I don’t usually vent but I feel like I need to get some stuff off my chest before I burst!! There is something that I have been dealing with quite a bit in the last 2 months and I need to talk about it.
Just what is it with folks thinking they need to give others a "aggressive reality check". I mean lets just look at that for just moment. Just for conversation sake we will call the "reality check person the "aggressor".
What on earth makes the aggressor feel as thought it is their sole duty to tell another person that they must do XYZ right now because they say so? It isn't the aggressor's life. It isn't even the aggressor's problems that they are referring to. Just what does the aggressor think they will accomplish by being so verbally abusive? What is the end result? The person they have just used as an outlet for their own stress is now someone who no longer want to talk to the aggressor. As a result, others who have witnessed the outburst no longer wants to speak with the aggressor either.
So, I ask what is the pay out? It is only a temporary release of pent up emotional stress. The real problems in the aggressor's life are still present. More often than not getting bigger and harder to deal with. It has done nothing to help the aggressors real problems. All it did was proved a brief, fleeting release of emotion and nothing more. As a result the aggressor has just lost respect, friendship & support. So, why on earth does this same scenario play out over and over and over in an aggressor's life? Do they really not see & understand the same result over and over? Is it really just a chain of events that plays out so frequently it has become part of their "daily life". I hope not... I suppose at the end of the day all I can do is avoid aggressor until they
1. Deal with the real cause of their emotional distress
2. Learn better coping techniques (CBT / therapy)
I suppose in the end the only thing the victims' of the aggressor verbal abuse can do little more than forgive and forget. Afterall, we, the victims', have far better skills for dealing with life's ups and downs.
My 2nd problem has to do negative people.
Have you ever had someone be disrespectful, sarcastic, and down right rude to you that refuses to acknowledge their actions, let alone apologize for their behavior? They have their "fun" at your expense then a week later pretend like nothing has even happened and that you’ve been friends the whole time?! Perhaps I just had a "target" on my head that day and now that time has gone by I am just to stupid to realize what you did? I think not "friend". I think not.
What about people who know they have unjustly treated you with intense disrespect and when they do apologize the "apology" in question is more like "Sorry you took it the wrong way". We all know what NEEDS to be said is "I am sorry for my behavior". Do you honestly think that an apology where you refuse to take responsibility for actions is going to make everything all better? NO. It is not. WHY? Because when you don't acknowledge your actions you will repeat the same thing over and over and over again. I refuse to be part of that hurtful, vicious cycle.
And, what I funny is ..... Do they REALLY not know why I avoid contact? REALLY? Only clueless when it suits their needs. It makes me want to say...
"Acknowledge what you have done and apologize. DON’T DO IT ANYMORE!"
Thanks letting me get that off my chest.
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood Chronic Pain ModeratorMail