnt always possible, so I use my hands for as long as possible. I have a mild case.
For the paind that is debilitating. I lay in bed with hot water bottle and heating pad and soothing ocean or water sounds like rain and streams. Usually I light a candle of lavender or clean scents and meditate. I will think of my pain, imagine a soap bubble engulfing it and use a deep breath to blow it up to God. Or, if I am feeling particularly angry or frustrated, I enjoy popping them in my mind. It is like giving the pain to God, or using my mind to eliminate the way it makes me feel helpless and out of control of my body.  Cheesy I know.
Still a good thread. Some wonderful ideas to try too!
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw

Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!

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Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 8/31/2010 7:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Very good thread....and a very tough topic!

My husband is always there for me... but the helpless look in his eyes just kills me! My sister and I help each other through a lot, but right now she has so much going on, I hate to burden her more with my stuff! So, I do have supportive people around me, but I worry about them too.....so they get stuck hearing my normal complaining, but when it gets really bad....I suffer alone. I go to bed with my heating pad and try to go to sleep! Sleep has always been my escape...but it does not work very well to escape pain! I have spent a lot of time crying in my bed and praying to go to sleep!

I guess I do not have very good coping skills for my pain....I will have to try some of the ideas in this thread!

Take care all!
Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus and Possible RA

Medications - MS-Contin, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone

Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/31/2010 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I forgot to say ice cream. Mass quanitities of ice cream! Chocolate is best, but I will eat pretty much anything if it is ice cream.

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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 8/31/2010 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes I'll just go back to the bedroom and cuddle with a kitty cat (I have 3)...
sometimes there is nothing that works at all............
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...


White Beard
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 8/31/2010 6:00 PM (GMT -6)   
When my pain is really really bad, I take the meds for break through, but I find it very difficult to sit or lie still, usually I pace the floor, back and forth  or I get into my rocking chair and I rock vigorously until I am tired of rocking and then I will get an pace the floor some more, until the pain meds start taking affect and I start getting some relief. I am use to being alone even when I was married, when I was hurting real bad, all I would hear was criticism telling me that I should have not been doing this or that, I always thought it funny that she would never say anything to me when I was doing those things! She would never suggest that I stop what I was doing when I was working in the  yard or on the house! But she always found time to criticize when I was up up in the night hurting real bad from the work I had done earlier! Anyway it is not that I wanted or liked being alone when my pain was real bad,  I don't!  But it is just the way things were, and now are!  That is why I found this forum such a life saver for me, there was people here that understood what it was like to have really bad pain! Some times it took PALady or Chart or others to start a thread to  draw it out of me, there are a few  of us who require a little coaxing to get us to open up and share our pain ( thank God there are people on this forum that care enough about others to do this!)  I know for me it means so much! I just can not express how thankful I am! That is why I have always said the folks here at this this forum are my family to me! For the most part when I hurt really bad, when I am here I know I am not alone! That is comforting to me. Much better than having no one at all!
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 8/31/2010 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
If I flare badly every joint hurts so I go to bed, take masses of prednisone and up the pain killers. I try realaxation techniques but if I'm on fire I just feel so ill, so wrong inside, so extremily tired. I just have to be alone and find that inner strength to get through it. golitho
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