At my breaking point

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SoSickAndTired
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 226
   Posted 2/21/2011 4:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm in pain every single day of my life, it's something I've learned to live with. I have scoliosis and degenerative disc disorder... I'm only 25 years old and have the back of an old woman... Scoliosis runs in my family, but I have the worst case of it out of all my family members. I need spinal fusion surgery, but I have small children, so it's not a good idea to have it done now, I'll be out of commission for too long! Anyways, I slipped and fell on a patch of ice a couple weeks ago and the pain has gotten worse and worse everyday since! It started in my hip and has gradually worked it's way up my spine.. It feels like my spine is made of knives that are just grinding against eachother... Or like each vertebrae is made of rocks, with no cushion in between!!! I'm at the point now that I need help getting up and I'm walking hunched over like an old woman. Laying down hurts, sitting up hurts, walking hurts... Every little movement hurts, but, even if I lay completely still... It STILL HURTS!!! I can't take it anymore.
Bi Polar 1
Anxiety/ Panic disorder
Major depressive disorder
Epilepsy
Scoliosis/ Degenerative disc disorder

Meds:
Lamictal 300mg daily
Seroquel 300mg daily
Klonopin 0.5mg as needed
Xanax 1mg as needed
Vicodine 750mg as needed


"Never settle for less than you deserve, have the courage to walk away when you know you should, live with a purpose, love with passion, fight with all you have, know what you're worth, embrace your potential, understand the odds, learn the rules, then.... conquer the impossible"

cogito
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 2/21/2011 5:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi SoSickAndTired,

You listed your meds, I assume the last is Vicodin and you probably meant 7.5mg vs 750mg. Anyhow, I don't see any time-release meds listed, nor any opioid stronger than the Vicodin (hydrocodone).

Perhaps you should discuss with your PM a time-release option such as Ultram ER, oxycontin or kadian.
C4-T4 Scoliosis (disk degeneration, stenosis, narrowed neuroforamen, bone spurs)
RT hip and SI joint damage from car accident
Current meds: Ultram ER 300mg daily, breakthrough - hydrocodone 10-15mg, or oxycodone 5-7.5mg. .5mg ativan as needed for sleep.

SoSickAndTired
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 226
   Posted 2/21/2011 6:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm scared of oxycontin, I know how addictive they are. I never heard of the other 2 you've listed... As of right now, the vicodine is the only pain med I'm prescribed, but I haven't asked for anything else. Are the other 2 meds you listed opioids?
Bi Polar 1
Anxiety/ Panic disorder
Major depressive disorder
Epilepsy
Scoliosis/ Degenerative disc disorder

Meds:
Lamictal 300mg daily
Seroquel 300mg daily
Klonopin 0.5mg as needed
Xanax 1mg as needed
Vicodine 750mg as needed


"Never settle for less than you deserve, have the courage to walk away when you know you should, live with a purpose, love with passion, fight with all you have, know what you're worth, embrace your potential, understand the odds, learn the rules, then.... conquer the impossible"

cogito
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 2/21/2011 7:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes they are. Ultram (tramadol) is considered weaker than vicodin, though it sometimes works better for nerve pain. It is also prescribed off-label for depression as it is supposed to increase serotonin levels. But that may be a problem for you. Your anti-depressants are not the standard SSRI's or SNRI's, but if they increase serotonin too, the Ultram could be dangerous. But still, you should address this with your doctor.

Kadian is time-release morphine.
There is also oxymorphone (Opana ER) as another time release option.

Talk to your pain doctor and see what he thinks would be best given your other meds and issues. If you're seeing a psychiatrist but don't have a designated pain management doctor, perhaps your psychiatrist can set you up to see one to explore options.

Perhaps you should also talk with your psychiatrist about your worries regarding addiction. We certainly become chemically dependent on our opioids. But addiction (as I view it) is when you've adopted a pattern of trying to get that drugged feeling for its own sake, not to help you manage your pain so you can get more out of your day.

