auntkay, it is times like this that we reflect on relationships of our friends. Privey's death was a shocker to me and I still think about her everyday. You are correct in that we should grab every chance we can to create positive memorys with those who are with us today.
I think at times for us CP'rs it can be especially hard when a loved one passes away, because we are at times limited in the quality of time or quality of life that we can seem to offer those around us.
Time will heal the broken heart, and being open about it with others helps as well.
I often wonder how you are doing, and know that your life if full of health issues and worry. Please do take all the time you need to grieve your loved one. I once was asked what death ment to me, and my answer was "Life"
Your very first statment is a good example of what I'm talking about, as it may indeed change they way you or others who knew this person may think. It can be a life changing experience, and in a positive direction as well.
I have had many relatives pass, and of course it hurt, but when a close friend passes that you have bonded to, it can be especially difficult to deal with emotionally. Take the time to share those memorys you have of your loved one. Be wise and and live what you have learned from them.