OT - Past wrongs forgiven yesterday!

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Retired Mom
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Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/10/2011 2:39 AM (GMT -6)   
This is off topic, but something I wanted to share with my friends here a HW.  about 25 years ago (or a little longer), I underwent one of the most horrible cases of HS bullying that I could have ever imagined.  It was led by someone who had been my best (or one of my best) friends since kindergarten and I really loved this guy to death.  I knew he was not like the other guys and wasn't surprised when he "came out of the closet" in high school.  I still liked him, but wasn't so fond of the new clique of girls that he selected to hang out with.  Some of them were downright hateful.  We had just changed from a private school to a public and had changed together to help with the transition.
 
So one day the new group of friends decides to go to a special kind of bar and I say no.  Not only am I way to young to get in to this bar, but I'm not comfortable there under the circumstances because I'm straight.  So were the other girls, but they were mean people and wanted to make fun of others.  He just took it all in with his new circle and wham I became public enemy number 1.  They put filthy license plates on my car, they spray painted my driveway (15 feet long) with red paint, they wrote horrible things on my car no matter where I parked (even in surrounding towns) and they tried to run me off the road multiple times.  The law got involved, as did my father, and things broke up for a little while but never completely went away.
 
Many years later, I try to find a good church to take my child to and her teacher ends up being one of the "group" who had tormented me.  Sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth.  She even showed up at the house one day with a sickly sweet "I almost missed the house since I haven't been here in so long" (Excuse me, she was only here once and that was to spray paint obsinities on the driveway). There was no I'm sorry or no comment about having grown up and making stupid mistakes in high school.  Needless to say, I took my child out of that church immediately and have not gone back.  I do not want that person teaching my precious daughter anything! 
 
Well yesterday, I was in a local store when I ran into the guy who had been my friend and turned on me.  I tried really hard to get away from him and go the other direction, but he just wouldn't let me escape.  Finally I stood firm and told him that Yes, I was the person he thought I was and just stood there.  He still looked unsure, so I said my first name and he said he just wanted to make sure because my voice had changed so much (from an accident to the vocal cords).  I confirmed and just stood there.  Next thing I know, this guy is asking me if I would please listen to him for just a minute.  He told me that he has wondered and worried about the momement he would see me face to face again for so many years and how sorry he was for what he had done to me in high school.  I was floored.  I told him that he had hurt me really badly because he had been my friend.  We used to share a bag of chips on the sidewalk because he didn't have snack.  I told him he had hurt me because I had cared about him.  The other's never mattered because they were who they were and that was just them, but that it took me a very long time to get over what he had done. He professed just how sorry he was and I forgave him then.  To my surprise, he asked if he could hugg me.  We hugged and I walked away and talked to him for a while.  It turns out it was his birthday yesterday and he said it was the best birthday present he has ever received....to be able to finally say what has been eating at him for so may years.  Lots else was said and I hugged his neck again after so many years of pure hatred.  I think I understand what closure is now.  I always found that word a little off before, but I get it now.  I'll never forget what was done and how it affected my home life (especially with my father) but I forgive it from him now.  I honestly believe he lived under that crushing guilt for over half of his lifetime.  I do hope it was a wonderful birthday for him.  It was a wonderful present for me too!  (And yes, I did tear up a little when the shock wore off).
 
Sorry it's off topic and long, but I just wanted to share something with my HW friends. 
Failed fusion L5-S1, Pituatary damage, HGH Def, Fibro, Bladder surgery failure, Nissen Failure, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CTS (Bilateral Surgery completed), CFS, TMJ, Migraines, Vit D, A, Magnesium deficiency, Pre-glaucomic (sp?), HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia, Edema, too many Drug/Food allergies, sensitivites, and current meds to list.

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/10/2011 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
R.M. Thanks so much for sharing!!! I'm so happy for both of you. I know how long it takes to get over things like that> have a few thing that come back to haunt me once in a while from long ago that were never resolved. It's so nice when something like that finally gets burried!!
Hugs>
Pete

damouthy1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 663
   Posted 2/10/2011 9:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow, what a shock huh? I can imagine the flood of emotions you must of felt. I think it's great that you decided to forgive him. I have no doubt that this has bothered him for awhile. It feels good to put closure on hurtful things. I am very happy that you got the chance to put this behind you for good now. Take care and thanks for sharing!
Gentle Hugs,
Shannon

Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraines, Possible Graves Disease, GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety

Oxycontin, Percocet, Lopressor, Lexapro, Omeprazole, Promethazine as needed for nausea, Ventolin inhaler and Vitamin D3

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/10/2011 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for reading the novel guys. It's over now and a blessing for everyone involved. Can you imagine being able to go back and right the wrongs you did as a high school aged person? I've tried to do that myself because I'm sure I wasn't the best person always. If I ever get the chance I'll fix every wrong I ever did (intentionally that is)

:)
Failed fusion L5-S1, Pituatary damage, HGH Def, Fibro, Bladder surgery failure, Nissen Failure, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CTS (Bilateral Surgery completed), CFS, TMJ, Migraines, Vit D, A, Magnesium deficiency, Pre-glaucomic (sp?), HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia, Edema, too many Drug/Food allergies, sensitivites, and current meds to list.

misterkatamari
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 2/10/2011 1:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, that's really great. Not great that all that hurt happened in the past, but that you were able to face it again and be able to help it heal. So sorry that something like that happened to you, it's never excusable but at least he was able to grow and realize what he had done in the past. Thanks for sharing.

Testosterone
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 2/10/2011 2:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Being able to say I forgive you and mean it is a beautiful feeling. I'm glad you finally got to put that piece of your life behind you.

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16384
   Posted 2/10/2011 2:21 PM (GMT -6)   
RM, what a wonderful thing to happen for you and your friend. Like you said, those other people involved were not your friend like this guy. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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