Thank you so much for your comments....it's very helpful to have the perspective of another man who's in a similar situation!
I agree; I do think that Paul is depressed and yet he resists going to the doctor and/or asking for meds to help with that. I guess that's another typical guy thing?
I have been trying harder to remember to tell him how much I appreciate all of the things that he does that I just can't do anymore.
Of course, I'm
depressed because I can't do those things myself (like laundry, etc). Also because I'm losing my job/career, my health is so bad, etc. Sometimes it's hard to pull myself up out of my own pit of depression to help him with his.
I do take the kids off his hands as much as I can. They are 4 and 5 years old so I put TV on for them in my room and snuggle with them so they'll stay with me and leave him alone for a while. I do that when it's possible, but sometimes I really have to get some work done on the computer, then I have to ask him to take over.
One thing I have NOT done is to suggest that he get out of the house for a while and go shopping for vinyl LPs at used record stores (one of his favorite things to do in the whole world!) or something. I will try to set that up....I think it might help.
I have selfishly been hoping to hear expressions of appreciation from him for the things that I do for the family (like cooking or continuing to work part-time) even when I'm in pain. But I don't think he understands how bad I feel, and when he does notice that I'm on the computer, he seems to regard it as "playing around on the Internet". He knows I post on forums or on my blogs sometimes, which isn't work, of course.
Maybe if I express enough appreciation for him, it will help him to appreciate me a bit more? Most of the time I feel like I'm just a burden on him, except for my cooking and my ability to continue to bring in money. That really contributes to my
He used to be proud of his attractive scientist wife, now I'm just this chronically ill person that he has to take care of, blown up to unrecognizable proportions on tons of meds that keep packin' the weight on (steroids, Lyrica and Cymbalta, etc).
He's also gained a LOT of weight on prednisone; his own health problems push him deeper into depression.
Jim, I appreciate your offer to talk to me via email....I will likely take you up on that.
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, Bartonella, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac, asthma, psoriasis, adrenal fatigue, pre-diabetic, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel
, Suprax, Malarone, Alinia, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Liothyronine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosechttp://forty-two-joann.blogspot.com/