Dear HW Family,
First and foremost, with the passing of our dear, kind and loving Privey, I find it so important to reconnect with those I know here on HW and connect with those I have not met yet. I love each of you whether I know you or not because you too are a family member here at HW. I would like to get a couple of things off my chest and out of my heart. I love this site. I love that there are people who “get” each other. We may all have differing types of pain, but chronic is what brings and keeps us together.
I’ve had some really serious issues with my health of late which has caused me to be terribly sad and frightened by the dx and potential outcome. I’ve told a few of my close friends and a few of my HW family members. I haven’t been on HW much since I was recovering from yet another surgery…I didn’t want to be a cry baby, selfish woman when so many of you are recovering from bigger and more stressful surgeries and procedures. Basically, I’ve been in so much pain, fear, surgical pain and have become, for the most part, bedridden.
The thing I really miss is the camaraderie I’ve had with a few of the others members since I started here. Those people have kept in contact with me and to those people; you know who you are… I am a very shy and internal person until you get to know me and then still I close down at times. I have such a difficult way of interacting with others and with my brain cells dying (literally) like flies in a bug zapper, it’s very, very difficult to say exactly what I mean instead of what comes out. The other night on chat, I made mention of someone and she acknowledged me back which made me feel so much less nervous! Then she was getting off the chat, I’ll be darned, but when I was saying goodbye, I misspelled her name and it came off sounding terrible! Another person who was on chat took it, in my opinion, the way I so did not mean it! I’m devastated and feel even more left out which is part of my issue and my illnesses.
I am so sorry to anyone of you who I have in any way offended. I don’t really know what I’m trying so hard to say, but I think…putting it simply, I don’t want to feel like I have to struggle to be a part of this amazing group and though the struggle may be in my mind for the most part, I know a few of you do indeed have issue with me.
If in anyway there is something that I have done to hurt any of you, please let me know. I’m just completely sad over this and want it resolved.
With Love and Appreciation,
DX’d-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, DDD, Diabetes Type II, Migraines, Chronic Muscle Spasms, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC, Hypothyroidism, Bipolar Disorder, CFS, Fibromyalgia. Emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06. Frozen Shoulder and Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder. Surgery for shoulder recently, now in Physical Therapy.