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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 1/29/2011 2:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys and gals.  I'm pretty depressed right now because my darling and wonderful husband, who has stood by my side for the past 14 years is out coyote hunting with another woman.  Now, let me help you to understand what I am depressed about....it's not because he is with "her" or that I think he is screwing around on me, because I know that my husband would never do that and he has looked me in the eyes and told me nothing is going on. NO hanky panky going on.  The trouble is that I feel as though I am losing him because I can't get out and walk 6 miles like she can and can't enjoy the outdoors like I used to.
 
It hurts to think that we might have nothing in common anymore.  I want my old life back, but I know that is long gone and that I will never be the same again.  But, thinking that my husband is out with someone else, even if it was one the guys from work I'd be just as jealous because I miss that part of my life and I know that he's out having fun with her when it should be ME out there instead is just killing me inside.
 
Like I said I know that nothing is going on.  There is no doubt about that.  But knowing that she is taking over my job as being his companion has now caused my depression to skyrocket today.  I have explained to him that I am jealous that she gets to spend that time with him and not me and he understands how I feel.  He's told me that if I don't want him to take her with him that he will stop, but I want him to be happy as well, and he doesn't like going out alone.
 
How do I keep my depression in check without feeling like I am being a jealous spouse? 
 
Hugss
 
Scarred

antbuggey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 1/29/2011 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Scarred,

Oh hun....I sooooo understand and I am so sad that you feel this way!! I have been feeling the same way! We used to camp and fish and hike around.....and I can't do it anymore! My husband also just joined a bowling league and I so love to bowl!! I bowled on leagues and in tournaments from the time I was 6 years old, and now I can not even bowl one game! I know how this feels and it is not good!

I encourage my husband to go do things with others and then cry when he is gone! Me and my husband were so much more then just a married couple!! ......we were best friends! We used to even work together and then be alone together....just us....we were together 24/7 and never even argued! And now he has to go do all the fun stuff without me and even though I do not want him to miss it BECAUSE of me, it still hurts!! I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, but I don't! Sometimes I think that I would rather he have a loveless affair with someone then have him sharing the companionship and friendship with someone!! How sick is that! I know, like you know, that it would never happen....but it is kind of twisted... that JUST sex with someone else would be easier for me to except then fun and friendship! Wow...I guess I better stop before I realize how messed up I really am!! LOL

Just know that I really do understand and I really do feel hurt for you that you are feeling this way!!

Hang in there and take care of you!

Hugs,
Beckey
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus

Medications - MS-Contin, Plaquenil, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 1/29/2011 3:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Ant; I know what you mean. You know he says we just need to build your strength up...but geez if I go out with him I will pay for it for a week just for one day of fun! I can't walk 6 frickin miles and I hate myself for it! I'm glad he's not home right now cause I am crying my eyes out. We go do bow shoots and I pay for that one day of shooting for a week and its just not fair! It's not fair to him and its not fair to me. We are like you too....we are more then husband and wife.....he's my best friend and I am his.

I don't know...sometimes I think he just doesn't understand how much it hurts me to see him out with someone else.
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 1/29/2011 3:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm not married and I'm no marriage expert, but could he get a male friend to go hunting with?

I'm sorry you can't do the things you love together anymore. Maybe you can find something new to do together?
Joy

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3703
   Posted 1/29/2011 5:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Scared
 
