Posted 2/20/2011 6:03 AM (GMT -6)
The surgery went well, things begin to look up, and then I overdo it and all the progress made goes right back to before.
The surgeon thinks he got every piece of ovarian tissue this time, but he thought that last time too. The bad news is long, so I apologize in advance.
The adhesions in my pelvis are worse than last February's surgery. Doc cleaned all he could out in February 2010 only to open me 2 weeks ago to find more adhesions than last time and going much higher toward my stomach and lungs. Still waiting on pathology tests on the adhesion tissue. He is thinking endometriosis reforming from endo tissue left in the other adhesions. We are running out of laparoscopy incision sites. Each time he goes in the adhesions form behind it badly enough to require a new access point. I will need to have surgery periodically to remove the adhesions or eventually lose function. They don't know how much or how long it will take, but with the rapid reformation I had this past year it is almost certain that the adhesions will continue and solidify if I am not careful.
So I have to go on hormone therapy to buy more time before the ovarian remnant reappears. Which means happy days for my fiance and kids. At least I won't be crying like a baby at commercials and babies crying and craving pickles and peanut butter.
I was doing well in recovery and have had a set back. One incision has caused some nerve issues at a superficial level from the interior incision and stitch. At this point it is unclear if it is from infection or simply the stitch did not dissolve from adhesion formation. It feels like being burned when clothing touches it. I succumbed to a cold 3 days postop and it became an upper respiratory infection and I have antibiotics for that. Coughing and sneezing after abdominal surgery stinks.
Enough complaining now and getting to the good news! Online school is improving, and I got 99% and 98% on my last 2 tests! Mary Kay is beginning to pick up without me having to do any parties, and the wedding plans are coming along nicely. I have begun the crocheted silk shawls for my nieces and friend who are bridesmaids. One is just about complete, and I have 4 more to go! We are all wearing matching styles in different colors. Mine will be last and is in white. I am trying to behave and filling my hours with projects that can be done while resting. Then comes a weekend like this one where everything hit at once. It seems like we packed a months' worth of activity into one weekend. I am hurting too much to get more than an hour or two of sleep, and I still have today to get through. I am sure there are many who are in the same boat, and keeping up with my family is getting harder and harder.
The prospect of repeated surgeries is a hard one to swallow. Each time it seems like my recovery takes longer and I feel unlike myself for a longer period of time. I am being reminded by many that my job right now is to heal, but I think that for some with CP who feel or know that they will never "heal", that is a struggle. It is difficult to explain to someone that I will never be normal again and that each day is filled with pain and making decisions on what I can or cant do. I hate the saying that the only reason you can't do something is because you told yourself you can't. Whoever came up with that has never been in so much pain that lying in the fetal position is the only thing possible and simply going to the bathroom is enough to exhaust you.