~ Time to VENT!

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Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 11/10/2010 10:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Friends & Family,
     Most of us are quiet, and emotionally much stronger than those around us. It is one of the side effects of long term chronic pain. It isn't that it DOESN'T bother us. On the contrary, it does. A LOT! But, often times, we keep it all bottled up inside.
    Who better to vent to than those who know you best? This thread is for getting it all out. For venting.  It is important that we take the time to release the frustration... least we have a major blow up.
     This is where you can let it out. Once you let it go.. forgive and forget. As best you can. Get it out and take a deep breath. We wont take offense, we understand. Share it with us. 
                                                                      smhair smhair smhair

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/10/2010 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
It is not so much an offense as an issue. Why is it that so many of us feel badly about the situation that we find ourselves in? It is not as though any of us here wished to be chronically ill, and chronic pain is no less an illness than asthma, heart issues, cancer, or any "normal" illness. So why do we beat ourselves up over our illness? Why is that a part of the process of coming to terms with chronic health issues? As if the whispered ways our family may speak of us, or the rumors of "faking it" aren't enough, we add that we are our own worst enemies some times.

So I am venting about myself as well as others today. Maybe they need to lower my medications! :)
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw

Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 11/10/2010 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I am hurting really bad! I hurt all the time! I continue to do things I enjoy like fishing evan though I almost always come back hurting worse than I did before I went!
I have applied for SSD and have been turned down twice and am now waiting for a hearing. I'm hurting for $$$!!! It's starting to affect my marrage.
I think my wife and family think I should go back to work. Doing things constantly that hurt me soooo badly and having people and family see the things I accomplish makes them think I can go back to work! I hurt so dam bad!!! If they only knew!!! I do things that have to be done, not because I want to and surely not to show that I can still work
!!! I pay dearly for constantly trying to do more than I should but there is no way we can aford to pay someone else to do these things!!!
I'm so scared!!! I don't know what to say to them anymore!!! I'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't!!! I really hate the possition C.P. has put me in!!! They just can't see the pain! When I'm limping or bent over they think I'm faking because I don't do it all the time!!! I'm so mad!!! I'm so scarred!!! I hate it!!!! I really hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love You Guys!!!!
Sorry to rant!!!
Pittyful Pete!!

Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 11/10/2010 6:10 PM (GMT -6)   
The two prior vents really hit the nail on the head so to speak. These issues are so stressful right now and there seems to be no answer in sight. I have a hearing for my SSD on the 23rd and I'm freaking out because it is so important that I am granted SSD now! It does take a toll on everything when money is tight, you complain all the time or try so hard not to, you hurt everywhere all the time, and surgeries never work out like they are supposed to. Doctors always tell you what they think is going to be the result of whatever treatment they give you and it never works out that way. They only give the best case scenario.....and it seems like I always get the worse case scenario. I really just want to have days when I don't feel useless and in pain all of the time. I want my bladder fixed the way they said it would be before my surgery...not worse than it was like it is now. I want my hands to stop hurting so bad. I want my back to feel better without the added pain of another RFA, but it's just not going to happen. I want to stop feeling like such a pain in the ...........that I am a joy to be around instead of the opposite all of the time. And I want to not need an increase in meds or to feel like a druggie for needing it. I need an increase so badly that I can't even stand the thought of staying this way, but I'm to scared to ask for fear that I'll loose the only meds that help. I don't want to go on some other med that makes me feel sick, but Dr's don't really like to increase Dilaudid.....it will be that we need to try something else and everything else makes me feel so bad that the pain is almost better.

Ok.....vent over....time for someone else.............
Retired Mom

Elite Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 11/10/2010 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so frustrated!
My back was beginning to feel normal. Then I have my trip last week and now I'm in more pain than I was a few months ago! I've started waking up at 2:30 in the middle of the night in pain. I'm able to shift positions and sleep for about 2 more hours then I can't sleep anymore. Every single position hurts my body so much! I'm so tired but yet I can't sleep cause I'm hurting so badly! :(

Today I started having weird, painful muscle spasms in my right foot! I can't figure out what's going on????? It is hurting along the little toe side of my foot and on the bottom of my heel. Sometimes the pain and spasms are so terrible I want to scream! When I get up out of the chair the pressure of walking on my foot is very painful.

I was a pitiful sight to see at school today. There I was hobbling down the hall because my right foot was hurting to walk on, my back was in spasm so my left butt cheek was hurting as I walked, it was hurting my shoulder to put my hand back there to support my back. My coworkers are looking at me with pity every time I walk down the hall. My paraprofessional keeps telling me "to name it and claim it" and I will be completely heal. I feel it will take a complete miracle. I'm happy for a day were my back doesn't hurt me until I get home.

My back specialist told me the other day that my S1 disc is totally dried up and the bones surrounding it are deteriorating. Because the disk is flat my facets are rubbing against each other causing deterioration, too. He told me sitting down will hurt me and standing up and walking around will hurt me.

What makes all this so aggravating is that my back specialist won't let me have any physical therapy until I see the orthopedic specialist. Today my back started hurting me early in the day like it did several weeks ago. I can't do any of my back exercises because it makes my arm hurt more. Even the act of typing on the computer causes my shoulder to hurt from the movement of my hand. I'm having to use my word recognition software to type right now.

I just want to scream out in such frustration! Everyone keeps telling me you will get better soon. They don't believe how much pain I'm in everyday. I tried to put on a brave face and do things to keep from hurting more. Everyone keeps telling me that they've hurt their shoulder and/or back in the past and they were able to do things for several months with the aching going on and now they feel great.

I'm not everybody! UGH!

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 11/10/2010 9:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel you Joy!! I know exactly what youre talking about!!! You are not alone my Sister!!! I wish majic was real and someone could wave a wand over us and say "Hokus Pokus and the pain would just disapear! The pain is bad enough but knowing that other around us just don't have evan a clue what we are going through is the worst! Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone!!! Well maybe just for an instant, that would shut them up> Sure would!!!
Your Brother,
PS> Last night I had a spazm in my neck that was so bad, my wife could see the muscles above my shoulder leading to my neck bouncing from across the room! I was about to cry and tried my tens unit on the area. It started jumping twice as high! I never experianced anything like it! This a.m. the muscles were tender to the touch but what really hurt was the nerves near my failed fusion. I really hate this!!! The only good thing is that all the neck pain took my mind off my back pain for a while! This really sucks!!!
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!
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