I am sorry I can see and feel your pain! I am not sure if I can be of any help to you in this area, you are an old timer and you know well what I have been through, so I am not sure anything I could say would be of help to you.  But you know I am a talker ( writer) and I am going to at least  say something!, You know that it is great that you want your husband to keep doing the things he likes to do. But it also comes through that by him doing it, it hurts you!  Let me ask you, you said (" He's told me that if I don't want him to take her with him that he will stop, but I want him to be happy as well, and he doesn't like going out alone.") But that is leaving the decision up to you. I have the impression ( and I might be wrong) but would you have rather had your husband just made the decision not to go? Instead of him asking you what you wanted him to do!  Would you have rather had him just stay and do something  with you? To share and have time together? Are you  thinking that he should want to do that? He should want to be with you and spent his time with you?  You know if you are, you are not wrong to feel that way! And it hurts because it is not your fault that you can not be out there with him. But yet you do not want to be the one to hold him back or spoil his fun. ( that is very noble of you  and honestly I admire that trait, I also am allot like that) but in the end it does not help you!  If it did you would not feel the way you do and be posting. I have been there!  If your husband does not take it upon himself to see what this does to you,  (I sense in your post you want him too!)   Then sit down with him and talk about it, and tell him of your feelings! Tell him how you cry when is is out hunting! Share your honest feelings with him Him, about him being out there having fun,  (reguardless of with who), and you sitting at home crying! You know the way things are,  does nothing to help a marriage, you can only do this for so long, and it will eventually have an affect on your marriage. You eventually grow apart ,PLEASE  don't let that happen, do not be the martyr, or the tough gal, that can handle the hurt, you are human,  and it doesn't work anyway!  
 
You have had to change your life style because of your condition and pain, it is not wrong to expect your spouse to voluntarily change his or her life style so you can be together as an pair!  Because that is the only way your going to remain together to do things.  And if for what ever reason your spouse can't see that and change on his own, then open his eyes and show him.  Find something new that you both  can do together!  If you love a person you should want to be with them. I am not saying that he should not have time to himself or you have your time. But  if it bothers you, and obviously it does!  then this is not one of them!  I have been where you are at and done that for many many many years, I kept my mouth shut and did not want to be a bother to my wife, and she did not see what it was doing to me or our marriage. Or if she did she chose not to care! But either way, you know how it turned out for me. Don't let that happen to you without at least trying.
 
I wish you only the best Scarred!
 
White Beard
 
 
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Post Edited (White Beard) : 1/29/2011 3:50:33 PM (GMT-7)


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16804
   Posted 1/29/2011 6:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Very well said WhiteBeard. You do need to let him know what it does to you once he is gone. By keeping this to yourself bottled up inside is bad all the way around and I know the two of you have a very open relationship and he deserves to know how upsetting this is to you. Find something the two of you can do together that both will enjoy.

Take care.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 1/29/2011 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Scarred,
 
    Emotional needs being met is a big part of any marriage. When our needs are not being met, then hurt and sadness often fill those spaces up quickly. I think we all grow in our relationships as time goes by... We as individuals change and as a result our emotional needs change as well. In your case and the rest of us it is chronic pain and mounting health problems building a wedge between us and our loved ones. It is completely natural to feel left out and missing your time with your husband. Were I in your shoes I would feel the exact same way.
 
     I think the important thing to remember is now that you cannot do the extensive physical activities together.. you need to find ones you can do together. You both, equally, need to share hobbies and interests. Each of you learn the others hobbies until you have a firm knowledge, then switch back and forth, taking turns with each others hobbies (one weekend your hobbies, one weekend his). Not hobbies that the other simply cant do.. like hiking up Mt. Everest. Take my husband and I for example. My husband asked that I learn to play chess. That was rather difficult, but I did. He in turn, learned how to play canasta. He wanted me to learn how to play his very manly video game called Halo (it is a science fiction "game") and he in turned learned to make jewelry. Turns out he is very skilled in chain mail (weaving jump rings and chains). He learned photography and I learned how to oil paint (funny story on that one, ill have to tell you one day). Then of course eventually we found things we wanted to do together... Fishing, astrology (did you know that it will look like we have 2 suns for over a week this year?).
 
      It all started when I could no longer do things with him that we had previously enjoyed. Biking, Hiking, wilderness camping, traveling....  I was so sad to be left out. He was feeling removed and disconnected the less time we spent together. Much later he ended up telling me that he felt helpless to protect me from what was happening to my body. We were growing apart. So we looked for new things to do together. New things we could learn to do together. Of course there were all the little emotional needs in between. Affection, fulfillment, gratification. All those thing began to fall into place once we were finally able to do things together for recreation. It took a lot of work. In the end it was worth it.
 
