Thanks to _Christina, Pebbles225, damouthy1, Screaming Eagle, Mrs Dani, straydog, NiNi53 and Betsey, for such a warm welcome.
Let me work my way through your comments:
Christina said...What you said about the grieving process got me thinking -- I'm not sure I have actually grieved, and maybe I'll need to, but for now, I'm still hopeful that things will improve enough for me to become more functional than I am now. Perhaps that's a bit delusional or unrealistic, but I can't quite let go of the idea that there's light at the end of this tunnel.
I wanted to respond to the "reclassification " of your self image. Not that I have anything substantial to add because I am right there with you.
I always assumed that I would be working, but now that would be simply impossible. I have been at home since 2008. I went through the whole grieving process for the loss of my old life, and am just now coming to terms with that is gone and that's going to be OK. What I don't have down yet is what is it going to be like from here on out.
For me it keeps changing because my pain level increased over the last year or so to overshadow my bipolar issues (not that they are gone by any means) and I am just now getting to a PM to manage my joint pain. It's not under control yet, but I hold out hope that one day it will be and I can come up with a "normal for me".
I think one of the hardest things about this is that I genuinely loved my work. Kind of hated my workplace (but that's another story), but I really liked the work I did and the freelance work I was able to do outside of my actual job. Since this started, I've done some small freelance jobs, but it's been so difficult to focus my mind that I get frustrated.
It doesn't help that the anaesthetic they gave me when I had my cervical surgery has left me with a bit of aphasia -- not a good thing for some who makes her living writing, editing and speaking in public. So if I ever write the wrong word, chalk it up to a misfired circuit in my brain.
Paula said...Wow. I never heard of a pain psychologist. I'm seeing my new PCP next week, and I'll add that to the things I need to talk to her about. I hope she's ready for a long session.
When you become a member of the "chronic pain community" your life changes dramatically. Your sense of self changes with it and you rebuild your identity from the ground up. A pain psychologist can really help you with that if you are struggling with it. Your PM or PCP can refer you to one.
Shannon -- I hope you're recuperating well. I know in my experience -- and this may just be me -- the fibro slows everything down -- so when they say the recuperation is, say, two months... I double it.
Screaming Eagle -- NOW I see the checkbox! I was pretty out of it yesterday, between pain and pain killers, and I somehow never even noticed it. Thanks. Let's hope this works properly. (By the way, I notice many people include their conditions and meds, so that's what I've done with mine. I may add a quote as well in the future -- something positive and uplifting.
Mrs. Dani -- I must say I really admire you. Did a bit of exploring in the community and stumbled on your history -- you are an inspiration.
Which sort of brings up a problem I have that maybe someone can offer some advice with: I detest pity. Any suggestions for how to deal with people who are clearly pitying you? I try to stay upbeat when I see people (If they ask how I am, I always say, "Much better, thanks!"). My feeling is that everyone faces some hurdle in their life, and this happens to be mine, but some people seem determined to feel sorry for me.
straydog said...Yes, it was a local referral service. I suppose I could call back and try again. I keep seeing TV ads for lawyers who handle this kind of thing, but I'm leery of contacting anyone who advertises on TV... although an attorney friend of mine (different state, different specialty) says that advertising is starting to lose its stigma.
Was the referral service you called for local attys in your town? You may want to look online at the state bar association, they usually have a referral service. Keep looking don't give up on your search.
Thanks, NiNi53, for the kind wishes. Hang in there with the laptop. One of the many things I've done over the years is teach plain-language basic computer skills to seniors and people with computer phobias, so if there's any advice I can give, let me know.
And thanks for the soft hugs, Betsey.
DX: Fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, spinal stenosis & compression, bulging disks, headache, facet joint pain, tendonitis. MEDS: Lyrica, Celebrex, amitriptyline, hydrocodone, oxycodone