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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/9/2011 5:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey all.  Thought I would check in to let you all know what has been going on with lil ole me.  Unfortunatly I haven't had a very good year so far.  My SSDI hearing (second one after the case went to appeal and was sent back to the Judge Advocate for review) was at the end of last month and I don't know exactly how to describe how it went.  The judge, because he really did not know much about my case, started at the beginning and trying to answer questions about how my pain was 8 years ago was difficult at best.  I think I did well though.  The Judge tried to include my depression within the scope of my CP so that he could get me a better deal and I hope that it went well.
 
But, as the saying goes...."I won't be holding my breath!"  There isn't much to hold to these days...sometimes I think I have just given up hope of ever getting any lessen pain days....and that in itself just makes me angrier so I want to fight more.  I am probably not making much sense.  After all it is four am and I have been awake since 2 when my back began to scream at me and my legs as well.  God I hate the leg pain the most!!!
 
Anyway, just wanted to give ya'll an update and I've made this long enough.  The snow has finally stopped.  It started sometime before sunrise yesterday and just now decided to call the hounds of blizzard off.  However, it seems that the cold continues and the 40 mile an hour winds are gonna make driving pretty hairy today.
 
So, I will close for now.  I wish each of you a low pain day and I hope that your pain is less then what I am dealing with which is a 9 today! eeeeek!!
 
Your good friend,
Scarred

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16396
   Posted 2/9/2011 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Scarred, if I read it right the JA was bringing in the depression due to CP, that tells me he has some knowledge of CP and the other medical issues that can result from CP. I take that as something favorable for you. I do understand your thoughts though on not holding your breath either. SSD is something I don't think any of us will ever fully understand. You know they have a great website but you really have to be careful how you read some of their info because some of it contradicts itself. Lets hope this time it will be awarded so you have one less thing on your plate to deal with.

You know a couple of years ago I got my days and nights mixed up. But one big problem I have is I am not a daytime sleeper. I never have been and I was always a morning person too. When I go to bed I get at best 3 hours of sleep and then I am wide awake. I am not one of these that will just lay in a bed either. When I wake up I get up and out of bed. I cannot stand to just lay in a bed. During the late morning I usually come in here and get on the computer and end up falling asleep and wake up with the keyboard imprint across my forehead. That tells me I took a nap, lol. These little cap naps are my actual sleep time combined. I have tried various things to try and correct this sleeping mess and nothing has worked so far.

We had sleet hit in the early hours and then the snow came along and just did a light dusting. It dropped down to 13 around 8:00am this morning but we have had a heat wave it is now 21 out, lol. I talked to my sister in Okla. City a bit ago and they got another 8 inches, last week they had a foot of snow and they were snowed in. She is sick of the cold and snow too.

Let us know when you hear about the SSD claim. Will keep my fingers & toes crossed too. Take care.


PS: I think you should look around for you a good used 4 wheeler. My grandson & I ride his and I love it, lol. He is only 5 and it was his birthday present from us and I have been the one that rides with him alot and have taught him how to ride it and he is doing very well.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/9/2011 3:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Stray;

Hey nice to hear from you! I think that this JA was quite experienced with the CP diagonises. It seemed that he asked me a lot of questions that the other one did not. He wanted to know if we could incorporate my depression, knee pain and a couple other things into the CP.

I have thought about buying another four wheeler, but I just don't think I can ride any longer. The bumps and such that come with riding one just is too much for my back to handle.

I have thought about demanding my doctor to operate on my lower back and sever my spinal cord so that I won't have to deal with all this pain that I have been dealing with. Isn't that horrible? I actually dream of being paralyzed from the waist down! How terrible! But, it just is getting to be too much to handle! I am in horrible pain today, yesterday and the day before but to want to be paralyzed is horrible for me to think and I feel so bad that I have even considered this as an option.

Anyway, time for a short nap. Meds are kicking in and I am getting a tiny bit of relief ha ha ha (ya right! My idea of tiny pain relief is just the outer edge of my threshold.)

Hugss

Scarred
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

Screaming Eagle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 2/9/2011 3:48 PM (GMT -6)   
 
     Hello scarred for life!
 
           I will cheer for anyone of our members who have applied for the SSDI! Good luck!
 
  We got 7" to 8" of snow here, and burr!...it's cold! smhair
 
     SE wink
             

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/9/2011 6:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Scarred. I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I really hope this one goes well for you. Please don't even think about additional spinal cord injury. That wouldn't solve anything and it is such a horrible thought. I know you weren't really serious about wanting that, but I worry about you being in so much pain that you could even consider such a thought.

I know things will work out for you soon.
Failed fusion L5-S1, Pituatary damage, HGH Def, Fibro, Bladder surgery failure, Nissen Failure, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CTS (Bilateral Surgery completed), CFS, TMJ, Migraines, Vit D, A, Magnesium deficiency, Pre-glaucomic (sp?), HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia, Edema, too many Drug/Food allergies, sensitivites, and current meds to list.

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 2/9/2011 10:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Scarred,
was nice to hear from you, sorry it seemed like bad news. Hopefully,
once spring comes maybe you'll get to feeling a little better.
Winter sure can dampen the spirits...Hope you can
get a low pain day soon, will be thinking of you...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Scarred)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hugz
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/10/2011 5:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks all! Your warm thoughts are inspiring to say the least. No I did not mean that I am thinking about it Retired. I was just lashing out because of the pain. I am just sick of the whole thing. I can only do little housework before I am just in too much pain to finish the chore I am doing. It's frustrating that I have to depend on hubby to do everything. And even though he has been my rock through this whole ordeal...it feels as though I can't help feeling I am just losing what is left of my independence.

I know that each of you know what I am feeling here. I hardly drive anymore because of One: the meds and Two: It hurts too much to sit for very long.

Anyway I was just lashing out and though the idea of no pain is quite appealing.....I know that this is wrong for me to think of. But also it probably wouldn't help since I would get phantom pains as well. So don't worry....its not even an option for me.

Scarred
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

damouthy1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 663
   Posted 2/10/2011 10:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Scarred, I am sorry your pain levels are so out of control right now. I feel ya on the leg pain. My legs have been just aching and burning like crazy! I have no idea why as I have never had leg pain and no injuries or anything.

I've got my fingers crossed for you on your SSDI. I am just beginning my battle (just got my first denial, think I am going to get an attorney) Please keep us posted and I hope you can get some better control over your pain. Take care.
Gentle Hugs,
Shannon

Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraines, Possible Graves Disease, GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety

Oxycontin, Percocet, Lopressor, Lexapro, Omeprazole, Promethazine as needed for nausea, Ventolin inhaler and Vitamin D3

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/10/2011 2:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Dam:

It would be well advised to get yourself an attorney for the rest of the process. I know that I have one that doesn't cost me anything until I actually win. But I only have to pay him if I win and get money. If I win and don't get anything I don't think I have to pay anything, but I could be wrong.
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16396
   Posted 2/10/2011 3:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Scarred you are correct on the atty for SSD. Some of them will charge people money up front and I say that is throwing good money after bad because there are tons of them out there that take the cases on a contingency fee basis. I always tell people never to pay one upfront because it just is not necessary. We never charged a client money upfront, when they were awarded benefits SS withheld x amount of money for atty fees. We filed our fee petition and they paid us and sent the remainder to the client.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 2/10/2011 5:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree Stray. I've never heard of a attorney asking for money up front for filing. That's crazy, what happens if you lose!? I mean like you said it's like throwing your money away cause you don't know if they (SSI) are even going to approve you. In my opinion if an attorney asks for money up front......RUN!

Hugss

Scarred
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 
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