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Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 1/5/2011 6:11 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear HW Family,

First and foremost, with the passing of our dear, kind and loving Privey, I find it so important to reconnect with those I know here on HW and connect with those I have not met yet.  I love each of you whether I know you or not because you too are a family member here at HW.  I would like to get a couple of things off my chest and out of my heart. I love this site. I love that there are people who “get” each other. We may all have differing types of pain, but chronic is what brings and keeps us together.

I’ve had some really serious issues with my health of late which has caused me to be terribly sad and frightened by the dx and potential outcome.  I’ve told a few of my close friends and a few of my HW family members.  I haven’t been on HW much since I was recovering from yet another surgery…I didn’t want to be a cry baby, selfish woman when so many of you are recovering from bigger and more stressful surgeries and procedures.  Basically, I’ve been in so much pain, fear, surgical pain and have become, for the most part, bedridden.    

The thing I really miss is the camaraderie I’ve had with a few of the others members since I started here. Those people have kept in contact with me and to those people; you know who you are…  I am a very shy and internal person until you get to know me and then still I close down at times. I have such a difficult way of interacting with others and with my brain cells dying (literally) like flies in a bug zapper, it’s very, very difficult to say exactly what I mean instead of what comes out. The other night on chat, I made mention of someone and she acknowledged me back which made me feel so much less nervous! Then she was getting off the chat, I’ll be darned, but when I was saying goodbye, I misspelled her name and it came off sounding terrible! Another person who was on chat took it, in my opinion, the way I so did not mean it! I’m devastated and feel even more left out which is part of my issue and my illnesses.

I am so sorry to anyone of you who I have in any way offended. I don’t really know what I’m trying so hard to say, but I think…putting it simply, I don’t want to feel like I have to struggle to be a part of this amazing group and though the struggle may be in my mind for the most part, I know a few of you do indeed have issue with me.

If in anyway there is something that I have done to hurt any of you, please let me know. I’m just completely sad over this and want it resolved.

With Love and Appreciation,

Stac/Catz4


Stac/Catz4
DX’d-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, DDD, Diabetes Type II, Migraines, Chronic Muscle Spasms, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC, Hypothyroidism, Bipolar Disorder, CFS, Fibromyalgia. Emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06. Frozen Shoulder and Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder. Surgery for shoulder recently, now in Physical Therapy.

MIKEL99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 1/5/2011 9:15 PM (GMT -6)   
  Dear Sweet Sis , First , I'm so glad you posted !! Its wonderful to see your name here talking about what your feeling , you have the biggest heart and I've missed seeing you here and reading what you have to say . Don't you worry one little bit about expressing yourself my Sweet , or sounding like a cry baby because thats what having a great family is for . The health challenges we face get to all of us at times and we each understand being apprhensive and nervous . I know how much you been suffering Stace and how that can make you feel , you having the courage and faith in the HW family to come and talk about it is wonderful !! Your my total Superstar and I love you big time !!! You just be you Sweetheart , that is an amazing gift ! You have brightened my life so much and I know anyone who knows you agrees that you are kind and generous . So remember we are here for the ups AND the downs , and never hesitate to come to your family and get the support , caring and love we so want to give you . Love You Mikel

Post Edited (MIKEL99) : 1/5/2011 7:19:40 PM (GMT-7)


Monty's Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 1/6/2011 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Its the dawn of a new day. Try to let your fears subside. We all know how hard that can be for ourselves, and I know many struggle with it much more than I do. If you have offended someone, I believe your post has done more than enough to show your remorse and apology.
As Mikel said so well, a good family is here for you through good times and bad. You have done so much for so many at HW. Please let us help you during your time of need. That is what we are here for.
Also, I will share for you what I still struggle with. I can't please everyone, make everyone happy, or even watch everything I say so I do not offend anyone. Someone told me that if we censor our words to never offend anyone, the world would be a silent place.
I hope you are feeling some relief soon.
Thank you for all you have done for me here at HW.
Gentle hugs,
Mindy 

Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 1/6/2011 3:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Mindy, Mikel and dear Paula,
Thank you so much for putting your foot forward and coming on here to tell me how you feel about me! Amazing, AMAZING! people you are! As I go through this new illness and the fear of how much damage has been done to my brain, it is so very comforting to know there are people who really DO care and it is my desire to become an truly active member of this family again. In my heart that is so filled with worry and hurt, and filled with love and joy, it's people like you guys who make things easier for me to be....me!
With Love,
Stac/Catz4
Stac/Catz4
DX’d-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, DDD, Diabetes Type II, Migraines, Chronic Muscle Spasms, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC, Hypothyroidism, Bipolar Disorder, CFS, Fibromyalgia. Emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06. Frozen Shoulder and Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder. Surgery for shoulder recently, now in Physical Therapy.

tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 1/6/2011 6:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Stac
I hope you are feeling a bit better today. It must be very frightening to be faced with a new illness, esp. with what it is doing to your brain. Always remember that we accept you as you are. You are beautiful inside and out hon. And you can come here any time with your fears, your bad days and your good days. We will never judge you. We love you and we're here for you. I can say that the other night when I saw you via the skype and phone I was quite excited. I hope we get to visit again and soon. Get hubby to get that webcam for you. Only $20.

Love you Stacy.
Big hugs
SUZANE

One day at a time!!

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16779
   Posted 1/6/2011 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Catz4, I am sorry to hear that you have been doing so poorly lately. I saw you mentioned having shoulder surgery. How are you recovering from that now other than being in PT. It can be a painful surgery to recover from so I have been told by several people. Hopefully with this PT it will get you on the road to a good recovery and get your arm back working well.