Also, if you use oxycontin, at a low enough dose, it could help with the pain without having any mind-altering effect like immediate release opioids do. In theory, at least, your time-release drugs doses could be set low enough to help with the pain but not make you feel drugged.
C4-T4 Scoliosis (disk degeneration, stenosis, narrowed neuroforamen, bone spurs)
RT hip and SI joint damage from car accident
Current meds: Ultram ER 300mg daily, breakthrough - hydrocodone 10-15mg, or oxycodone 5-7.5mg. .5mg ativan as needed for sleep.

damgalnuna
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 2/21/2011 7:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome SoSickAndTired,

My medical history is very similar to yours. Did you ever have a fusion for the scoliosis? I did when I was twelve, but the discs below the fusion degraded to the point where the chronic severe pain was no longer bearable, even with the pain meds. I too have a small child at home -- a three year old -- but I've decided to go through with fusing the rest of my lumbar spine. I can no longer live with the pain nor can I function on the amount of pain medication it would require to control the pain. Do you have a spouse and/or family members who could help you with your children if you ever did choose to have surgery? I never thought that I'd be able to make it work, but it was amazing how the pieces seemed to fall into place once I finally made that difficult decision.
Scoliosis fusion w/rods (92); herniated disc (96); partial removal of rods (97); microdiscectomy (97); pain worsened (08) when my kid was 15mo old; tried many non-surgical treatments with limited benefit; surgery scheduled for 3/1/11

SoSickAndTired
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 226
   Posted 2/21/2011 7:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I've never had it done before , but the surgeon told me because of the severity of the curvature that the surgery could possibly make it worse. That's what's holding me back. I don't have a pain doctor and my primary doctor only gives me vicodine. So, I need to look for a pain doctor and get something stronger. I'm just concerned that if they give me something else, they'll take me off the vicodine. I hate to say it, but I've become dependent to it. I don't abuse it, nor do I take it to feel high. My primary doc only gives me a supply enough for 2 per day, and that's just not enough!!! Even taking those don't take the pain away! My father in law gives me some of his so that when I'm really hurting, I'll have more so I can take an extra one, but, that's not seeming to work either. And if I don't have them, I'm sick, I go through withdrawl... I'm so stiff and sore. So like I said, I need a pain doctor, so I'm going to look for one in my area.
Bi Polar 1
Anxiety/ Panic disorder
Major depressive disorder
Epilepsy
Scoliosis/ Degenerative disc disorder

Meds:
Lamictal 300mg daily
Seroquel 300mg daily
Klonopin 0.5mg as needed
Xanax 1mg as needed
Vicodine 750mg as needed


"Never settle for less than you deserve, have the courage to walk away when you know you should, live with a purpose, love with passion, fight with all you have, know what you're worth, embrace your potential, understand the odds, learn the rules, then.... conquer the impossible"

stumped by pain
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 2/21/2011 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi sickand tired....
please do find a Pain Doc. I have degenitive disc and have had two sugerys first one with a 6 yr old and a fusion in 08.
My primary care doc told me he wasnt comfortable treating me and im grateful he was stright up about it cause sweety 2vicodine a day anit gonna do nothing for me. I have been taking them for so long that they no longer work at all and i have had to move to other meds for some kind of tempary relief.
Please get some more info on your condition and ask friends family to help while your down if you deside to do the fussion.
I m back in shape your in it hurts just to lay veryyy still. sit for 15mins and so forth...beat you know.
Im still learning about this CP an most days r painful and long but here i have found some really caring folks and so folks that knw what there talking about not just someone tring to make you feel better. Im glad for that as funny as it sounds.
I hope you find someone that will see you asap.
as ive been told
hugs
stumped by pain

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/21/2011 8:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello

I am so sorry for your pain. I can almost feel what you are describing in your post and it is horrible. Please, please, please find a good pain management Dr. I have serious back issues and only mild scolosis, but my fusion did not do so well. None the less, the PM (Pain Dr) I see has done wonders for me. He does nerve ablations (burning of nerves) and he also prescribes pain meds.

I freaked when he prescribed me Oxy IR (oxycodone instant relief) because of the stigma of oxycontin...and I wouldn't even take it for a few days because of my fear. I gave up and OMG it has done wonders for me!!!! I thought because I was on Ultracet (tramadol/tylonol) and dilaudid (hydrocodone) that I was going to have no success and I was terrified they would take away the dilaudid because it was what I was relying on to live. It turns out I was so wrong and the PM was so right when he told me that I should give it a chance. It gives me a quality of life back and boy did I need it. I'm still in pain....don't get me wrong, but I needed a life. Please give yourself a chance too. A good pain management Dr and a good psychiatrist are a Godsend for me and may help for you.

