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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/4/2010 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
     First I want to thank all the members that have shown whole hearted compassion, and for just being there for me. The first thing that stood out to me on this website; was that alot of the people that are regular members, refer to eachother as "family". So the first thing I would like to say is that, yes, I will be spending quite of bit of time on here. Not only getting support; but hopefully being able to help others in any way possible. And at the same time I hope that I myself, will get close to some of you, and become part of this wonderful, careing, & open family.
     To answer some of the questions that have been asked. Yes. The better part of my problem with my back, is unfixable nerve damage that has already been done. As an almost unbelievable matter of fact. When I had switched dr.'s, because I had moved. The first thing he did, which I was suprised & grateful for, was contact any specialist I had seen; just to see what was being done and what, if anything, could be done for that specific problem. When he had called my wife and I back in to talk, even he was suprised, at what the neurologist and neurosurgeon had told him about my back. and I quote my doc. to my wife- " they told me to keep him doped & happy"! Like that one dont you.
     Yes, also, to the question of if I have seen a urologist. other than the Doc. at the pain clinic, and my Doc., he has been the most helpful & open about whats actually going on with me. He walked into the room to, what I thought was to discuss options, he had my MRI films in his hand. Then he had asked me a couple of quick questions, then asked me to join him in his office. he then put my films up and pointed out a couple of things. Then he read me some notes from the neurosurgeon & neurologist. I told him that, yes, they did say that they figured that nothing could be done, and that was it! Then he proceded to tell me that since it was causing other health problems; that him and I could fill out some paperwork, and they would have to do sergery. BUT!!! He asked me if I liked being upright, on my feet, for the time being. Because he felt, from everything he had in front of him, that I would most likely be in a wheel chair, if  I had the surgery. I didnt have to think very long or hard on that one. The doc. at the pain clinic pretty much said the same thing. I was in getting a round of shots, AGAIN, and the Doc. that gave me the first one said" there is another Doc. I would like you to meet, if thats ok with you." So he comes in, explains the're gonna try something else, something risky, if its ok with me. So, of course, I decide to do it! While we are in the middle of the procedure, he says " you have had several shots, havent you" ? " I am going to do this, but I'll tell you right now. I have looked & looked at your films. I'm looking at them right now, and I can tell you, none of this is going to do you any good". so after it turned out he was right; he wrote something up, and they havent bothered since.
     And to answer the question about my liver. It is my fault. I drank ALOT, for alot of years. But unfortunately, also, I found something else out when i switched Docs. See the Dr. I have now is very stern; but at the same time he is knowledgable, thorough, and extremely caring.(in the past 5 yrs. he has called my wife, over a dozen times, on the weekend alone, to check on me for one reason or another! that doesnt even count the evenings hes called from his home) But anyway, the previous Dr. was giving me meds. that, as he put it, " any Dr. should have known not to give this to someone that has or had such a recent drinking problem". And on top of that, I was taking vicodin, which contains acetaminophen. Acetaminophen is not good for the liver, and they were giving it to me in extremely high doses. The funny thing is, that they had me doing (fasting) blood work every 30 days, mostly just to keep an eye on my liver #'s. Turns out that they were the reason it wasnt getting better very fast! My Dr. has it to where he is " somewhat comfortable", but as a matter of fact. I go for blood work and a check up this Thurs.. It is the first time in over 7 yrs. that I can say its been 4 months since I've had my blood drawn. So wish me luck!
     I know this is extremely long, but as you'll find out, I can babble. I just wanted to thank you folks also for compassion, and for some, understanding about whats going on with my marrige. Especially White Beard. My wife also, in no way, shape, or form will she go to counseling. Unfortunately for us, it is a little too late for that, I think. It has been very, very rough the past several weeks. worse the past few days. Thats what has pushed me to the edge, and I knew I had to do something. I consider myself very fortunate to have found this place, this family of people. Who all either now or at some piont in time, before finding this place, felt so, so alone. I am SO glad that I finally got the guts to post on here Saturday "at wits end-". Because not only did I get things off my chest. I got not just support, but support from people who understand exactly what i'm going through. and I also wouldnt have had ANY place to go, after my rough morning, today.
     So I beg you! If you are a guest, just reading, DONT! Please, for no one but yourself, POST! Do it just once. If you dont feel better after, what did it take, a little time?
                                                      Thank You All Again!, Brad

