Pain and a bad relatioship

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helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like i really am going crazy sometimes. Maybe i need to have a relationship with someone that also suffers from chronic pain so i could have someone to relate to. If you feel lost like me please lets chat thanks

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to Healing Well. Sorry that you have problems that brought you here and hopefully you will find the support you are wanting among our many members. As you get to know us I believe that you will find us a caring group from all walks of life and from around the world.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/6/2011 9:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Ever since my injury and disk removal which has left me disabled at 44 i feel my life has ended and compassion is few and far between at home. Disk removal at C6-C7- fusion also bursitis along with degenerative disk rotator cuff pain. I do not feel like i am a part of anything anymore at home, loss of love respect the complete 9 yards thanks for your reply this has been going on for 5yrs i am addicted to the meds on top of everything else i am lost do not know where to turn so i am here seeking something what?????

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3695
   Posted 1/6/2011 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
helpimlost
 
Welcome to the Healing Well Chronic Pain Forum. I think you will find that you are not alone any more with your pain, most everybody here can relate to having pain of one type or another, and allot of us have had at least one diskectomy and fusion or more, and I think you will find allot of us have even had the same type of cervical diskectomy that you have had. So we can not only sympathize with you but more importantly we can empathize with you! We do have a very caring and compassionate bunch of people here. I can understand how you might feel that your life has ended, in a sense maybe a phase of of your life has ended, and a new phase is begining. It is not always easy to accept, I know I lost my career in nursing, and was put on disability, because of my back and a herniated disk, it was not an easy adjustment to make. Being introduced to the web site was a Godsend and helped me allot, especially when I first came here, and I was in the middle of a divorce, and then I have had two fusions in my neck since then. The people on this site have been terrific and they actually have become family to me. I do hope that you will stick around and get to know everyone and become apart of our family here at the chronic pain forum.
Again I Wecome You!
 
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/7/2011 2:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi and I too welcome you to our CP family! I'm sorry we have to meet this way but at least you found us.

Many people here have had very similar experiences to yours and also have that feeling of no value or importance in life. It's very common to have clinical depression also. One thing that helps with family is to educate them on what is going on with your health. Take them, all and any of them, to doctor appointments with you. Maybe have a family meeting and explain how you feel . There are 'pain counselors' that can offer wonderful help for those of us suffering from chronic pain. Lots of folks on Healing Well have found their old selves again though counseling.

One thing I do want to mention is about your pain meds. You say you are addicted....are you sure? Addiction is using medication in a way that is NOT prescribed. It is obtaining them illegally, taking them for the 'feel'. BUT, when you take pain medication long term your body does become "dependent" on the medications. The incidence of addiction in chronic pain patients is amazingly low. Less than one half on one percent of people using narcotic pain meds for chronic pain have addiction problems. It's those who are abusing them who make life difficult for the rest of us by bring out so much bad press.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You live in pain. No one wants to be this way but here we are and by gosh we're going to have a good life anyway. You coming with us??? (extending hand)

Warm hugs,
Chutzie smilewinkgrin
Moderator on the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain forums

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” Albert Einstein

wasrn
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 1/7/2011 2:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Helpimlost, welcome to HW.  I too am relatively new here, but I can tell you, without a shred of doubt, that you couldn't have found a better group of people,  who will soon feel like very close friends, even family.
 
They have helped me so much, I know I can count on them to offer support, advice and empathy; they are great!
If you don't mind, tell us a little bit about yourself, and again, welcome to the family! wink

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 1/7/2011 6:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I too want to welcome you to the family. While I do  not know anything about your type of pain issues, I can relate to the issues you may be having at home. I lived with a very uncaring man for years with chronic pain, and never sought help unless it was an emergency when I was with him. If I had known a support group like this existed, it would have saved me years of pain and low self esteem. But hindsight is 20/20 and I am in no way telling you to leave your family. Education about your issues is best.
 
I hope you find what you are missing. This is a great place for friends and family, with many people here who are more than willing to be there whenever you need them.
 
