Posted 2/21/2011 6:49 PM (GMT -7)
I'm going to call around tomorrow and try to find a pain clinic that accepts my insurance. I don't know if I'll need a referral or not, I guess I'll find that out tomorrow. And yes, I've found comfort in talking to the people on this site as well! Nobody can truly understand unless they've gone through it themselves!!! It gets depressing being so young and having to deal with this! I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old, as well as 2 step children (ages 10 and 7)... My mom and most of my family live a hour and a half away so it'd be hard for them to help as much as I'd need them to. But my fiancee would help for sure. Its just hard because I take care of 4 kids and my 2 disabled in laws that live with us, they need constant care and I take care of them because I have medical training, I was in school for nursing but have temporarily dropped out due to my back problems, depression, epilepsy, and bi polar and panic attacks. It all was just very overwhelming. I've got all my other conditions under control due to my meds and weekly therapy, but my back keeps me from doing a lot! I used to be so active and outgoing, I've worked since I was 14, and now I've been forced to apply for social security! Its very depressing! I have a lot of resentment towards my parents because doctors have told them since I was a baby that my back was abnormal. They suggested I at least get a brace when I was developing, but my parents didn't even do that. Now, at age 25, my surgeon told me, if they had made me wear a brace for a year, my back wouldn't have gotten as bad as it did. Plus, going through the 2 pregnancies made it worse... Each labor, when I got my epidural, they had to keep taking it out and replacing it because the area the catheter needed to be in was too tight to allow it to get there, so it took 2-3 times in both labors. After my 2nd child was born, my ob-gyn told me he doesn't suggest I have any more children! And that broke my heart because I want 1 more baby! But it seems hopeless now due to all my medical problems and all the meds I have to be on! With the bi polar, if I came off my meds, it would be really bad and I'd be manic as hell, then depressed, then manic again. Its a very horrible disease to live with! Without medication, it'll ruin your life!
Bi Polar 1
Anxiety/ Panic disorder
Major depressive disorder
Scoliosis/ Degenerative disc disorder
Lamictal 300mg daily
Seroquel 300mg daily
Klonopin 0.5mg as needed
Xanax 1mg as needed
Vicodine 750mg as needed
"Never settle for less than you deserve, have the courage to walk away when you know you should, live with a purpose, love with passion, fight with all you have, know what you're worth, embrace your potential, understand the odds, learn the rules, then.... conquer the impossible"