Frances, you sound a lot like me!....maybe a little Anal, when your health was good. I did it all! Cook, clean, work my rear off, to the point I got the chills at the end of the day.
List making was a must, and still is, as I'm in the Percocet fog most of the time.....not loopy, but cant retain the mental list, I had promised myself to do each day.
Is there possibly a community group in your area that does volunteer work? Our church has several members, who will help, when a person is in need of assistance.
Do you have a close friend, who lives near by? Family?
I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Do you take pain meds? When I take mine, and get that 3 to 4 hour open window of feeling relief, I get busy on the most needed project, and many times, take on the hardest one first.
I'm sure others will be along to suggest their helpful tips.