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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 12/4/2010 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
I hate my body!! hate hate hate it
How do we get around this one when our meds cause weight gain,
we are in so much pain we can't move or get out of bed, we
hardly eat and we still gain.
It is a sensitive subject with any woman.
We all want to look our best but chronic pain hits us from
all directions. Is it fair??? Do we not already have enough
to deal with!!!!!
Is there anyone else that feels like I do???
Let's talk about this subject.

One day at a time!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 12/4/2010 12:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I hate hate hate my body too! It is not bad enough to hurt and be depressed....but then the meds that help a little.....but not enough to give us the ability to exercise....make you gain more weight! I have never been petite! I am 5'8" and very big boned....I have shoulders like a linebacker! But I used to be quite thin....and my hubby eats like a horse and can't gain an ounce! I love him dearly but ooooohhhhh that frustrates me! I hardly eat anymore, also, and the scale keeps on climbing! I feel like a moose next to my husband! And most the time when guys gain weight, they are called "Big guys" or "husky" or others that are not really bad names.....women are just called "FAT"! I hate being fat! I refuse to even get undressed in front of my husband anymore!

Yes hun...........I can relate!

Sending loving and healing thoughts your way!

Take care of you,
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus

Medications - MS-Contin, Plaquenil, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone

Elite Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 12/4/2010 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Same from the peanut gallery...
I'm 5'5, 250 lbs. everyone tells me your pain will be less if you loose some weight. Yeah, true, but I can't find the strength some days to do my daily things let alone exercise.
After a full day of walking around the classroom and bending over small desk I'm exahusted and my back is hurting. I don't want to do anything but sit down when I get home.
I don't eat that much, but it clings to me.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 795
   Posted 12/4/2010 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, yes! I can relate. This is just another battle we have to fight every day. I really watch what I eat. If I didn't, I am confident I would weigh 300 lbs. As it is, I am 35 lbs overweight, and I am on 5" 4" tall, so I am FAT. Sigh. I can't give up, though, or I would be worse. The only exercise I am "allowed" to do is walking or swimming or Tai Chi. I used to work out three times a week.....that seems so long ago, and in another life. Winter is here, so it is even more difficult to get out and walk. So.....I guess I will dust off my Tai Chi DVD. It is called Tai Chi For Seniors, LOL. Anyway, all the stretching does help me feel better. I so know how you feel. Sometimes I wear big baggy clothes and I used to not get undressed in front of my husband either. But.....I decided I couldn't give in. I will try, once again today, to eat less and exercise more.

Please try not to let the "weight issue" get you down. It has nothing to do with your worth as a person. It is just another health challenge we have on top of everything else. And don't give up. Not because you think you are fat, but because you are just trying to be as healthy as you can be. And don't be so hard on yourself. This life is not easy. We all do the best we can do.

Best Wishes,
Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Asthma
Plaquenil, Lexapro, Cardizem, Lisinopril, Advair, Lipitor, Vit D, Joint Supplements, Soma, Tramadol
Be Kind To Others For Everyone Is Fighting Some Kind of Battle

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2859
   Posted 12/4/2010 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   

I  have gained 22 pounds since July after deciding to go off Lexapro and valium for fibro.  I have a monster Benzo Belly and yesterday tore the crotch out of the only pair of jeans that still fit me.  I keep thinking it will come off...all this extra 'blubber' have put off buying clothes that fit.  I could not even go to a funeral a few weeks ago...tried everything on in the closet and couldn't even 'fake it' with some loose fitting outfit...then decided I could hide the gaps with my long winter coat and that wouldn't come close to buttoning.  I gained a bit of weight on these drugs but nothing like when I started tapering.  Sometimes the 'cure' is worse than the least in my case.  Oh, and my belly is so huge the adhesions from several surgeries are tearing.  Owie.



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 12/4/2010 4:05 PM (GMT -6)   
It does make one understand what a Catch 22 really is.

According to the generic charts I am around 60-70 lbs overweight myself, but for build I am more like 40-45 lbs overweight as I have a very big build and also have a very dense bone structure. I would love nothing more than to drop that 40 lbs and I know doing so would help improve not only my back pain but also my diabetes. I only consume about 1800-2000 calories a day, and many days less than that, but at best my weight stays the same....only fluctuates by 5 lbs or so.

