I have read and reread your post and I am not at all sure that I understand what kind of problem you are having with your husband? Maybe I am missing something, but it sounds like he is very helpful and does allot around the house. And trys to do the things you want done. I understand that you said you have OCD and that can present its own set of obstacles in a relationship. Are you being treated for that? And do you see a counselor and have you discussed this with him/her? I mean I always thought a marriage was two people, that ideally shared in not just the everyday things in life but also the responsibilities. I know when I was married, when it came to even cleaning the house, she would do certain things and I would do certain things. How she did her cleaning was her business and how I did my cleaning was my business. I know if my wife complained that I was not doing something the way she she would do it, I would give her a choice, she could either put up with the way I did it, or she could do it her self! I mean as long as it got done, that was the important thing! If it was not done in the way she wanted me to do it, then that was her problem, not mine. But I do agree that both spouses should share in doing things, and if one can't do certain things, example I can not do certain things in cleaning, so she used to do those things and I would do others. She would do the tile and wood floors and I would do all the dusting and vacuuming. I often done most of the cooking, she would help with the clean up of the dishes. Shared responsibility!
Anyway from what you have written, does your husband have any authority or say about how things are done? Does he voice how he wants things to be? Is there compromise in between both of you? To be honest I am not getting that from your post. But as I say I could be missing something! It does sound like you and your husband could use the use of a counselor. I am sure that it would not hurt your situation, and might greatly improve it.
I do wish you luck. and hope that things work out for you and your husband!
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!