Mindy

helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/7/2011 7:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Well to begin i am Steve 44 year old male have suffered threw back pain, Shoulder pain and other for about 16yrs Dr's have thrown meds and more meds on the problem for many of them. I am a mechanic Diesel and Auto well was. I have had every treatment from A-Z i did not want the surgery for many underlying fears, but POW had to have it for my sanity after a while. I lost many quarters of work and missed many weeks also which put me 1 point behind in drawing my Social Security come on what the heck is this crap. I have paid SS in for over 35yrs and they want to tell me it only goes back the last five. Also for many years i was my own boss and i seek to save all i could some here will understand this being self employed. As far as abusing the drugs like explained above obtaining the illegally no i have never done this but i know when i run out it is a pain all it's own. I try so hard to not take an extra pill but its seems unattainable when pain driven. My Dr said you will be much better after the surgery most famous words (Trust Me) i had degenerative disk well before the first fusion with one life flight accident before all this. I can say i need the medication, but i so hate the feeling of being dependent on anything even my family. I try to still do things which i should not and i pay for it severely. Lately suicide has crossed my mind regularly i am not suicidal so why the thoughts??? All this has not just started for me its been a long way for me 16 out of 44 does not leave many good time memories when i say this i do not mean normal memories just the ones involving pain associated with them. To read all about these new people not being able to receive meds for their pain I'm so sorry for you but as others say its a long hard road to help. Recovery at this point for me anyway what is this. I see a light at the end of a tunnel and yes it is a train this i know. Since my last surgery in Sept 10 i have had enough no more. I already look like Ive cut my own throat several times i feel butchered. Now i feel and see lost love with pain being my lover and caught by my wife having an affair. I always thought For better or worse really meant something i guess not when material things stop and all is left is you and your mate you really begin to see the other side when 100s of thousands of dollars will separate feelings of love I've seen it first hand. I understand that money is important my worries never stop daily my home has been foreclosed on twice but i have saved it thank God for his help. For me it has been a torrential rain of bad for years i need to see some sun. I know i am leading to divorce its already written i have to live with it. But as far as a bright future i am having my doubts. This is why the Help i am lost

helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/7/2011 8:44 AM (GMT -6)   
I feel i am looking for pity or simply being weak for contacting others but life is not good for me now an must seek advice ASAP>

Rhaevin
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 230
   Posted 1/7/2011 9:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Steve,

You're not alone. That's the big thing I have learned in the few short days I have been here. This is a good place, filled with caring, loving people. They are a shoulder to cry on, or sagely advice when you feel lost.

While back pain is not something I have to deal with I do empathisize about the pill issue. The thing is I learned when I was still on vicoden... if you think you're addicted, if you're worried you're addicted, more then likely you are not. You do build up a tolerance to them though, which is why you feel you need more, or they're not as good -- I go through that same issue constantly. Infact I just started a thread the other day about me and my med issue. I can remember in that first year though, when they ceased to write a script for me for my vicoden (cause some bozo said "I can't find anything wrong with you, their for your fine.") and when I ran out, that was it. I didn't get to wean myself off it, I went cold turkey and my family suffered my withdrawls as a result. But worse was the pain without any sort of buffer.

You mention your marriage, and that's where I can empathisize. I was 34 when I was first injured. I'd been dating a man for 3 years at that point, infact that Christmas he proposed to me. But as the pain got worse, and I didn't get any closer to a diagnosis, my relationship started to fall apart. One day we had it out, infront of my son's school. He called me a hypochondriac, said I was faking it, I was being lazy, and so forth. Painful things that only made what I was already dealing with feel impossible. Eventually he would end up wrecking my truck (which at the least it wasn't his fault) and right before he got his massive settlement from his accident, he cut and run. Two months later he was married to some girl he worked with. Eventually I would meet another man. He knew going in what he was getting involved with, I made sure to tell him everything; my condition, what it meant for my future, etc. He said he understood, he said he cared, he said he'd be there for me, and on and on. Of course I'd gotten my disability, and he'd convinced me we needed to buy a house together. I felt so calm around him, so at peace, so loved and cared for. It wasn't till after we were married that he started yelling at me. All the time. He justified the emotional abuse with "How am I hurting you? I'm not out at bars all night. I'm not cheating on you." And then one night my pain was so bad... it was living agony. I'd doubled up my dose of loritab and taken a morphine to try and sleep. As he draped an arm over me I whimpered in pain and pushed his arm away. "Don't touch me!" I cried, "It hurts to much." And that was a breaking point for him. He started yelling at me there in bed. "You need to quit doing things that hurt you! You need to quit putting yourself in more pain!" I reminded him as part of my condition I have to put myself in pain, I have to fight my condition. "I can't even hold my own wife!" he yelled at me angerly, and instantly I was in tears. Don't you think I want to be held? Don't you think this hurts me? I tried to explain this to you, again, and again. I don't like this anymore then you. Of all the things I would like when I hurt this baddly, I would love nothing more then to be held by my husband... but it hurts to much to even be touched. In the end I was told that my pain got in the way of his happiness. That combined with one other big issue led to our seperation, and in a few months, our divorce. From the time of our marriage, to the time of our divorce was 5 months; and most of that was spent seperated. We did try to see a councelor, once. He denied things he said to me, complained once again about how my pain got in the way of his happiness, that he was tired of my pain being an excuse for things. All it did was lend weight to the very sentiment I had said to my friend when I first found out I was going to be permanently disabled. I'm a single Mom who's permanently disabled, who's going to want me? My exhusband proved that he didn't, he just wanted me for my money and for a cook and babysitter for his two boys.