As all of you mentioned it would help if I could exercise but that is so hard to do when you hurt all the time and just basic daily tasks kill most days even on pain meds. I have a Total Gym in the basement that I could use but the basement steps are steep and I have a hard time getting up and down them. I would love to make room upstairs for it, but that would require a lot of rearranging of things and I just don't have it in me to do it, not to mention lugging that thing up those stairs. For the past 3 months or so I have been working on doing it anyway, but an hour or so of working on this project ends up leaving me hurting for a week or more and then I get way behind on the basics. It is a vicious circle to be sure.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 12/4/2010 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm right there with you!!!!!! I hate, hate, hate it!!!!! I hate people looking at me and some idiot sure have gained a lot of weight. I dread going to the Dr next week (that hasn't seen me for three months) because he'll freak when he sees the extra lbs. I hate holiday pictures and I hate having to hide behind my family in photos so that my slim and trim husband and daughter don't make it even more obvious that I'm a tub of lard. I hate it!!!!!
Retired Mom

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 12/6/2010 12:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I've struggled with a self esteem issue since I was about 9 years old (Im 33 now) and me gaining wait won't happen. I was 165 about 2-3 years ago at 5'3 and now Im 124. I lost about 11 lbs in the last month. Im now taking lyrica and Im terrified about gaining weight. I feel so stressed about it. I almost feel vain in a way. I would rather have pain than gain weight. It is unfair. It sucks and I wish none of us had the issue or fear of it *hugs*!!
back on lyrica and also on imovane. Im seeing my family doctor once a week for the next 4 weeks.
-Bone scan done.
-PM doctor Dec 8th. Results from bone scan
-waiting on cervical facet injections

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 12/6/2010 7:54 AM (GMT -6)   
It seems like I could jsut rewrite bits and pieces of all the posts to make my own! I stuggle with this so much, it is an everyday battle. It doesn't make sense when doctor's tell me to lose weight, but don't exercise, just walk until I feel tired without causing more pain. Hello people! Walking causes pain as does stretching, reaching, jolting movements, etc. Then when I began to lose weight without really trying the doctors freaked and tested me for everything under the sun! Make up your mind please? Should I lose weight or not?

All 3 of my men are thin, and I cook for them, watching them shovel it in at dinner everyday and just end up putting my head on the table. If I ate a third of what they eat I would not be able to walk I would be so big! I dread going to parties, baby showers, and my wedding day is coming. I am going to feel like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man walking down the aisle! Why didn't we decide to elope?
Compared to some who posted their numbers on here, I am a whale. Fat no longer describes me. It doesn't help the depression knowing I could be a side show in an old fashioned circus!

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw

Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 12/6/2010 2:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm right there with all of you, after two years of prednisone, Lyrica, etc. etc. plus being in bed or in a wheelchair most of the time now. :(

Monty's Mom said...

All 3 of my men are thin, and I cook for them, watching them shovel it in at dinner everyday and just end up putting my head on the table. If I ate a third of what they eat I would not be able to walk I would be so big! .....
Compared to some who posted their numbers on here, I am a whale. Fat no longer describes me. It doesn't help the depression knowing I could be a side show in an old fashioned circus!

Mindy hon, I'm in the exact same boat! ((((((((((Mindy))))))))))))

That said, I have recently managed to lose a few pounds since I started to follow the Paleo diet ( Even without exercising.

But I should warn that it's very restrictive! No grains at all!! No dairy!! Just meat, fish, poultry, eggs, nuts, veggies, fruits, small amounts of honey OCCASIONALLY. I'm already gluten free, and have been trying to be grain free with some success. The thing I'm having the most trouble with is the dairy free thing....I can't give up cheese! Yet.

But I still lost some weight....I'm just praying that my small loss on this new diet is not an anomaly and that I'll be able to continue with it.
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, Bartonella, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac, asthma, psoriasis, adrenal fatigue, pre-diabetic, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Suprax, Malarone, Alinia, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Liothyronine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec

Post Edited (nasalady) : 12/6/2010 1:42:50 PM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 1/3/2011 5:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I am in the same boat as everyone else it seems! I was thinking of hiring a cleaning lady because cleaning the house (I have a two story house- stairs yikes!). Because I used to be really particular but I have had to live with lower standards since I just don't have the energy after working for 13 hours a day at work to clean the house when I get home and it takes all of my days off to re-energize to handle the next work week. I would love to find a Dr. that would give me the pain meds I need to be more active, but I only have limited scripts of Vicodin and Robaxin (muscle relaxers) and I have to space them out and use them to make it through the work week and allow myself to do the absolutely necessary stuff- like before I go to bed so that I can get some semblance of sleep. And since I get extreme amounts of pain after I exercise even a little (short walk of a couple of blocks) the pain meds aren't going to cover exercise too. It is a catch 22. I was 130 (I'm 4'11") when I started on Zoloft for migraines and other pain. By the end of the year I was 180. I also gained weight with Lyrica and Neurontin. By the time I said enough is enough of the off label pain meds I was at 226. I am now stuck at 207, but would love to have a life other than that of a shut in. But since I can't sleep through the night because of pain, I am tired all day. I can't sleep, I am in pain all of the time and I am like 100 lbs overweight. I actually had a PM doctor look at an old pic of me before I got sick (it was on my work ID on my keyring) and the a** said,
"Is that you? You used to be beautiful. I can see why the weight gain bothers you." Yikes! I don't even get the "Your beautiful at any weight" from my parents and relatives. Which makes me want to stay a shut in!
I think its people like all of us that makes me so angry at those people that abuse pain meds to the point that it is all but impossible for us to get what we need. Those meds for us could be life changing, but its almost impossible for us to get what we need. So I just pray every night. I pray.
Dx'd: TMJ-1997; High Blood Pressure- 2007; Fibromyalgia- 2009; Raynaud's- 2009; Arthritis- 2010

Medications- Who can keep up? If its out there for what I have or might work to prevent pain for what I have then I have tried it. But actual pain relievers- not so easy to get in the Land of the Free.

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 1/3/2011 6:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Yep me too! I have been fat most of my adult life evan though I'm tall. I can't evan remember a time when people didn't rub my belly and make a wish as if I was a Buda! I really hate that!!! Ladies, we guys do have feelings too ya know! Men are much more in your face about making jokes at you than girls are.
I hate the way I look! I'm sure that I embarrass my wife who sometimes looks at a man and says geeze, look at that guy, why doesn't he just stop eating? I know that she is talking about me and it really hurts!
I went fishing last Friday w/ my wife the first time in about a year & a half. It was a beautiful day (80 degrees) and I told her we could just go to the river to see the manatees and do a little fishing around the springs they hang out at in the winter to stay warm. I was flyfishing and catching ladyfish that jump like crazy so I asked her to take a video of me catching one.
Well when we got home and I looked at it I felt so embarassed! I was going to send it to Suzane & Michael before their upcoming trip to Fla. to show them how nice it is here and how easy to catch fish but after seeing what I looked like I just can't!!! Now I think I know why my wife doesn't want to go out on my boat w/ me anymore!!!!!!! I look discusting w/ my giant belly sticking out!!! I'm so depressed!!! No wonder she won't make love to me anymore! I don't blame her!!!
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!

Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 1/3/2011 7:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh Pete, I'm so sorry for how you feel. This one really bothers me. I'm heavy, that's a given and have gained weight since starting the CP roller coaster, but my husband is very trim. It really bothers me too, especially in the intimacy department. He's very kind about it, but I know it bothers him too.

I don't see it the same way with men though, and I don't know why. A man with extra weight doesn't bother me at all. I see them like a strong tree stump. A woman, well that's me and I see all of us differently. My best friend had gastric bypass and is thin now. She hated being fat so badly that she couldn't live with herself and she couldn't do it on her own. I've even thought about that, but don't think I'd have the luck she did. I can see myself dying from elective thanks....I don't heal too well.

I was just sitting here (as usual) thinking about how to change my life for the better....not my family, but me. That means taking time to change what I eat and how much. Trying to learn when I'm full and not stuffing myself like a pig. I eat strangely healthy, but WAY too much! Perhaps this will be my "session" for the week rather than famly drama.....I've had enough of that to last a lifetime.

Pete, noboby sees you as horribly as you do and relationships are about how you feel when you are around the other person. Perhaps it's time to make your wife feel like something special when she is with you. Honestly for me that is a hug, a small gesture in public or private like holding my hand, or something simple like changing a routine. I love my husband, but I miss those things too and it does make you feel special when somebody does something for you that is totally unexpected and just plain nice.
Failed fusion L5-S1, Pituatary damage, HGH Def, Fibro, Bladder surgery failure, Nissen Failure, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CTS (Bilateral Surgery completed), CFS, TMJ, Migraines, Vit D, A, Magnesium deficiency, Pre-glaucomic (sp?), HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia, Edema, too many Drug/Food allergies, sensitivites, and current meds to list.

