My sister posted on here when i was too sick about
what was happening but i will give a brief explanation of what happened and how im going now:)
basically, my abdominal pain which they still aren't sure of the cause got incredibly bad and i was fainting and vomiting, i then became unable to swallow anything and when i did it just got stuck and came back up eventually, it was the most horrible feeling.. i came dehydrated after a few days and with all the pain and dehydration my body went into shock and i just felt terrible, i wasn't very with it for days but eventually i got slightly better, still in lots of pain and not functioning completely normally and just not very with it.
its been a month since it all started but still not feeling a lot better so i decided that this may never heal again so i have to live with it and if i learn to live with it then it does get better, thats even better but for now i want to deal with it, i have a list of heaps of coping strategies my mum and i put together and we are trying everything to make it easier, her support and the support of my friends is incredible.
although the last thing i wanted to do was go out and go to school today, i made myself get up and go just for 2 hours to see how i went and try and make myself feeel normal.. it was one of the toughest things i have done in a long time just to be there and put on that "im fine" face.. but i saw all my friends and they are so lovely and supportive, a huge line of about
40 girls waiting to hug me, my best friend was there and she just ran up screaming and then we hugged for about
5 minutes and she started crying, i dont know if you all find it but it makes you feel so much better and makes things seem easier for a bit when you know how much people care? i sat through 2 classes not concentrating or taking anything in at all, but atleast i got there.. i got many comments saying i looked like a completely different person, tired, dazed, pale, sick and just not with it, but hopefully with time things will improve and my strength will build up.
in term of answers to my health.. there haven't been a lot yet but the doctors are starting to think that they know what it might be, they have only seen the condition in very very few other people and said its not please and will continue to spread around the body if it is that, but they can't be sure of anything until they do the test which i will have in a few weeks. i am praying its not this but i guess any answer will be okay and i will just have to accept it and deal with it.
i haven't told anyone else this yet and i don't know if i want to, i just get scared about
the way people will see me, so i thought who better to tell than all of you..
the day at my doctor i was checking me out and he touched my arm and it really hurt, felt like he had grabbed me really hard, but he had hardly touched me at all, he had a look and found a lump in my arm.. he did an xray and it is a small tumor, i am having a biopsy in 3 days to see if its malignant, if the tumor is cancerous, if it is. he said it is likely that all this pain in my stomach has been caused by it all along and they just haven't picked up anything because of the lack of tests that have been done, because they have told me its all in my head... sure i wanted them to find something so i could prove its not in my head.. but i guess i didn't want this. the doctor said we will just have to wait and hold onto hope until we find out. i am so fond of this doctor, im newish to seeing him but i think hes the right one and is doing alot of tests to find out what this is. i just wish i had found hiim earlier but i guess at least i found him!! he is so amazing and just understands everything and is constantly telling me how many adults couldn't go through this yet i hold up with a smile, and he always checks to see how im holding up emotionally and if theres anything he can do to help our family. this is really encouraging and just good to have. im so happy with him.
anyways, thankyou all who bothered to read my babble!!
hope you are all doing alright and finding reason to smile.
Post Edited (buttercup:)) : 8/31/2010 10:30:25 AM (GMT-6)