But! Yah, a big ol' but. Do not dispair! For starters alot of those meds they put us on for pain does have a tendancy to cause depression. That's a big fight, and I know I have my bad days. You need to find things that make you happy, do things that make you happy, and on your bad days, talk to folks, don't be affraid, talk to us, we're here for you just as we're here for each other. You're not alone.

Oh yah, the big ol' but. I forgot to mention, that light at the end of the tunnel... it's not a train. I ran into an old friend I've known for 15 years. We'd not seen each other for the last 10, but we'd been in touch off and on. He recently convinced me to agree to admit we're dating. He knows about my condition, he know about my up coming surgeries. "Scars are cool!" he tells me when I talk about my surgical scar I know I'll end up with. He's willing to come and spend the two weeks at my parents house to take care of me while I go through my trial basis for my SCSU. When I have my bad moments he holds me if he can, and if he can't, he tries to find other ways to comfort me. He always makes sure I've got my pills with me when we go out together, and in general, he's been the best medicine I could have asked for. I'm not saying my pain is gone, but to have that happiness in my life, to remember what it's like to smile, to laugh, and to be loved has really helped my outlook. I still have my bad days where my depression gets a strangle hold on me, and he'll call. If my funk gets to bad he'll inevitably tell me, "Go to the HealingWell forum, talk to them about it, maybe they can help." Supportive and loving...

And that's what the people are here. Supportive and loving.

Remember Steve, you're not alone. *hug*
Originally injured 10/26/2007 - Initial diagnosis; Tendonitis
Spent next year seeing specialist after specialist; Bone, Muscle, Hand, Chriopractor, Physical Therapist...
Went through a battery of tests, multiple MRI's
11/16/09 I was finally diagnosed CRPS - Stage 2
Permanently disabled and on Percoset for pain.
Hoping 2011 will see my spinal cord stimulator unit finally implanted.

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16302
   Posted 1/7/2011 10:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Steve, I too would like to welcome you to Healing Well's chronic pain forum. I am glad that you found us but sorry that you have to be here. As you can see we all have a different story to tell as to what brought us to this forum. At least by coming here you see that you are not alone in your battle with chronic pain. For whatever reasons chronic pain really can isolate us and make us feel very much alone. Depression and chronic pain also go hand in hand for some reason. Many of us need medication to help battle the depression which is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. We just need to use all the tools available to us in order to live with some quality life.

Personally, I think you are being way too hard on yourself and need to quit kicking yourself around so much. People that suffer with chronic pain are some the strongest people you will ever meet. Not just anyone can walk around for a day in our shoes and make it through it. It takes a strong willed person to live this life.

By chance since you did not meet the earning quarter requirement set out by Social Security can you qualify for Supplemental Security Income? Have you applied for it as well as Medicaid? I am assuming that you are not working. You may want to check into this.

None of us here ever wanted to be on medication in order to make it through a day, let a lone a life time. But, then your quality of life comes in to play and many have no choice but to go on medication. There is a tremendous difference between addiction and tolerance issues. I think you have yours confused. If you take your medication as prescribed by your dr, then you are not addicted to it. Now, if the medications stop working effectively in controlling your pain then you have a tolerance issue. Meaning either increase the medication or switch to something else that works better. This has the potential to happen with any medication, not just pain medication. I can usually get by with a blood pressure medication for about three years, then it stops working and we have to change it up.

