Way OT, but life lesson learned today

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Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/22/2010 4:10 PM (GMT -6)   
My youngest son just started 6th grade this year, my oldest is in 7th grade. Both boys found money in the last 2 days. My oldest son found $15 under our car at church yesterday, put it in his pocket and didn't say anything until he came home from school today when his brother found $50 in a gym bag a friend gave us over a year ago that he took to school for the first time today. My youngest son asked me to call the school and let them know in case someone reported it missing. Both are constantly losing their gloves and watches so I am not sending him to school with a $50 bill, so I am taking it to the office tomorrow. At that point my oldest son pops up with a story that he found this money under the car yesterday, and maybe he should take it to church in case someone lost it. He admitted before that he had known it was not his and could be mine or my fiance's, but he was going to keep it up til he saw our interaction today. Then he realized he should give it to the church so that its lost owner could be found. A lesson for each of them and me as well.
 
So it becomes a dilemma for me. I don't know if I should punish my oldest son or not. He did the right thing eventually. He is taking responsibility and going with me to the church tomorrow to tell the secretary what happened to make things right. I am proud of both of them, even if it took my older son longer to understand.
 
So what would you do? Keep the money or return it?

Screaming Eagle
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Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 11/22/2010 4:20 PM (GMT -6)   
 
    Put an Ad in the paper, and sit by your phone! smilewinkgrin   Your loneliness will be over for sure! smilewinkgrin
 
      Its a tuff call to make, and you may never find the right owner. But you have to go with your gut on something like this. It will be fun to see the different answers.
 
 SE wink

Chartreux
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 11/22/2010 5:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Try as best to return the money, someone maybe desperate for it,
and need it for something they need. Call your son's friend to see if the money was
his money, the one that gave your son the bag. couldn't hurt to ask them first
before going to the school
I think your sons have been punished enough with the guilt of taking
money they knew did not belong to them.
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

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Retired Mom
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Date Joined Feb 2010
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   Posted 11/22/2010 6:35 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds to me that you have two very special boys and I would be proud of both of them. If the one who found the money at church were not "considering" what to do, the money would have already been gone. I say big hugs for both of them and reminding them how proud you are of them for doing the right thing.

I honestly believe punishment should be for learning lessons and your boys have both learned lessons already. Don't get me wrong, I punish my child and I do believe in spanking (please don't bash me). I reserve something like that for a VERY serious infraction, however, sometimes telling my daughter how proud I am of her when she makes a good decision is more effective than punishing her for a bad one. She punishes herself enough with guilt.

All my best!
Retired Mom

Jim1969
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Date Joined Jul 2009
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   Posted 11/22/2010 7:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I wouldn't punish them but I would have a long sit down talk with them. Tell them that while you are proud they eventually did the right thing you are also disappointed in them that it took them this long to figure out what the right thing was.

Then go on and talk to them why it is important to do the right thing right away and do it in a way that gets them to think.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/23/2010 7:51 AM (GMT -6)   
SE Hilarious! I wonder how many people would claim to be the owner of the $50 bill found in a gym bag? We would probably have hundreds of calls!
 
I didn't punish anyone. When I thought about it, punishing the one who waited to say something versus the one who said something right away would be counter-productive to good parenting. It would just teach them that telling the truth would get them into trouble. So we discussed how much that money could buy at the grocery store to a struggling family, and how much the $50 bill could buy. My youngest son said that maybe it was God helping us out for the moment since we are a struggling family......I set his mind at ease about how we may not have much money on hand, we are by no means struggling. The bills are paid, we have food, a home, and enough to buy some small things for Christmas. They have never had a huge Christmas even when things were better. I never thought it was a good idea to have tons of gifts for my boys, they rarely played with the toys that the extended family bought anyway. So I always provided a few treasured things and gloves, hats, scarves, crayons, etc. I tried to teach them that it is the thought and time put into a gift, not the amount spent on it.
 
Still waiting to hear from the friend if it was their $50. They moved to Virginia, we are in Pennsylvania. I am hoping that it is not a child at school whose parent gave them that much for lunch money, and they went home yesterday to get in trouble because they lost it. I don't think that is likely.....what kid would carry that much in his gym shorts to put it in the wrong gym locker and gym bag? Still, it needs to be checked so that none of us feels as though we stole it from someone who needed it. Maybe it is just a coincedence and they get to keep their found cash......I wish I was my 11-year-old with a $50 bill! smilewinkgrin

MIKEL99
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Date Joined Feb 2010
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   Posted 11/23/2010 8:45 AM (GMT -6)   
You've got two fine young men there , the one boy was unsure what to do but came forward when he witnessed his brothers actions . That is so great brothers teaching each other ! It doesn't get much better , count your blessings , thats awesome !!! Mikel
HIV+. meds - epzicom, Kaletra . oxycontin as needed , indothemiacin . hip replacement surgery done !!! Saw the surgeon and I'm really healing great ! Been in physical therapy for almost 2 months now and I can walk pretty well , only going up and down stairs is still a little tough so one step at a time , but that's because of my knee not my hip , but I can walk again , no cane , just me !!

Jim1969
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Date Joined Jul 2009
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   Posted 11/23/2010 9:49 AM (GMT -6)   
When I was about 11 or so a friend and I were out riding our bikes around town and our ride had us cut through the Pizza Hut parking lot where we found a small canvas zipper type bank bag and inside was at least $300 dollars in cash. It was tempting to keep it, but only for about 3 seconds. We took the bag inside and gave it to the manager on duty.

We were rewarded with a free pizza and pitcher of soda for lunch plus he gave us a roll of quarters to play video games and then when we were leaving he gave each of us a coupon for a free large pizza to reward us for our honesty.

The way we were treated made us feel really good about doing the right thing. The heartfelt thanks had us feeling pretty good as well and the free pizza sealed the deal.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/24/2010 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Both the boys decided to use some or all of the money to buy Christmas presents for a mother and her boys in our church who are having some financial trouble right now. She also is expecting a baby girl any day now. I have wonderful kids!

Mindy
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw


Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!

MsBunky
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Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 11/24/2010 11:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Mindy, you have boys to be proud of. It's not always easy to do the right thing, and especially when it's something you could easily hide from another. Still, both your boys made the right decisions and that's a testimony to how they've been raised. Good job Mom!

hugs,
Pam
DX: Fibromyalgia, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Surgical Adhesions, IBS, IC-PBS, Carpal Tunnel (both wrists), FAI, Diabetes (just diagnosed), Reynauds, Opthalmic Migraines, Drug Related Hot Flashes, Hard Start for IV's, Unable to vomit due to surgery.

Meds: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Cesamet, Flexeril, Clonidine + Vitamin D + Multi daily

Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/25/2010 8:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all! Pam, you just made my day......

Mindy
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw


Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!
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