So I had lots of pain yesterday and finally fell asleep on the couch. My husband was taking the kids to the eye dr. since he was off from work. Well we haven't been"close" at all lately all coming from his part. Anyways, I asked him if they were going to be late , so he yells at me "I don't even know why they woke you up." So I ask what his problem is..I'm getting ready to take our oldest son to go get a car so he has it for college and work and stops leaving me without a car throughout the week after i get home from work.Some how it leads to... He makes some other nasty comments about
why he's not "close" to me, all my fault things. If you showered more or whatever.Ok, just to say I shower all the time..he works nights how would he know. So he's saying I smell? I mean what the H**L!! I am crying right now writing this. It hurts so bad. I feel unwanted,ignored, and disgusting
So I lash back about
some hussy he cheated on me with when we first dated and how riddled with infection she was. Then I went to far and told him maybe he was gay like his uncles. I have honestly thought that. I've suspected cheating but he is an
open book. You could go through anything of his, call anytime, comes home when he's suppose to.
This is so immbarrassing saying it. Anyone who personally knows me, I couldn't tell this to. If he and i end up ok, they would constantly be thinking about
what he said.
I have gone on this 17 day diet and lost 14 1/2 # in the last 17 days..today i start the 2nd 17 days. I went and had my hair done, including highlights(even though it killed my neck and back sitting in the chairs so long) all in hopes to spark something..now he says this. He's been gone for about
4 hours now and just called me to ask if I'm still mad and do i need anything from the store. All i could say was nope and hang up. What do i do. This is aggrivating my pain levels at this moment. Recently i suggested counseling and he said sure but our schedules are so off i haven't found a time to go. I hate this though. We have been together off and on since junior high school.I feel like I want this more than he does! I don't want my marriage to fall apart but i am lonely, sad, and in pain.Thanks Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6
DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Rhuematoid arthritis and Osteoarthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: , Cymbalta, , Hydrocodone 5/350,Hydrocodone 7.5/Nabumetone,thyroid med, vitamin D, Iron,methocarbamol,muscle relaxer,
Mother to 5 wonderfull kids.
Allow me to be strong just another day.