      Hey, I cannot blame you one minute for wishing you could run or hike 6 miles! That distance because that recreation is taking place without you is perfectly normal. For sake of your heart and your emotional needs it is time the two of you begin to learn new activities and new hobbies, together, that are not so "physical" in nature. You never know, you might like basket weaving or bird watching. Wouldn’t it be funny if the two of you were picking out lakes to go fishing in or planning out an herb garden together?
 
    These are just ideas. In the end you know your husband and yourself better than any of us ever could. You are very strong and I know you are just venting a little. I would need to vent too if I were in your shoes. When I read your post my heart went out to you. Goodness! I remember feeling so left out!!! When my husband and his father went down to white sands or when I was too sick to go to the "Balloon Glow" (we have international balloon fiesta here every year, the balloon glow is quite spectacular). In the end my husband and I decided to stumble and bumble our way through new hobbies we could do together. In the process not only grew closer together but we have some really funny memories as well.
 
*warm hugg*
   dani

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 1/29/2011 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey all.  I want to thank each of you for helping me figure my way through this.  I sat down with my husband after he returned and we are no near to a compromise then we began with.  I don't like him going out by himself, but apparently to appease me he is going to do exactly that.  If I am able to go with him cool if not he is just gonna go off and do the things he likes by himself.
 
Of course, this was his idea to the whole thing and I hate that he wants to do that.  He knows that it bothers me that he goes out without me, and he knows that it bothers me that he goes out with her, but if I had my choice I would rather him go out with her then by himself, because if something happens then she can get him help.
 
I'm a wife.....I have the right to be jealous, but I don't have the right to tell him who he can hang out with.  He knows this bothers me and his answer is for me to excerize more so that I can go too.  Now tell me this....why in the heck do I have to put up wit more pain so that he won't feel guilty?  I got upset....he got upset.....and now we are both moping around.  Uggggg I hate this!

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3703
   Posted 1/29/2011 11:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Scarred
 
I am sorry for the hurt you must feel! I will not say what I am thinking,.........  I really don't think that you want to much or your asking to much, I am sorry if your spouse does not agree.  I am at a loss for words as I just don't know what to tell you!    Just know your not alone, I along with all the rest of your family here on the forum are here for you!  I wish there was a some way to make things better for you!
 
Hugs my friend!{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Scarred}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
 
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 1/30/2011 4:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Yeah I know WB. It's just frustrating for both of us. We both don't want to end such a great relationship; that was made very clear. I'm not jealous because he's hanging out with another woman.....I am jealous because my best friend is taking someone else with him. It would be the same feelings if the person he was taking was a guy.

His best friend in Wyoming and he were quite close when we were there. M and him would go hunting all the time without me and I still felt like someone was coming between us and that I would eventually loose him.

Before he went to bed last night he told me "I'll take care of this. I know what I have to do to make things right." I know what that means....that means he will be either going off hunting by himself and worry me even more or he will stop all togther and just sit in this house being a crab all day cause his back hurts and that he is bored.
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16804
   Posted 1/30/2011 10:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Scarred do you still have your 4 wheeler? My thoughts are you may not be able to walk the distance but what about riding along? At least ride up to a point and then walk a short distance to where he wants to set up at. Just a thought.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 1/30/2011 11:23 AM (GMT -6)   
No Stray. 4 wheelers, along with my wonderful hot tub was sold before we moved.
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

antbuggey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 594
   Posted 1/30/2011 6:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Scarred and Everyone,

This is a really tough thing, and I am sorry that now it has caused some friction between you and Hubby! It is a problem....that like I said....I share with you! I guess what makes it really hard is that I feel like my husband has already given up a lot because of my problems and how do I ask him to give up more! I even told him that I loved him enough to let him go, rather then ruin his life!! And I truly meant it! He, of course, said there is no way he is leaving me.....but sometimes I feel very selfish for getting upset when he goes and does the things we used to do together! Then I get angry that I am acting the way! These things are part of the reason we fell in love with each other....because we enjoyed the same, fun things!! Oh what a mess! I hate you Chronic Pain!!!!! Take care of you....wish I knew how to help!!

