Lost and wondering

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 9/5/2010 1:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone... I feel like I'm lost and wondering.. It's been a while since I've posted last and I'm not even sure where to begin....I've lost 72 pounds due to the diabetes.. which is ok..my back is still acting like a fool 24-7 and the doctor put me on vicapro (sp) which is the biggest joke there is... he's telling me that viciden (sp) and the vicapro are the same chemical... i really hate to tell him his full of ****-i.... I'm having to take 2 to 3 times what I would on the other.... I just feel like all i do is go to work and come home and get on the heating pad again.... You know you've been on a heating pad tooo long when you have it marked on your back like a funky tatoo....I've been told surgery is in my future, but I'm trying to hold out as long as possible, but I think it might be closer than I think.  My boss is not going to be a happy man when I tell him, he's a really cool boss and understands when I hav to go to the doctor for either me or my husband who's health isnt the best either.. but i know he's gonna be upset when I have the surgery because he depends on me soooo much, I'm more that just his secretary.. I'm like his right and left arm.  He gets frantic when I'm not there, and I have a feeling that when we do the surgery I'll be out for weeks...
I was hoping that me loosing the weight would help, but nope, its not better now that it was when I was heavier.  I guess in some ways I'm depressed due to everthing I have to deal with... my hubby's family is no help and there are times I could really  need help with him... he doesnt do to good  in hospitals, he panics and threatens to leave before the procudere is done... so I end up loosing my cool with him...I just keep going and hope that I'm strong enough to handle it.  There are times I just wanna give up and go hide in a corner somwhere that no one can find me and stay there. I have good support from my side of the family and they try and help as much as they can but they have their limits to what they can do.  I talk to hubby but sometimes it's like talking to a teenager and doesnt do any good.
I'd love to go out and do more.... go to the Coke thing in Atlanta or the zoo.. but I know my body wont let me.. between my legs, back and migraines I feel like I'm trapped... I dont hardly get out of the county I live in cause I'm too scared that I'll get too far away from home and have an episode and will jut have to turn around and come back home and disappoint who ever we might be with.  It really SUCKS
I'm just frustrated this morning, sorry for that rant.  Seems like the only time I get to come on here is just to rant ... I'm gonna sign off and take a nap before I have to cook for hubby and his friend... Thank ya'll for listening to me vent..

Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/5/2010 6:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Trouble,

Don't feel bad about ranting.....that's one of our main purposes here....to listen and understand! I understand not wanting to dissapoint the people who love you and want to go on a trip. The last time I did, I cried so much because of pain that they felt bad for even asking me to go. Then I felt like a jerk for making everybody else have a bad time.

Congratulations on the weight loss. That is quite an accomplishment! Even though it may seem like it didn't do any good regarding your back, it should help with the recovery if you have to have surgery. My weight is a problem for me and something I stress about the time. I guess it doesn't get me really motivated though because I haven't done anything serious about it.

Keep your chin up Trouble....we're rooting for you here!
Retired Mom

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 9/5/2010 7:37 PM (GMT -6)   
For what it is worth, the narcotic ingredient in Vicodin and Vicoprofen are the same. Hydrocodone. The difference, as far as active ingredients, is that Vicodin has acetaminophen and the other has ibuprofen. It is entirely possible this is why it is not working as well for you, though any number of other reasons are possible as well.

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 9/7/2010 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   


Dear Trouble,

     It is good to hear from you. Thank you so much for stopping by to give us an update. I must admit I had often wonder what is going on with out veteran members. I am glad you had some time to stop by.

     I am terribly sad to hear about your pain levels. It sounds as if you are in a vicious cycle. Between the pain, exhaustion and emotional turmoil.. I can well imagine you are fed up with it all. Who wouldn't be?!

     The vico(s) are almost alike. I wonder if increasing the dose or perhaps adding in a light muscle relaxer might help? Is you doctor resistant to med increases in general or just steering clear of acetaminophen? I hope he can do something to help alleviate your pain. With fall coming the pain and cold temperatures will surly be a recipe for disaster.

     I must admit when I read about your husbands reaction to your daily struggle I was very disappointed in him. Has been acting out about emotional stress in this way the whole time? Or is it something that keeps building? Either way, something needs to be done. The LAST thing you need is THAT in your life. You are far too tired, too old and too exhausted for such charades He has got to get into therapy, if nothing else, then go in with him if you can initially, perhaps a marriage counselor. What ever it takes to get the reactions assessed so he can get referral and treatment plan in place. You cannot keep having that kind of behavior in your life. You have so many more important problems on your plate. Adult tantrums take time and energy you just do not have to give right now. 

     I am sorry that surgery is becoming harder and harder to put off. Is there anything you can begin to do now to work towards that eventuality? Save a little, train a temp worker? Learn about the preparation and recovery process so you can plan? Preferable get your husband involved in the preparation so that he can fully absorb what is coming.

      I have to get going, but I wanted you to know that you are in our prayers here. Stay strong and hang in there!


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 9/8/2010 9:04 AM (GMT -6)   

Thanks everyone for the support... hubby does good, please dont get me wrong, but his body is no picnic either LOL... he was in a wreck in 89 and it really did some damage on him.  We get along really good and hes a good sound board.  But there are times I just think he gets tired of hearing "I'm hurting... " and understand that cause he fells the same way about his body.  I just get fluster that it took 2 years for the first doctor to send me to an MRI.  Have surgery for the rupture then that doctor was like BAM your fixed no pain.. oh you still have pain.. well I dont understand.. how.... well... sorry. I'm seeing 2 different doctors now... one general (who I get my meds from) then the specialist for my back.. I can not think what they call him LOL... neuro maybe.  Anyway the general is whom I'm gettin my meds from, I like to get meds from one person... I guess I prolly need to get over that...LOL...and I think if I ask him he'll put me back on something stronger. 

Ohhhh a postive note.... my brother has a new baby... 71/2 pounds 91/2 inches long and is a cutie... he was born Friday 3rd only 6 days before he was suppose to pop out LOL... Mom and Dad are good they are home now.  I've got to go and see them this weekend and get more picutres LOL...  Hubby and I dont have kids...we have a 14 1/2 year old Pom who thinks he's the king of the castle. LOL... 5 pounds of fluff LOL but he sure looks a loth like is Daddy LOL...

Well I'm gonna get back to work.. thanks again for everything... I hope everyone has a less painfull day... Soft hugs to everyone


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