Today I woke up particularly stiff, with a dull ache in a lot of places, but comparatively a much better day than what I have had recently. I had kids to get up and off to school and a Dr's appt at 8am. After that I had 50 minutes to get some coffee, an egg from somewhere I can eat, take pain meds because my joints were beginning to wake up and talk to me.
I went in for the "pain psyD" at 10:00. While I was there I classified my pain as a 3. Lots of "nuisance" aches in my back and hips and shoulders, knees and feet. I had more immediate pain in my elbows and wrists and fingers and a headache that was developing behind my eyes.
I explained what was going on in my fingers like a constant ache, then it would shoot-sharp-pain-pain-pain-pain-pain, then fade, pain, fade, pain, fade and gone to ache. and go on and on like that. Elbow less often than fingers that would take my attention off what I was saying as I suck in my breath and hold till it fades.
All that together I call a three.
I drove home and thought "wow, I have an hour to chill before I have to get going again." Then I got a phone call. I need to come into the realtor's office and sign paperwork today so it really has to be now. Out the door again. Realtor's office, bank, fast-food drive through and sit in front of my child's school to eat it.
My mother called. Do I ever think I will come over to her house to "hang out". We have lived in the same town for 9 years and it hasn't happened yet and the new house is 6 blocks from hers and does that mean that I might come over and spend some time with her in her house each day? And am I really sure that my eldest daughter has bipolar- or are we just making too big of a deal of normal teenage girl stuff? Does she really need to see a counselor EVERY week, or can she just skip it sometimes? She heard that if you eat 3 boxes of jello a day (prepared) it can "cure" arthritis, and why won't I just TRY it? While I talked to her I didn't eat the food sitting in my lap. Now I have cold french fries, warm salad and melted ice cream. Thanks, yuck.
Pick up my daughter and drive her to physical therapy for 45 minutes (knee injury) and then directly to her counselor's office for a 1 hour session. Sitting, standing, walking, getting into and out of the car was all much more stiff and sore than usual, especially as the day wore on. Leave from there and pick up dude from church who needs a ride tonight.
Stop at Dairy Queen and get dinner and ice cream for everyone while I eat a salad. My husband and my 2 younger girls meet us there. As I sit and eat the salad I go from nuisance sore to "pay attention to me" dull ache. My back, my ribs, my shoulders, my knees, and feet all join in.
As I drive to the church I have to focus on my driving skills because the pain of gripping the steering wheel is drawing my attention from the road. My hands on the wheel feels like I am pulling my elbows apart. Med check: 800mg MO hour ago, 1200mg TYL 3 hours ago. Next step is vicodin, but I can't do that when I have to drive.
I went into the church and found the seats moved around into stations and a circle in the middle. I see participation and moving from place to place. I sat down and my back hurt, my knees hurt, my elbows and shoulders hurt, my neck and jaw hurt (I was gritting my teeth, don't know how long before I noticed it). AND I found out that I had been asked to be a "reader". I got nauseous.
I'm going downhill and I need to go home and take the vicodin. I can't stay, because I need the car for tomorrow, so I can't leave it at church, and I'm not going to have a spiritual experience while I am thinking about not getting sick in the church. Thanks but no thanks. 6:30, I'm going home.
So I drove home, paying close attention to safely driving in traffic, focusing my attention to the street.
I took 2 vicodin (max dose for me right now) and my nightly medications including my Wednesday night methotrexate. I'm writing this because I have to get it out of my system and feel like someone understands what the day was like for me.
My eyes are kind of heavy, and my stomach is worse because of the MTX, my back still hurts laying in bed, and my fingers/wrists/elbows think typing is dumb, but I am in bed and I will be asleep soon, so I will feel fine.
Tomorrow I have a vision exam at 9:00 where I have to have my eyes dilated. My husband will drive me home, but he has to go to his class at 11, so he cannot drive me to my PM appt at 12:00. I'm hoping my eyes will be good enough to allow me to drive with dark sunglasses by then. I think that the hard day was, in part, caused by pushing too much after having a flair when I ate chinese food with gluten in it on Friday. I still have GI symptoms, so I should expect less energy and more pain and less tolerance for a few more days at least. I had a hard day of side effects last Thursday and I am afraid that I am expecting annother one tomorrow.
Had to get the day out somehow. My husband isn't one to hear it right now. (more drama than I care to include right now) It gives a bit of closure for me to vent it all to you. Thanks.