I really don't have much choice. If I don't have this surgery done, the end result will be that I will not be able to walk or use my arms eventually. Basically paralyzed, due to spinal cord damage. I know it's my choice, but in a way it's the only choice. I want to be able to walk and still be a part of my 13 year old son and my 2 grandchildrens life. I don't want to have to watch them grow up from a wheelchair. I know it's a pity party for myself and almost selfish, but at 37, I am just not ready for that kind of life. I am praying and hopeing that someting makes this easier on me and my family. I know that I have to have a positive attitude about the surgery in order to get thru it better, it's just the negative creeps in and then the fear. It will all turn out the way it is supposed to....trying to stay positive!