Keep us posted on how you are coming along. Take care of yourself.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 1/6/2011 7:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Catz4,

I didn't have the experience of the chat the other night, so I have no direct knowledge of what you are referring to. I do, however, want to express how much you mean to us here on HW. I too have problems with my memory due to Human Growth Hormone Deficiency. I had to stop my meds for a while and it freaked me out how bad my memory declined during that time. I am doing much better now that I'm back on my meds, but I understand your stress.

Please know that "this too shall pass" with any comments you accidentally made. Things happen....this too shall pass.

I hope you start to feel better both physically and emotionally soon. You need a break and this stress is not helping you at all. Please try to relax and just enjoy the people here who care.

All my best!
Failed fusion L5-S1, Pituatary damage, HGH Def, Fibro, Bladder surgery failure, Nissen Failure, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CTS (Bilateral Surgery completed), CFS, TMJ, Migraines, Vit D, A, Magnesium deficiency, Pre-glaucomic (sp?), HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia, Edema, too many Drug/Food allergies, sensitivites, and current meds to list.

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
CatZ4,
You are loved here at HW. I don't know what was said on chat, but I can tell everyone loves you.
(((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Joy

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   

 

  Stacy,

   It is good to hear from you again. I am glad you stoped by with an update. Hope things start to look up for you.  As far as chat goes... I was there in chat. The only one in chat with you aside from the other person leaving. I have no idea what you are talking about? Perhaps you are refrencing a different chat time. If you ever have troubles or problems in chat please feel free to email me and I will help in any way I can.

 *hugg*
  dani


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
Mail

Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 1/7/2011 5:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello to all,
Your love in feedback is so very kind and abundant and I thank you so very much for these words of comfort! What happened on chat was not worth going into and I won't, but I will remember what you said, Dani, thank you.  Suzane the webcam is on it's way!! You'll have to teach me real French!!!  Joy, just wow! Your name says it all about you. Retiredmom, yes the loss of memory is scary to say the least! It just keeps on! It's not like my neurosurgeon to slack on my referral to another doc so, I'm going to have to call them just in case I forgot! LOL!...it's not really funny, but if I don't laugh about it...I'll cry.  And Stray...I have done beautifully with my arm. My doctor is the best of the best and works with the Florida Gators as well as the Titans so, he knows how to get people back up on their feet. I got really lucky with all my doctors.
Thank you all once again for helping me be ok with these illnesses that cause so darn much pain.
Love to all,
Stac/Catz4
Stac/Catz4
DX’d-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, DDD, Diabetes Type II, Migraines, Chronic Muscle Spasms, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC, Hypothyroidism, Bipolar Disorder, CFS, Fibromyalgia. Emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06. Frozen Shoulder and Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder. Surgery for shoulder recently, now in Physical Therapy.

antbuggey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 1/7/2011 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Stac,

I am so very sorry to hear you are going through this! I know how frustrating a fibro fog can be and it makes me so sad to hear that you are facing something so much worse! I am not sure how to put this, but I have never thought anything you have posted was inappropriate...but of course I am referring to past posts. All I ever saw was an incredibly kind and caring person, that I regretted not getting to know better. When I started on this group....you were one of the family here that I really wanted to get to know, but it seemed the opportunity never came up. Then I did not see you around or I was not around because I went through some periods of isolation, because I could not deal with my own stuff! Just know that, as you can see, many people here love you, and I look forward to getting to know you more and loving you too! I think that the people who really know you would never believe that you would do something to hurt anyone intentionally! I pray that your pain eases and hope to talk to you soon!

Hugs,
Beckey
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus

Medications - MS-Contin, Plaquenil, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 1/7/2011 6:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Catz4,
I was named by my sister 4 years before I was born. (Weird? Huh.)
My name means "joyful dedicated one".
Joy

Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 1/7/2011 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Joy, you were so very wanted! What a blessing for your sisters, but for you to have the beautiful story to tell that goes along with your name!! That made me really feel good inside! Thank you for sharing such a sweet "love story"!!
Dearest Beckey, your words covered me like a warm blanket. How incredible it is to have someone share thoughts like this about oneself. All I can say is thank you for sharing that with me. I have felt so down and been in so much pain that as I read, the tears started flowing. You are right on the point in that I would never, EVER do anything to hurt someone on purpose and in fact try to go out of my way to say good and healing words to others because I know how deeply we all need the lift that kind words send our way. I am blessed by all the out pouring and in fact, it makes me feel that it's ok to share the fear I am going through with my brain issue.
To each of you, thank you again and know that this outpouring of love from each one of you is incredibly healing. I love my family here!
Stac/Catz4
Stac/Catz4
DX’d-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, DDD, Diabetes Type II, Migraines, Chronic Muscle Spasms, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC, Hypothyroidism, Bipolar Disorder, CFS, Fibromyalgia. Emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06. Frozen Shoulder and Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder. Surgery for shoulder recently, now in Physical Therapy.

antbuggey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 1/7/2011 7:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Stac,

Hun, just know that I am not the type to share my feelings much! I will encourage people and relate to others but I don't just share how I feel much unless I really mean it and feel like it needs to be shared! You are an amazing lady and very courageous! I feel honored to know you and I mean that from the heart! Please do not hold back from posting because of fear you will not say something right! Those that mind....don't matter and those that matter don't mind! We will help you through this as you will help us! Hang in there and know that you are truly loved and cared about!!

Hugs,
Beckey
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus

Medications - MS-Contin, Plaquenil, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone
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