Joan M
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2052
   Posted 1/3/2011 9:20 AM (GMT -6)   
i lost about 25 lbs after total knee replacement and fear gaining it back. doctors have been mean about it. have not been able to swim since september. have had handicap plates from 1993 on and my foot has been bound since mid september. doctors have not been very sympathetic about it. every drop of food i put in my mouth, i do worry about. used to be thin but that was pre-asthma. after asthma i slowed down a lot. after feet problem could no longer go for long walks.

wishing all well

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 1/3/2011 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   
This is one thread I have been kind of avoid reading. But this morning I have read it through each and every post, sadly I can relate to just about everyones post in one way or the other!  I am glad to see the other men also posting on this thread.  You woman do not have the exclusive rights to being over weight! We men are also right there with you! But unfortunately I think Beckey (antbuggey) is right!  Most,  not all, but most, over weight men are looked at differently than most overweight women. And to be honest, that is not right! Women are again, not being treated fairly! I do think men ( outwardly at least) do not let the weight gain bother them as much, but again that is outwardly! Inside, I think most men are as bothered by it, as much  as most women are! 
 I know that I have a serious problem with the weight gain, I am 5'8" and as of this morning I weigh about 234. which is a huge weight gain for me! My days in the military if I got up to 185 I would be busting my but to get the extra weight off, because, of fear of being put on the fat boy program, an being labeled unfit for re-enlistment! In my sqadron we had to weigh in twice a year, and had to do arrobics testin once a year. ( run a mile and a half in a certain time, depending on your age) Anyway those days are long gone.  But in some ways I really miss them, because there was a constant incentive to keep ones weight under control! But now,  with being on disability and in chronic pain, I do not have that incentive, and the pounds have slowly piled on, and my clothing size has increased as well! Along with that is depression, it is depressing, when you go to put on a pair of pants and they nolonger fit, or a shirt that is so tight that you are afraid to move your arms in fear that the buttons will pop off!  Oh!  it is so easy to gain the pounds and so very, very, very difficult to lose them! Lately I have also been having problems with fluid retention, and have been put on Lasix and Potasium, I have had extensive test done and they say my heart is OK, and my lungs, ( I am not at all sure I agree) but anyway I have had some major problems with shortness of breath, and the doctor thinks it is because I am so out of shape, and with the weight  gain, so they are suppose to schedule me for respirtory rehab???, to build up my stamina and exercise tollerance??? I have not been scheduled for it yet, but I do hope that this will help me, maybe lose some pounds?????
Anyway hang in there everyone, I think ( along with chronic pain) we can all relate to this topic, and it seems that we also have this  affliction in common!
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/3/2011 12:23 PM (GMT -6)   
It makes me so sad when I read posts like this. I absolute detest the messages we're bombarded with that say "unless you are thin, you're not worthy of acceptance or love". That is SO WRONG and SO NOT TRUE!

I think all of us have body issues and things we want desperately to change. I agree with the Catch-22 of how do you use exercise to stop pain, when it hurts to do the exercise that is supposed to help you. One thing I learned from my doctor is that for the most part, the pain I may feel when I'm exercising doesn't necessarily mean I'm doing more damage to my body. That was important for me to meant I could exercise with more freedom, knowing that the pain was temporary and wouldn't become permanent, like everything else. It wouldn't hurt to ask your doctor how that might relate to you and your situation.

I started doing AquaFit, which works so well for me, because there is no pressure on the joints and muscles. I still get a good workout though, and I can see the difference it makes in terms of weight loss and pain relief.

I hope that all of you realize that you ARE beautiful, exactly as you are. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission!

Whatever you try to change about yourself, let it be because YOU truly want it, not because someone has hurt your feelings or made disparaging comments about you. Losing weight can definitely help with pain management, but how you approach it has to be fun. If you don't enjoy the activities you're involved in, you won't continue with the program.

I have been living with pain for over 30 years now. There is not one single pain free day I can recall, for as far back as my memory goes. I know how hard it is to get started with something that makes you hurt, but there really are benefits for you.

Big hugs to all of you. I truly, truly wish that 2011 will be as pain free a year as possible, and that each of you is able to set and attain a goal that will make your life better.

DX: Fibromyalgia, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Surgical Adhesions, IBS, IC-PBS, Carpal Tunnel (both wrists), FAI, Type 2 Diabetes, Reynauds, Visual Migraines, Drug Related Hot Flashes, Hard Start for IV's, Unable to vomit due to surgery.

Meds: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Cesamet, Flexeril, Clonidine + Vitamin D + Multi daily
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