Crying for two days......

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 10/24/2010 10:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know what in the world is going on with me!! My last two Duragesic patches have not attached well no matter what precautions I take. I'm so miserable and so horribly sleep deprived that I can't even remember when I slept last....... My ortho surgeon gave me steroid shots in both hips last week so that maybe I could lay on one side or the other after I have my stimulator put in on Wed. As it is now I have to sleep flat on my back because of the chronic bursitis in the right hip and a left hip that is now becoming degeneratively arthritic. As soon as my joints starts to go...they go quick. I am so anxious to get the stimulator in. I need to correct something I said the other day. My doctor said that he would decrease the meds in baby steps. He was not the one who brought up decreasing the meds. It was me because I am so afraid of the whole withdrawl scene. I know that I'll require meds for life because this is something that is not cureable. I've cried for two days. I feel like I'm just losing it emotionally sometimes. I try to keep up a front especially for my aged and ill parents. I was at their home for just about 30 min. Sat. dropping off houseshoes I'd bought for Mom and Dad started in on what a handful Mom had been that day (Parkinson's Disease) and I wanted to tell him to "shut up". I've never been like that! It's a good thing that I only have a few days to go before I end up making my family mad.  We've also had a beautiful full moon the last few days. Any other crazy's out there?

White Beard
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 10/24/2010 10:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time, but I am also kind of wondering, that if those steroid shots has something to do with it?  I know when I get steroids I cannot sleep and literally all I want to do is cry that is how steroids affect me. I know it is terrible when I have a UC flare-up because they alway put me on heavy duty steroids, and I am a mess, the one time I had a flare and I was working on Oncology and I had terminally ill patients that I was caring for, and I was a mess I was crying right along with the family, I ended up begging my PCP to wean me off of them because it was so difficult working like that! I have known several other people that has the same reaction to the steroids and it just so happens both of them were nurses too!  So I am just wondering if with all that is going on with you right now, ( I mean it has to be a very emotional time for you!) well I am wondering if the steroids isn't just kind of having a complicating affect along with it?????  Everything you have said in your post kind of indicates that, even with how you felt with dealing with your parents!  I do want you to know nurse2, that you are not alone in all this, we are right here, to give you any and all the support we can!  And YOU are Not Crazy either! You are really going through allot right now! May it is the full moon, but I would just about bet it is more likely the steroids! 
 Anyway I just want you to know that I have you in my prayers, and I am wishing you all the very best!
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 10/25/2010 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Nurse2, I am saddened to read this....that's a lot of stress to be dealing with. I agree with White Beard - I expect the steroids have something to do with the rocky emotions. My girlfriend has a young daughter with asthma, and when she's on steroids for it, she's quite honestly a horrid monster...and that is NOT her normal self. Steroids can cause a host of problems and side effects, so hopefully, you'll see those problems diminishing over time.

Good luck with everything on Wednesday!

DX: Fibro, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Surgical Adhesions, IBS, IC-PBS, Carpal Tunnel (both wrists), FAI, Reynauds, Opthalmic Migraines, Drug Related Hot Flashes, Physically Unable to Vomit due to Nissen Surgery, Extremely tiny and scarred veins (hard start for IV's)

Meds: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Cesamet, Flexeril, Clonidine plus Vitamin D + Multi daily

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16787
   Posted 10/25/2010 10:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Nurse I am with WhiteBeard, I know steroids keep me up for at least 48 hours after one shot. Every now and then I ran across the patches that I had trouble getting to stick. I bought TegaDerm to put over the patch not only for making sure it would stick but it was great for helping to keep my patch dry when showering. You may want to invest in a box, you can get them at the drug stores in various sizes. I used them the entire time I wore the patch. TegaDerm is the clear patch they put over an IV site when in the hospital, remember how it sticks like a second skin, lol.

Try not to wean down too fast, let your dr work out a schedule when its time for that but just don't be in a big rush, remember baby steps. Its taken you this long to get this far with the SCS, so get use to it and have it fine tuned before jumping off into something else.

I hope you can get some rest and soon. Hugs,

PS: Good luck on the surgery.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 10/25/2010 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Nurse2 please keep us posted on your surgery and well wishes, I sure hope you can get a break in the pain soon...
Lots of prayers and healing hugz.
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 10/25/2010 6:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi nurse2, I have had a lot of shots of cortisone plus I'm on 10mg prednisone a day and I totally agree, it can make you real weepy or emotional. Totally stuffs up my sleeping, sort of feel like I've had massive doses of caffeine after some of the shots. I get bursitis alot and also find heat packs or hot water bottles can help at night. If they're on fire I use ice packs followed by heat later.
I really hope the surgery goes well for you, my thoughts are with you, golitho