Hugs,
Beckey
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spinal Stenosis L3/L4, L4/L5 & L5/S1 with Nerve Impingement, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, GERD, Severe Depression, VERY Large Cyst Right Ovary causing mild twisting, Small Cysts Left Ovary & 3 Large Cysts Uterus

Medications - MS-Contin, Plaquenil, Cymbalta, Famotidine and currently Prednisone

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 1/31/2011 4:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Beckey! Yep you know exactly what I am going through! I too feel like I cannot ask him to give up one more thing for me and that sometimes he would be better off without me. I feel like that I am holding him back from everything he desires to do. I have watched over the last ten years as our old life has slipped away and I can't blame him for wanting someone to hang out with other then me.

You know he actually told me, "baby I would much rather spend time with you. But I know that you can't do any of the things that you used to." I've gone as far as to try to read up on excercises that I can do to increase my stamina and reduce my pain and am looking into a yoga class to help me gain some of the strength back that I have lost over the years. But I am afraid that I am just wishful thinking here. I feel like I am spinning my wheels and day dreaming that something out there will give me back something of my old life.

Uggg!!! I can't stand for more then 2 minutes without being in tears, I can't walk more then a block without the pain shooting down my back into my legs, its just sooo frustrating! Anyway, I hope you are having a low pain day hun. The weather here is horrible.....17 degrees for a high today. And I have to head for Wichita for my SS hearing! YAY so much fun NOT!!

Hugssss

Scarred
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3703
   Posted 1/31/2011 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
You know Scarred, I read your post,  I see your frustrations, it is much the same as what so many of us have posted in the past,.... including you!!!. But there just doesn't seem to be an answer. I am convinced that even, ones loving spouse, just can not understand what we go through with having CP!  Unless they have it too, or have suffered with it for a good period of time, it just seems lke they just don't "Get it!"  Like you  I tried to do the exercise thing to be able to do more stuff,  when I did, I was accused of not really having  pain, and that if I was able to things now, why couldn't I do them before???? And then when I ended up in severe pain afterward, ( as we always do, it is payment for our follies) then I am told I should have known better, and should not have been doing what ever it was that I did! It is a no win type of deal! Maybe I am being harsh, but why should we be the ones to feel bad, and worry about holding back our spouses from doing the things they want to do! Like it or not that was part of the deal!  (in the vows is says,..... in sickness and in health!)  why should we  the ones that are already suffering with CP be expected to  to have to give up even more?    Scarred, You said you were told (""baby I would much rather spend time with you. But I know that you can't do any of the things that you used to." ") What does that mean? I have heard a similar line, but some what different when I was married from my spouse,...... but what does that mean?  He still goes out hunting with his friends doesn't he?  If you didn't say anything  or let him know you were unhappy would anything at all, have changed? I bet not!!! Even now that you have,  has anything really changed?  ???? I think  it is because they just don't have a clue what it is to have CP and what it does to you, and how it drains the life out of you! Maybe I am to cynical but I think, I  know from my experiences with my ex that it is, .... just plain selfishness!   Selfishness on her part!............. and foolishness on my part!  I don't know maybe I am all wrong,   maybe I am to cynical,   but  I am convinced,   you just  can not explain what it is like to have CP and expect that person to fully understand  and accept  it.  Not even your own spouse!  I know that there are people that will disagree with me, but just give it time, 10, 11, 12, 13 years  or longer,..........and then, ............then see how they feel  about it!!!!
 
I do wish there was some anwers for you Scarred,  but I personally don't think there are any good answers.  Other than the ones you make for yourself!  As cold as this might sound, a few years ago when I first started marriage counseling (alone) , the  counselor told me this, "we are all responsible for our own happiness, if a person makes us feel bad, it is only because we let them make us feel that way!" How true that statement is!
 
