I choose not to drive very far from home. There are many reasons, the medication fog, vasovagal faint and vomit response from sharp pain when I twist or lean down, and the possibility of causing an accident because of medications. So I go very short distances if at all.
I had an appointment this morning, asked my mother to take me weeks ago when it was made. Yesterday she tried to cancel so that my sister's daughter could stay the night and be driven to school in the morning. So I found another ride. She felt bad and asked me to cancel the ride. She pulled a guilt trip, so I did. It doesn't mean anything to her that she constantly does this and cancels taking me at the last minute because I am not convenient. Guess who didn't show up this morning to take me to my appointment 13 miles away? I drove myself and threw up along the way. I made it just in time to the office because if I cancel under 24 hours before the appointment time, I pay $60 to my psychiatrist. I don't have $60.
She always shows up late, so I tell her 15 minutes earlier than I need her. It is one of my pet peeves to have someone not show up or cancel and leave people hanging when they need help. I hate this. She used to forget to get me from school and activities when I was younger too. But I am at the mercy of other people for transportation. She gets angry if I take our county transportation and gets really upset if I call a friend or church member for help. So I am constantly making her angry by asking for rides or asking someone other than her.
I hate not feeling comfortable driving. My appointment next week is over an hour away, and I don't know how I am going to get there. My fiance just began this job and can't take off, and everyone I know works. Just a stupid frustration to add to everything else. I dont expect her to change because it will never happen. But why can't she stop harping at me about asking others for help because she is undependable?