All my best!
Failed fusion L5-S1, Pituatary damage, HGH Def, Fibro, Bladder surgery failure, Nissen Failure, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CTS (Bilateral Surgery completed), CFS, TMJ, Migraines, Vit D, A, Magnesium deficiency, Pre-glaucomic (sp?), HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia, Edema, too many Drug/Food allergies, sensitivites, and current meds to list.

SoSickAndTired
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 226
   Posted 2/21/2011 8:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm going to call around tomorrow and try to find a pain clinic that accepts my insurance. I don't know if I'll need a referral or not, I guess I'll find that out tomorrow. And yes, I've found comfort in talking to the people on this site as well! Nobody can truly understand unless they've gone through it themselves!!! It gets depressing being so young and having to deal with this! I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old, as well as 2 step children (ages 10 and 7)... My mom and most of my family live a hour and a half away so it'd be hard for them to help as much as I'd need them to. But my fiancee would help for sure. Its just hard because I take care of 4 kids and my 2 disabled in laws that live with us, they need constant care and I take care of them because I have medical training, I was in school for nursing but have temporarily dropped out due to my back problems, depression, epilepsy, and bi polar and panic attacks. It all was just very overwhelming. I've got all my other conditions under control due to my meds and weekly therapy, but my back keeps me from doing a lot! I used to be so active and outgoing, I've worked since I was 14, and now I've been forced to apply for social security! Its very depressing! I have a lot of resentment towards my parents because doctors have told them since I was a baby that my back was abnormal. They suggested I at least get a brace when I was developing, but my parents didn't even do that. Now, at age 25, my surgeon told me, if they had made me wear a brace for a year, my back wouldn't have gotten as bad as it did. Plus, going through the 2 pregnancies made it worse... Each labor, when I got my epidural, they had to keep taking it out and replacing it because the area the catheter needed to be in was too tight to allow it to get there, so it took 2-3 times in both labors. After my 2nd child was born, my ob-gyn told me he doesn't suggest I have any more children! And that broke my heart because I want 1 more baby! But it seems hopeless now due to all my medical problems and all the meds I have to be on! With the bi polar, if I came off my meds, it would be really bad and I'd be manic as hell, then depressed, then manic again. Its a very horrible disease to live with! Without medication, it'll ruin your life!
Bi Polar 1
Anxiety/ Panic disorder
Major depressive disorder
Epilepsy
Scoliosis/ Degenerative disc disorder

Meds:
Lamictal 300mg daily
Seroquel 300mg daily
Klonopin 0.5mg as needed
Xanax 1mg as needed
Vicodine 750mg as needed


"Never settle for less than you deserve, have the courage to walk away when you know you should, live with a purpose, love with passion, fight with all you have, know what you're worth, embrace your potential, understand the odds, learn the rules, then.... conquer the impossible"

tlily2
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 2/22/2011 12:30 AM (GMT -6)   
OMG, your pain must be horrendous. I'm just can't imagine your pain and with young children. I'm just speechless. I'm praying you get help and relief. Do you get help from your mom or grandmom or family? I'll keep you in my positive thoughts as well.
tlily

SoSickAndTired
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 226
   Posted 2/22/2011 12:39 AM (GMT -6)   
My family all lives over a hour away from me, so no, not really. And thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I'm going to start looking for a pain doctor tomorrow.
Bi Polar 1
Anxiety/ Panic disorder
Major depressive disorder
Epilepsy
Scoliosis/ Degenerative disc disorder

Meds:
Lamictal 300mg daily
Seroquel 300mg daily
Klonopin 0.5mg as needed
Xanax 1mg as needed
Vicodine 750mg as needed


"Never settle for less than you deserve, have the courage to walk away when you know you should, live with a purpose, love with passion, fight with all you have, know what you're worth, embrace your potential, understand the odds, learn the rules, then.... conquer the impossible"
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