Family Support?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 3/8/2011 10:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Right now I live alone and am in a state where I have no family or friends basically. I moved here 2 years ago from MI because the cold and winter is so hard on my pain level. I have rsd and pn. Well in FL I have been really struggling with the humid and hot weather more so in the long summers. I am swelling and the pain increases. Mentally I am under the care of psychs but really struggling. I have had my condition 4 years and seen every specialist and tried many treatments and the pain is so high. I am now thinking of moving back to MI to at least be in my hometown and near my mom. We don't live together but even getting together 1 time a week or knowing she is near may help my moral? I am conflicted cause I know winters are ruff.I had thought of trying a new state that is more mild but I had tried CA and then FL. CA the doctors thought contributed to my eye condition though I still have it in FL and FL is so humid so I feel a new place may also have some issues. Also I really wonder how being away from family is when struggling in such a condition.  Any thoughts or suggestions?

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 3/8/2011 11:38 AM (GMT -6)   

   Dear JC,

     Good morning :-)   I hope you were able to get some rest last night. You have been through quite a bit and I cannot blame you one bit for contemplating moving again. My husbands family is in Florida and we visit often for 2 and 3 week stretches. Florida is almost unbearable unless you go there during winter months. The heat and moisture being so high it is very painful for me to visit. The constant storms make it unbearable. I am very surprised that you moved there with such painful conditions. Perhaps a more dry climate with consistent seasons would be better. Midwest region.

    Family support, I think, is very important. Seems to be in any case. I do not have family of my own, but I know many members here at Healing Well do. They depend on their families a great deal to help with their painful conditions. In fact I am often times jealous! Truth be told. Always wondering what that would be like. I imagine what a grumpy, not supportive family would be like and even that sounds appealing! I am looking forward to being that support person for my daughters when they grow up. I just cannot blame you one bit for wanting that weekly visit and lunch with your mom. Let alone the normalcy and comfort of being somewhere that you are comfortable with.

    My husband is always talking about moving. Even hinting at move half across the world. I always say," I don't mind. No matter where I go I will still have my progressive deformities.". By that I mean, though moving may help one or two aspect of my pain, it will inevitably make one or two aspects worse. Does that makes sense? No matter where I go I will be in pain. Nothing is going to change that. It is the same for you. It may help one aspect but you will always be in pain no matter where you go. For you, it is just a matter of what you are willing to trade in your own life. What compromise will make your life truly easier or worse.

     Try to stay inside as much as you can. Your Floridians have to use refrigerated air 24/7. Just a simple walk to your car between the months of April to October is enough to knock you out. Know you are in our hearts here.


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2265
   Posted 3/8/2011 11:59 PM (GMT -6)   

I'm glad to see that you found us and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I know what you mean about having your family around. I live in western New York and my family lives close to Nashville in Tennessee. I miss them so much that I just cry sometimes. I get really depressed. We moved away back in 1996 and I've been wanting to move back ever since, but we can't afford to move. I wish so much that we could move back. Everything is so expensive there now than it was back when we lived there. I didn research and it's terrible. Anyway enough about me. I really hope you find the support that you're seeking from us. There are wonderful sweet people here that you can't have anywhere else.

Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 230
   Posted 3/9/2011 12:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh I know what you mean JC! I really do. I long for the mountains near the coastal town I used to call home back in CA. I hate it out here in the high desert. Every year I am here I feel more and more like I need to leave.
While we don't have your humidity, we have heat, and we have cold. Granted not cold like alot of those folks in the north-east get, but we get at least one good snow day a year; this year we got 7" of snow ... if you get snow, it's too cold! At least with the cold I can layer up, or bundle up some how. More blankets, a bed warmer, heavy coats, sweaters, gloves, furry boats; I can wear half my wardrobe if I need to so I stay warm.
But the heat. Oh the merciless heat of the high desert! I live an hour from Las Vegas, in Nevada's high desert. Our summer's average 114. While we don't have humidity it's enough to make you feel like you should stand on a spinning platform and become a human rotiserie.  turn   Oh how I can't abide the heat. In my book the heat is worse then the cold. It doesn't hurt like the cold ... it hurt's in it's own unique way, and it makes my skin sensative to the touch because it becomes so swollen. You can always put on more layers in the winter, but in the summer you can strip down to your birthday suit and still be to hot to want to move! Leaving the house isn't an option for me, not unless the sun is down. I spend almost all my time in the house or in a pool, just trying to stay cool.
I think one of the things that keeps me here though is my family. I think if I moved back to California, at least I have family near by that would help out provided I lived close enough near them, but otherwise I would effectively be stranding myself. Probably not the best idea for me currently. Family can mean alot though, even, as you said, if you only see them once a week.
Perhaps an extended vacation? Go "home" for a little while to see if that's truely where you want to be again. If it's only one season you have to worry about maybe you can share some tips or tricks with others here on how they combat that tempature. You need to do what's best for you. *hugs*
Originally injured 10/26/2007 - Initial diagnosis; Tendonitis
Spent next year seeing specialist after specialist; Bone, Muscle, Hand, Neurologist, Chriopractor, Physical Therapist...
Went through a battery of tests, multiple MRI's
11/16/09 I was finally diagnosed CRPS - Stage 2
Permanently disabled, on Percoset.
February 2011 successful SCSU trial
No surgeon willing to do my SCSU Implant

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 3/9/2011 5:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for your replies and support. I know there is no perfect with conditions that cause such severe pain. I just feel so drained from every aspect of this conditions and lack of pain control even through so much treatments etc.
I think at this point I am leaning to going to MI. The winter is going to be bad but I think being in a familiar area plus having my mom near is better. Plus the weather for some months are way better to me then FL. People think FL is a great place for pain but there is no escaping the humidity. Even inside you feel sticky and now that I swell it is even worse.
Thank you for your welcome and advice.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 3/9/2011 9:30 PM (GMT -6)   
JC - was it you who posted a question on Yahoo by any chance? Your story sounds very familiar to me. I too have CRPS/RSD. In your shoes, I think I would move to be near my family. Both weather extremes flare your pain, but at least in MI you have your mom near you where she can provide moral, if not physical support as well.

I know that the heat and humidity here (SE Australia) is terrible for me. We have 40's C in summer and this year have had humidity up around 90% and I've swelled this year like never before. Our winters are nowhere near as cold as yours must be in MI (even in the coldest of winters here, the daytime temps are above 0 C) and that is terribly painful - but at least I can mostly stay inside and crank the heater up or light the fire. Not sure what your mom's situation is, but is she able to help you out with shopping or whatever if the cold is too much for you to get out?

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 3/10/2011 6:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey well I posted about weather but not about moving near family on yahoo. The part of MI I am from it is above 0 but very cold. I am not sure the highs and lows but maybe 30 and 15 for average in the winter but a lot of snow. The nice thing in MI is I will be afford more like a home rental vs an apt in FL cause the cost of living is more. I am scared regardless. Just trying to think of it for 1 year and if things are bad will move again. Ugh. Thanks again

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 230
   Posted 3/10/2011 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Combatting the cold will be easier then combatting humidity and heat. Like I mentioned in my last post: you can only take off so much clothing, and you'll still be hot. Unless you're willing to risk an outrageous electric bill to keep the AC up high enough so you're comfortable, all you can really do is grit your teeth and hope summer's over soon.
In winter you can add blankets. Down comforters, eletric blankets, mattress warmers (I love mine), flannel sheets. Winter layers of clothes as well. Sweaters, gloves... I wear my gloves, little fingerless crochet ones, around the house. The fingerless allows me to use my fingers for whatever I'm doing, but help keep my hands warms, especially my wrist. I think you'll be able to handle the winter better back "home" better then the humidity and heat of Florida.
Remember, think positive!
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