Family members, spouses and friends many times do not understand what it it like to live with CP. You know sometimes we don't even understand it, so how can we expect someone else to. It is not as simple as cutting your finger or hand on a sharp knife and you see blood. Well, seeing that will explain any pain you may have. Pain is invisible and not seen by others and sometimes they just cannot wrap their brain around it. Maybe taking your wife with you to a dr appt will help her understand what you are going thru.

I hope things start calming down for you soon. Anyway, I wanted to pop on and tell you welcome aboard. Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/7/2011 11:39 AM (GMT -6)   
I really do want to thank each one of you for your kind words. It sadly seems most of us are targeted by others hate for one reason or another. I do feel this is a wonderful place to be with others with cp. But sadly i feel it is to late in the game for things to change for me anyway. I talk to my wife always but listening is not her strong point. I have raised her children like my own for years which the youngest will soon be 18. I have very bad situation with a couple of her children taking my medication it seems i can not hide it away from their obsession for them. I do not understand this at all. Maybe they do get Hi from them i do not know but what i do know is she will not scold them for making me suffer when they do find them and help themselves with 20 or 40 pills. It angers me that i must defend these dam things for my sanity as it is. less alone fight with children over them. I noticed sometime back man did i take that many or am i loosing my mind well i wasn't to find out.
But for her to say well they are kids experimenting with life sure most of us did one thing or another at one point but, to not defend what i need to live day by day hurts me in so many ways i can not explain. I guess you truly never do know a person in this life. maybe i am over reacting it sure seems this way at home when i blow up over this crap they all look at me like he is crazy i mean how am i to deal with this also on top of all else i am truly at my breaking point. I take antidepressants as most of us do. But to say you need to see your Dr i think your medication dose needs adjusted or something is a slap in the face or like spitting in it to me. I am afraid to be alone i need a best friend too but to continue like this what is the point i do not see it. 16yrs is a long time to put up with this cp anyway alone. Not to include someones drug abuse too or be asked to look the other way and just laugh it off like its just an experiment do not worry. I am sorry but i do not feel this is any type of love at all. Just a defensive mother defending her flock which is great to a point. I have ask her to put him in a rehab or something to help him her comment is it will not help him if he does not want it. Help me here people. what is my next move? (helpimlost)

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3695
   Posted 1/7/2011 1:06 PM (GMT -6)   
helpimlost
 
Am I understanding you, that your wifes son who is soon to be 18 is abusing drugs, and he is stealing your pain medications? And that you run out of them and do not have enough for your pain? And your wife does nothing about it?  If that is what you are saying, then I would have that kid in rehab, or turned into the authorities, and if your wife did not like it, then she would be out the door with them! I am sorry butI just do not think  that is not acceptable behavior, for those kids or for your wife!  When you got married did you also adopt the children?  May I ask how long have you been married? I am sure this is a very difficult situation for you, but abusing drugs is not a normal phase children go through! It is ilegal and wrong and it sould not be tolerated!  It does not make a difference whose children they are, wrong is wrong ! And if you are suffering because of it,...... well you are the one that has to deal and cope with that situation. You should not have to hide your medications, from your own family! If you do, then there is something wrong! 
 
helpimlost it does sound like you have a really bad situation, what you need to do about it? Well that is up to you! But it sounds like to me that you, might already know what needs to be done. Personally if I could not change the situation,  then I myself sure would not stay in it and I would leave, or have them leave. But that is just me. I do know what chronic pain can do to you, I have had it for a long time myself. and I have been on pain meds for a long time. It is stressfull for even the best of marriages. I was married for over 35 years before I divorced.  Just know that you are not alone and we are all here for you!
 
