I'm so glad you're here, Fyrfli. This is a wonderful place to come and talk with others, about many aspects of what we all deal with.
ScreamingEagle is very right, in that frequently by hiding your pain you are shutting your family, especially your spouse, out of your life. I know from my own personal experience that I put on my brave face and hid my pain for a number of reason. I didn't like getting accused of whining or appearing weak. But that was only when I went out around strangers and around friends. My close friends know the truth, to an extent.
My son is the tough one. He's already very protective of me, but I don't need to cause undo worry. However when he does forget about Momma's bad arm then he can be to rough on me, or get frustrated when I can't do things with him he really wants to do. Only then do I remind him of my bad arm.
Your spouse is another matter though. Your front line of support needs to know what's going on with you, the good days, the bad days. It's hard not to let pain govern our lives, but to make it easier we need to remember how to smile, and find those things we can do that don't cause pain that we can enjoy with that special someone in our life. Would you like it if you knew something was wrong with him but he didn't say anything to you about it? Shutting someone out, even if it's only one aspect of our lives, is still shutting someone out.
Also by not knowing when you're having a bad day you're hurting yourself by cutting yourself off from your number 1 support person. How can he help you, even if by nothing more then holding you and letting you cry when you're frustrated or hurting, if you keep him in the dark all the time?
You're not a cold person, on the contrary, you're a very loving and caring person; you are obviously trying to spare your loved ones from having to feel helpless because they can't do anything for you. But they can do things for you, but they have to know. They will not think less of you for being honest and open with them. I don't think your husband meant to hurt you with his words, that's just how he's feeling; hurt that his wife is shutting him out, when all he probably wants to do is help.
Originally injured 10/26/2007 - Initial diagnosis; Tendonitis
Spent next year seeing specialist after specialist; Bone, Muscle, Hand, Neurologist, Chriopractor, Physical Therapist...
Went through a battery of tests, multiple MRI's
11/16/09 I was finally diagnosed CRPS - Stage 2
Permanently disabled, on Percoset.
February 2011 successful SCSU trial
No surgeon willing to do my SCSU Implant