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 10/4/2010 11:38 AM (GMT -6)   
   Welcome Brad , yeah the website is great but the Chronic Pain Forum is in my opinion by far the best , in no other Forum do you find the amount of regular members who post regularly , who care and saupport each other like this one , I truly met folks here I can say I love dearly , it really is like family , so please do join us !!! Your Friend Mikel
HIV+. meds - epzicom, Kaletra . oxycontin as needed , indothemiacin . hip replacement surgery done !!! Staples out , saw the surgeon he says I'm healing really well , I go back in 2 months . Until then its physical therapy galore !!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9661
   Posted 10/4/2010 12:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I read your post and sit here, wow you've been thru it, for sure...
It would be an Honor to have you answering posts here and I only wish I
could offer you up some advise...for now Healing Hugz...
no one here judges anyone, that's why I think it feels like a family,
I sure hope you can get a low pain day
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 15862
   Posted 10/4/2010 4:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Brad, I am so glad to see you came back after the initial post. Like I said the first one always seems to be the hardest. Do not apologize for the length of your posts. You have a lot of stuff to get off your chest and have obviously kept most of it bottled up inside. We are real bad about doing things like that, lol. I had never joined any kind of forum or online group until I came here. I have a pain pump implanted and some time after that I joined a group that has pumps & SCS units. They are nice group of people but are just too extreme on so many things I was not comfortable there at all.I felt like there was too much secretive type stuff going on almost to the point of paranoia, not my taste at all. Healing Well offers so many different forums that I can post on numerous boards if I feel the need.

It sounds very much like you have a wonderful dr taking care of you. That is a difficult thing to find but they are worth their weight in gold to me if they are good. I have been with my current dr almost 2 yrs now, wow, time flys. She is the best there is when it comes to these pain pumps and I am so thankful she is my dr.

I am very sorry to hear that counseling is out of question and your wife refuses to go. That is really too bad. I always feel that somehow good or bad there is a reason for everything. Divorce is something that some of us on here have been through so you are not alone there either.

Has any of your drs ever mentioned the possibility of putting a pain pump in? I am asking since you have the situation with your liver going on. People with pain pumps usually end up on less medication than what they were taking orally and of course the liver is not involved with the pump. Just a thought. Let us know how your appt goes on Thursday.

We do ask that all new members read the forum rules and become familiar with them. And no, you are expected to know them over night either, lol. There is also a topic called CP101 that you may want to browse. There is a wealth of useful information in there too. Take care and keep us posted on how you are coming along.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Post Edited (straydog) : 10/4/2010 5:22:32 PM (GMT-6)

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3686
   Posted 10/4/2010 5:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I am really glad to see that we did not scare you off and you came back!  I will say, it sure sounds like  you have really been throuh the mill! As so many of the folks  here that post! I personally find it humbling, because when I start feeling bad, I can come here and usually there is someone that,  has it,  at least a little bit worse than me, and usually allot worse than me!  You know in  some wierd way, it gives me strength, in knowing that if they can manage, and deal with their situation and pain and some how, some way, they are handling it!  I realize then, that I don't have it so bad after all!  and if they can manage to get by with theirs , even if they need help, (and who knows maybe I can be the one who actually helps them in some small way!) Well if they can make it, then surely with all their help, and concern, and if nothing else their, "well wishes" (and just knowing that they care about me!) Then I can make it too!!!!! I hope that makes since!  I feel there is strength in this forum!  A form of Healing if you will!   Healing that comes from this family here at this forum.
Brad I still urge you to seek counseling even if it is to late for your marriage,  I continued to go to counseling for a long time after my divorce was finalized! It helps, it really does! As much help as you get from this forum, it does not replace  the in person one on one sessions you can have with a counselor. Anyway it is food for thought! I do wish you well and if you guys can't work it out and save your marriage, then you will most likely,  have a very  rough and difficult road a head, and you will need all the help and support you can get, and we are all here for you for that too!
Good Luck to YOU!
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 663
   Posted 10/5/2010 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Brad, I am so happy you chose to stick around. This is a great place to be and the love and support is amazing! So, welcome to the family and I hope to see you around alot. Take care!
Gentle Hugs,

Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraines, Possible Graves Disease, GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety

Oxycontin, Lopressor, Lexapro, Omeprazole, Promethazine as needed for nausea, Ventolin inhaler and Vitamin D3

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 10/5/2010 7:51 AM (GMT -6)   


Dear Brad,

     Good morning. I am sorry for not introducing myself sooner! My name is Dani, and it is very nice to meet you. I hope you are settling in well with the Family. As you can see we are full of very kind, caring compassionate members... some of us are a little crazy, but were mostly harmless  devil  

     I am terribly sorry that chronic pain has had so many negative impacts on your life. I think that is one thing we all have in common. The struggle to put our lives back together and help those around us realize that we are not the same person that we once were. Most people slowly change over time. Chronic pain patients on the other hand have no choice but to change and adapt daily. Sometimes, that is the hardest part of our relationships we had before chronic pain. They just don't grasp that we are not who we once were. No matter how hard we try.... we will never feel as good as we do today, tomorrow. We will never feel as good as we do tomorrow, the next day. We just don't have time to waste. We just don't have energy to waste.

     The hardest part for me was waiting on all those people who expected me to "get over". I literally had to wait around for them to get over their "guilt" from how they treated me initially once it was plainly obvious I was very sick and would never be the same again. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to yell," Could you "get over" your guilt already?!?! I need some support!".

     Here I am chatting away! I'm sorry, I do that sometimes. It was so nice to meet you! I look forward to knowing you better as time goes by.



TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
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