I do wish you well .......White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/7/2011 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
As far as keeping the drug seeking brats out of your medication I suggest getting yourself a small safe with a combo lock and do not tell anyone in your immediate family what the combination is and keep all of your medications in there. I just checked at Walmart.com and they have them starting at about $35 for one with both an electronic lock with a key lock backup and about $60 for ones with only an electronic lock.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 1/7/2011 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Steve. I wanted to welcome you to our family of chronic pain. You will find that everyone here is so caring, so helpful and never judgemental. There is always someone ready to give a helping hand.
I am so sorry for everything you are going thru. But certainly happy that you found us.
Remember to take it one day at a time. And keep us up to date on how you are doing. We all care about you.

Hugs
SUZANE

One day at a time!!

helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/7/2011 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Guys my problem just starts there! I bought the safe the whole nine yards and it was also entered regularly how i do not have a clue it was a digital safe which i noticed the instructions missing i guess to reset combo just in case you lost it. My wife carries my insurance and pays for my meds also is where just leaving almost becomes impossible for me. I am sick of this situation here and can do nothing about it. I own my house if i kick her out it will be lost i can not work and in no way pay for it. See where the problems come in at now? If i have him arrested which i have claimed i was going to do. She has stated well if you do that i will move with my son somewhere else if i had maybe 2 people to rent rooms i would kick them out i can not even draw my SSI because she makes to much money. I ask her to divorce me so i could help myself she will not do it simply because she knows she has all the power at the point and if i need anything i have to ask her for it. It gives her some kind of powerful feeling or something. She seems to love this mightier than tho routine. I have never in my life thought i would ever be in this situation ever with my own wife, well person i live with a wife does not defend child drug use or condone it. He smokes pot also is what i have used to say i am gonna have him committed to drug rehab she will not have it done and states you are no better you are on pills it makes me feel about 1/2 inch tall. I really feel bad about how i live right now and what life has dealt me these last few say 9 months there is more to her protecting her son than i know something he has dirt on her or something along those line has to be. I mean what mother hands her kid money to go buy drugs. Well he says he is doing something else with it but she really knows what he is doing with it. i know i am airing all my dirty laundry on here but i need help in deciding how to fix my life situation Sorry (helpimlost)

helpimlost
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/7/2011 3:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Suzane i will.

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3695
   Posted 1/7/2011 5:03 PM (GMT -6)   
helpimlost
 
I am confused here, you said that "you can not even draw SSI because she makes to much" but have you applied for SSD ( disability)?  The other thing I don't understand is you said that("I ask her to divorce me so i could help myself she will not do it simply because she knows she has all the power at the point and if i need anything i have to ask her for it. It gives her some kind of powerful feeling or something. She seems to love this mightier than tho routine. ") Why ask her for a divorce? Why don't you file for divorce  and since she is working and you have no income file for alimony or what ever it is called. Heaven knows with everything you have said you definitely have grounds!  At the least you could file for mental cruelty, document everything that has been going on, and then go see a lawyer. You should also see about getting some counseling. Remember the onlypower she has over you, is the power that you let her have over you!  You know I was in a bad situation too, and finally I had, had enough! I just could nolonger continue in my marriage the way it was! I talked to my pain management doctor about it and he is the one that recommended me to my counselor. My wife would not go to counseling with me. So I went by myself every week, it was close to a year, before I realized, that I did not have to put up with the marriage the way it was. If she would not change, I am the one that had the choice to either stay and put up with it, or leave and get out of it.  I finally realized I was the dependent spouse! So I pull myself up by the boot straps and said I had had enough! And I told my wife I wanted out of the marriage, and I got a lawyer and filed for divorce! Sure I was fortunate that I had an income, my military retirement and SSD. But there are programs out there that can help you. But first you have to help yourself!  You are not doing her children any favors by letting them get away with taking your meds and abusing drugs.  If they were caught, you would be in trouble too, as they are minors and you are the adult. And you are the father, even if you are not their real father.  I know this is a difficult situation for you, but only you can help yourself get out of it.
 
I do wish you well, and Good Luck to You!
 
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 1/7/2011 5:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Steve,
I see you're in a predicament. I don't know if it will help you any, but if I was you this is what I'd do:
1. Find out if you can get some extra aid for your medicines. See a social worker to help you wade through the red tape. If she says there's too much income- there's your excuse to get more help by kicking wifey out.
2. Call the law on the boy. He's of the age he need to face the truth.
3. Kick wifey to the street! She's sounds like a lead weight. If she won't give you a divorce you can file still. Some states will grant it even if the other party doesn't want it. Check into it.
Joy

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/7/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Well Steve, I can understand your reluctance to file charges against your step son for stealing your pain meds, but here is something to consider. If he gets caught with them he could easily tell the police that you gave them to him and then next thing you know you are being charged, and if you think it is hard getting pain meds out on the "street" it is 1000 times harder to do so in jail.

