Gosh I am so sorry *warm hugg* You know, I just don't know why, but weddings turn normally good people in to... just at a loss of words. Here is some of the craziness I experienced....
...So about a week before I was due to leave New Mexico for Florida, the "Pastor" called and let me know he wasn't going to preform the marriage. He was a friend of my mother in laws. Because my husband doesn't believe "the rapture" in the same "context" that he did.. obviously our marriage was doomed to failure and we would not last as a couple because God wouldn't recognize us as married. Not that it mattered, we found someone else. As we had already completed our pre martial counseling with our Pastor here in New Mexico. Was a month long pre marital course. Had already received our license from the State of Florida. You want to know the funny part? He still showed up at our wedding as a guest. No kidding. By the way his view on what the Lord wants and what he wants of the people around him, are nearly identical... *shiver* those kinds of people scare me so badly. Honestly, David and I were relieved to "free" of our "family obligation" to use him. *shiver* His revisions to the vows were.. just insane. So glad we got someone else.
Then my mother in laws, cousin in law (confused yet?), decided that if her X husband was going to be there, then she didn't want to be there either. And because she didn't want to come we had to find a new notary for the day of the ceremony. I know, I know....
When I finally get down to Florida (I had to drive a huge SUV with wedding stuffs I couldn't take care of online), I find out my father in law doesn't want to come if his girlfriend couldn't come. My mother in law wanted nothing to do with his girl friend since that relationship began while they were still married....
When the rest of the family finds out that father in law and his (so to be wife) were coming, the southern ladies went into to gossip over drive and honestly tried to manipulate me in to not allowing her to come. Before I can even respond! Apparently my mother in law told the others that I would do what she wanted and that was that? Then the rest of the family responded and reacted thinking that she had already talked to me? Sheesh.
Oh and by the way the flowers were delivered (after I told everyone that my father in law and his girlfriend were coming so please stop the manipulations) and my mother in law put them all out on her patio because the smell bothered her nose. Flower crowns, bouquet, corsages, centerpieces. All of it. Didn't tell me until after they had been out side and nearly destroyed 4 days later. We had to use synthetic (silk) flowers. Only the crowns and main bouquet and braidsmaids bouquets survived.
I had to rent out an entire bed and breakfast, all the rooms. For accommodations for the out of town guests. Fully paid for weekend of relaxation. The guests decided to act out appaling and disgusting behaviours for their fully paid weekend get away.....
The night before the wedding the bridesmaid (Who had been quite a snit and rude for 3 whole months prior) shows up at the bachelor party (WHAT the HECK?), with her boy friend, and promptly starts to drink like a fish and rub herself all over the best man, flirting with my soon to be husband, while her boyfriend is sitting dumb founded and the rest of the guests shocked. Her boyfriend is stuck miles away from Arizona with her for an entire weekend. The rest of the bachelor party was unable to get rid of her the entire night. Needless to say they left the day after the wedding. Apparently, the new boyfriend didn't take too kindly to the strip tease portion of her "surprise appearance". He arranged to leave on an earlier flight.
The day of the wedding one of the guest was caught using methamphetamines and going through withdrawals 20 mins before the wedding was to begin. Literally freaking out. With blue and black smeared all over her face. Apparently her weekend getaway (and the reason why she was MIA) consisted of as many drugs she could get into her system and playing cat and mouse with the rest of the wedding party.
...All I wanted was a nice, quiet country wedding. Only a dozen folks were supposed to be there. Instead my wedding was filled people I didn't know and never saw again. about 3,500 cash from a "money tree" and more gifts then I could fit in the SUV. All those folks who caused so much drama? Still at the wedding. They came anyway, and to my surprise reigned in the drama for a long and beautiful day. In the end? They all felt really bad and very embarrassed for their behavior after the fact. Including the so called "family pasture" who's interpretation of the testament is askew and he himself a rather long history of VERY questionable actions / life style. Go figure.
I just don't understand why weddings are filled with so much anxiety. Everyone wants to be the most important person in the Brides life. All of them want acknowledgement. All want special treatment. My suggestion is to take your closest friend to dinner and cocktails. Give her a special gift to wear to the wedding. Something that she will love so she knows how very important she is to you. Let her know she is VERY important to you. You need her with you now more than ever.
Most of all, try to be patient. As the big day draws near, more and more problems will arise. My suggestion is to wait a full 24hrs before responding to any drama. Many times, in hind sight, the ones causing the problems know they were wrong and hopefully will change their views over time.
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood Chronic Pain ModeratorMail