Good Luck to YOU
 
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Hopegirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 705
   Posted 1/31/2011 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
 
Scarred,
 
I just want to add a hug and let you know that (I'm a praying gal myself) I will include you and yours in my prayers. It is so difficult when things like this come up in relationships. Although it is not the exact same thing, I too understand that feeling of hurt and not being able to do the same things. I hope you can talk to hubby and let him understand what is what, and that you both can come up with an alternative activity to do.
Heck, I use to love to ski, even before DH, but I sure would not even think of trying it now...but there has go to be something else you both can do together, perhaps a new activiity that you both may have wanted to do but never did that you guys can look in to????
 
I'm sending you hugs and know that I too as party of the CP family and here for you!!
 
-Monica

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/1/2011 5:12 AM (GMT -6)   
WB:
 
Your not being cynical hun.  Your exactly right!  Its odd that we who suffer with CP are forced to put their lives on hold because of the pain.  But yet our doctors condradict that by saying "you need to keep going" But yet if we are seen doing this or that we are lying about our pain!  The weather is horrible here...I am in horrible pain and I wish that I wasn't a CP patient right now!!!
 
Things with hubby are getting better, or at least I think they are.  He's still distant, but I think things are getting better or at least I hope so.  I realize I can be difficult, in fact I can be down right hard to get along with at times, but I agree whole heartedly with you WB, when you say that they took the vows "For better or worse...for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health".  It's not like we asked to be hurt.  I didn't wake up one morning and say "Gee, I would love to be disabled!"  And this isn't something that can be cleared up with just a little pill and a long rest.
 
All of us CP patients are connected by our pain, yet its so individualized that your pain might strike me as light and vica versa.  You know, on the way home yesterday from my SS disability hearing we were talking about how the hearing went and things.  He was a bit upset that my attorney and the judge didn't ask him any questions.  I asked him what he would have said and he said "I would have asked for you to leave the room and by the time they let you back in the judge would have been in tears."
 
I looked strangely at him and said, "you don't like your wife?"  He said "nope."  So I got a bad look on my face..and said "what do you mean by you don't like your wife?"  He said...."No hunny, I don't like what your back has done to you.  Your just not the same person that you were 10 years ago."
 
Oh good way to end a conversation huh?
 
Hugss
 
Scarred

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 2/1/2011 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Scarred,
 
This may sound really silly to you, but I may have a form of compromise for you. My boys have a Wii, and you can purchase various hunting and fishing games complete with guns and fishing rods! Standing to play the game is optional, and I know from experience that they are fun and can at times, be better than actual hunting. The animals on some move and act as real animals do, but come around you much more frequently than real life. I mention this, because I too suffer the same way you do with my fiance. He does a few things alone we used to do together, and I miss him terribly and feel I am losing him when he does them often. He loves video games. I loved them since I was a teen, but with kids, life sort of got in the way of playing.
Now, we do that together, play video games. I can do it sitting or reclining, and we play anything from hunting, puzzles, role-playing, and game shows.
I hope that you soon find a way that works for you both, so you don't feel alone and that he is giving more up for you. That is not a happy place for you or your hubby to be.
 
Wishing you a low pain and happy day!
Mindy

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/1/2011 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Mindy;

Yes I too have both a Wii and a 360. The Wii was put down stairs when the 360 came into the house and I have found a couple of games that I really like. Unfortuntly I am video game dislexic when it comes to a lot of the games. But there are a few (Dragon Age, Zelda twilight Princess and Big Game Hunter 2010) that I really enjoy playing. Most of the games are pretty easy to play for me...just point and click.

Hubby and I have different tastes when it comes to our games. He's more of the soldier, shoot "um up kinda guy and I am more of a medieval, easy kinda games gal. Hubby likes call of duty where I'm more of the sci-fi fantasy kinda games.

Hugsss

Scarred
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 2/1/2011 10:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Scarred,
 
I love the fantasy games too! I play Dragon Age with my boys, and Assassin's Creed and God of War with my fiance. We have Wii and PS3. Small world.
 
Gentle hugs!
Mindy
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