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 10/25/2010 7:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi N,
Just curious why you are lowering your meds if you are in such pain? The SCS should help but please know that it takes several weeks, if not longer, to get the programming right & to be able to heal from surgery. The pain will probably increase temporarily after the permanent implant (I really don't understand these doctors who say that you shouldn't need meds after you've had surgery! What world are they living in?).
If the trial helps & they do the permanent implant, your pain will lessen gradually & you will want to slowly decrease your pain meds. If your PM is telling you that he won't give you pain meds anymore after the SCS is implanted, THINK TWICE. I've talked to over 100 people who've had SCS's implanted & NONE of them have been able to function without some meds. Personally, I went from 14 pre-op to 17 immediately post-op to now being on 2. And for those 2, I am on less than half of what I used to be on pre-op. But it took me 12 months of reprogramming, multiple consultations about getting the #$%^ thing explanted & a whole lot of misery before I finally started to get relief. Typically people can get better relief in less than 12 months (I had had previous surgery near the site where the leads needed to go & that complicated things) -- often it's 4-6 months, sometimes people can get full benefit in as few as 2-3 months, but I don't think anyone walks out of the OR feeling better. It hurts like heck!
Take your time. Get the SCS, give yourself a chance to heal. Then start working on cutting back on your meds. I know that desperate desire to get off of meds ASAP, but really a few more months probably won't make any difference one way or another except that if you run your pain up through the roof, you will have a much harder time with things -- including giving the SCS a fair trial.
Gosh, I hope I don't come across as preachy. I just have seen too many people who have been told stupid things about what the SCS will & won't do. You will still have pain. The SCS will give you a sensation similar to your leg falling asleep in a particular area of your body (depends on where leads are placed). If your pain is very severe, the SCS won't be any good. The reason I say that is that you will have to turn it up so high to cover the pain that you will be violently shaking which besides the fact that it looks crazy, it will worsen your pain (can you tell I've learned that lesson the hard way? ;). If your pain is moderately severe, you will only shake slightly. It is not really pleasant but still preferable to being in pain.

hope you feel better soon!

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 10/25/2010 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Family,
Thanks for all of the comments. It is most likely the steroids. They do have a way of changing my personality. I was on them for 9mon. straight once and I'm not sure what kept me from murdering people! My poor husband is one of those people who falls asleep before his head hits the pillow. I remember laying there looking at him, fast asleep after just a minute or two after turning off the light and all I could think about was just wondering what reaction I would get out of him if I just "flicked" him square on the forehead. that's just down right mean! I just couldn't help myself though. I never actually did anything to him but the thought was there! Ha! Ha!. Gosh, what we have to go through. I'm not lowering my meds at all...I just try to do without the Lortabs if I can because when the pain is bad I start vomiting and it doesn't matter if I've taken Lortabs on a regular basis to try to control the pain or not. Then the med is just wasted. I've had chronic pain for so many years that has caused chronic vomiting and my gastro doc just finally gave me an arsenal of meds to use as I thought would work. I finally figured out the combo that worked for me and that was a big help. I know that my movement will be really restricted for a couple of months has that gone for you? I'm afraid that if I start the vomiting crap that I'll pull a lead out! I think that the thing that is bothering me the very most right now is that our daughter is seriously considering moving to Washington, D.C and taking our 4yr. old granddaughter with her. We have been like this childs parents and we know that her place is with her mother but we are just heartbroken. When it rains,it pours!Ig well, this too shall pass. Love to all of you and I'll try to keep you posted of the post op recovery.
Degenerative disc disease,osteoarthritis, status post 4 cervical spinal surgeries with plate insertions and fusion, Lupus, Sjogren's Disease, Fibromyalgia, bilaterial knee replacements, total left shoulder replacement, years of chronic headaches and chronic pain, asthma.
Find blessings in every day!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 10/26/2010 10:53 AM (GMT -6)   
That's why my meds went up post-op. I was sick so we added an anti-emetic. I don't think we were so worried about me pulling a lead out as the fact that it was just incredibly painful to be throwing up -- plus I really wasn't supposed to be bending my neck so that made things a bit crazy. I was awfully miserable for a while. Every time I'd go to see my PM he'd look on me with pity & apologize for doing the implant. But it's all worked out now. We also had to increase my pain meds for a few months post-op. Just no way around it.
From the small number of people I've talked to who were also underweight at the time of their implant, it seems to be worse on the underweight people. If you're within your weight range, have a few (or more than a few) pounds to spare, the post-op pain doesn't seem to be quite so bad. There's research being done in Europe on that subject. I'll be interested to see what they find out. BS has sent out surveys asking patients whether they'd like the next model to be skinnier or to be able to hold a longer charge. The thought is that skinnier battery packs will cause less pain. I think they decided to go with the longer charge, though. oh well.

I sure hope everything goes well for you. You are absolutely right that the key is to follow the ridiculously strict instructions. I had to create a fancy contraption out of an aluminum roasting pan to be able to have a friend wash my hair for me. Wish I'd taken pictures. I'm sure it was a hoot to watch! Just try washing your hair without reaching your arms over your head & without bending your head forward or backward or turning it side to side. Like I said, a hoot!

take care,

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 10/28/2010 7:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Nurse, this is a bit late, but I can understand how you're feeling. Right now, I'm not well either, so all I can do is send you a big virtual hug.
Btw, I don't have a husband, but a poor boyfriend who sometimes gets my bad mood and only later learns that I'm in severe pain again - after I have tried to start an argument.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 10/28/2010 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
So sorry for all your pain and crying nurse. I can certainly understand as i've been on a crying spell too.

I hope you can have some good rest and that your pain will lessen even just a little.

Hang in there!!

One day at a time!!
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