I really support the suggestion that you talk to an attorney about your marriage, your desire for a divorce, your issues with social security, everything. If nothing else a lawyer should be able to tell you what your legal options are and then you can make decisions based on fact and not worry, concern or fear.


In a lot of ways you are in the same boat I am. You are semi-disabled.....Being semi disabled is when you want to work, would love to work but know deep down you can't or that working would make your condition a lot worse really fast but you can't convince social security of that fact.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 1/10/2011 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Steve, First welcome to H.W. I just read though all the posts and can see why you think you are bogged down w/ no where to turn. Like some others here already told you> I understand how you feel!! I've been there and wouldn't wish it to happen to anyone! I could sit here and write for an hour about all thats happened to me but thats not gonna help you. You'll just have to trust me on that one!
I think some of the good folks here are kinda jumping to conclusions telling you what to do or not to do. We hardly know you or whats really going on in Steveworld!!!! Back when things were at their worst for me and I didn't see any light in that same tunnel your talking about and thoughts of ending it all seemed the easiest rout to take, I went to a councellor, someone who didn't judge me and listened to what I had to say! I found out that the depression I was in changed my outlook on a lot of what was going on! Things just were not as they seemed. He helped me to understand how others in my family saw me Now I'm not saying that this is happening to you, I don't know!!! I just know that it really helped me sort things out having a professional to talk to! Then we went to a marrage councellor. If there was love there, maybe it's worth fighting for? Like I said, I don't know you, everyone is different and their situations are too! Maybe it is over for you, but one thing is for sure, when you have cronic pain and depression, it's pretty hard to pull yourself up out of the quicksand by yourself! This is just my opinion Steve, I don't know if my words can help you or not. I hope they can and I hope you take the first step and go talk to someone. If $$$ is a problem, there are plenty of agencies you migh try & there is always the church.
Good luck my Brother, I'm glad you found us here and I hope you keep posting! There are a LOT of GREAT people here who know what it's like to always be in pain!!!
Your Friend,
Pete
PS> I'm fighting for SSD too> I hate them!!!
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!

HatePills&HatePain
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/10/2011 5:04 PM (GMT -6)   
My name is Jeff and I'm pretty new in here myself and suffer from chronic pain as well from Diabetic skull Neuropathy and Arthritis and missing 5 toe's on my left foot because of a doctors mistake, and was also blind for 4 years from cataracts and after 7 of the most major eye surgerys they could do I now have 20/30 vision, Thak smilewinkgrin God. I have always hated taking any kinds of pills my whole life and now because of all my medical problems I kind of have to and I do not take them to get high like some people do, I take them for my pain and as prescriped to a tee, and if it were'nt for that I could quit taking them, honestly I would rather smoke weed then any of this man made stuff they give us that the Government and the drug companys are getting rich off of, but I do not think that it would work on the pain of Diabetic Neuropathy, it is very painful. My doctor also had me on blood pressure medication because they said I had high blood pressure before and for a while and then I thought I would quit taking it one day and guess what, my blood pressure went to normal where it should be, go figure. I have not taken any since then and my blood pressure has been fine.
I did have my pain under control til they reformulated the Oxycotins that I have been on for over 2 years now and now the new OP's make me itch like crazy and break out with a few rashes as well and they do not work as well for the pain that's for sure, so I can't see the point in even taking them and now I'm gonna have to try something else that will help me with my pain instead of hinder me even more. 
  I have a Patent called turn "TAMI" turn that I have been working on since I lost my toe's to improve on medical technologies and save lives and also reduce on drug abuse and fraudulant prescriptions too. I think it would also make insurance alot cheaper so more people could get it or the help that they need. All my doctors think it is a great idea and now if I could just get it sold to a company that could get it into the market and into the US Medical System I think the whole world would be better off.
My best wishes go out to everyone on this site. turn

Post Edited (HatePills&HatePain) : 1/10/2011 4:16:57 PM (GMT-7)

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