After all the very hard blows from my doctors have been grateful to loose myself in Easter preparations. Birthday plans for my husband. He has a sweet tooth so cinnamon peanut brittle, butter cups and a new recipe I have tried 2 times now to get right. It is espresso candy bars with espresso buttercream and chocolate covered coffee beans. I had a thought that if it goes well I might include it in the Christmas baskets this year. I love making candy but my back is screaming.
The girls classrooms are all getting candies and chocolates as well. Each of them has 4 friends they want me to make charm jewelry sets for. I have many little butterfly, bumblebee, dragonfly and flower charms. Swarovski crystals over every color imaginable. I have been trying to get that done late at night. I hope they like their Easter gifts. Easter of course comes with quite a bit of preparation just for the family, but it is always so much fun baking and cooking with my little Bumblebees. I always laugh that soon they will be better cooks than I am. It is hard to remember to pace myself. Partly because I am eager to dive into a project and also, selfishly, I am eager to distract my mind.
Pain wise... well, what can I say? I have had quite an increase in pain where the smallest deformity is, T2-T9. It looks like the part of my upper chest that sticks out on the upper left hand side, under my arm pit, is getting worse. Suppose there is no use worrying over it. June is my 6 month x-ray (I get MRIs the length of my spine each January and plain x-ray the length of my spine every June to measure my deformities). I suppose we will see then. Still I do hope this increase in pain will settle down soon or I can become accustomed to it quickly.
I have had another bout of pain deep in my right hand side. This lastest "bout" lasts 6 days. It is my understanding that this caused by my kidneys. It is very tiring when it comes. It seems none of my pain medications touch it at all. Heat helps tremendously. At first, over winter, this untouchable pain would only last a couple of days once or twice a month. No big deal. Now it lasts up words of a week. I cant deny that it has me a bit spooked. I know nothing of kidneys or what problems there mean except pain and terribly swollen legs. Thanks to a couple of tips from Betsey last night was okay. I was even able to fall asleep rather quickly.
My eyes are. Gosh, there I go again. When will I be able to just talk about it? Without crying? I have tried so many times and it ends up like it is now.. My friend told, "After everything you have been through, your spine deforming and all the pain, all your problems, your eyes are too much? You can get through this, look at everything else you've been through." He is right. I know in my heart he is right. ugh, see? there I go again. Crying. I hate to admit defeat but I have had to go back into therapy. I know, its just my eyes. It is just a hard part to swollow.
Heres hoping I can get the last of the jewelry done today.