helping a friend

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 816
   Posted 4/20/2011 2:08 PM (GMT -6)   
hello i am nini53, i joined this forum just about 1 and 1/2 months ago and have just loved it so much, but on to my story, my very best friend in the whole worlds husband was diagnosed with altheimers about 6 months ago, maybe longer.  all this time i have been saying to her, "you have to find a support group, you are tiring yourself and letting your own health go" he husband is steadily getting worse, she has only been able to say he has altzheimer in the last week or so.  just today as i spoke to her from yet another trip to the er i repeated to her how important it is to find a support group.  i just got on the cp forum this afternoon, and because im not having a good day did not stay on long.  after i left a bulb went off in my head, what better place for her than the somethimes i have gotten so wrapped with myself it took a sudden jolt to remind me of this place my daughter found for me. i will be giving her all the infor she needs when i speak to  her later today or tonight. i sometimes have to remind myself that i am by know means the only person suffering this world. i hope i remembeer this more often than i  have lately.
degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, neuropathy, lumbar laminectomy july 1998 no help, rechargeable neurostimulator unit low right back w/lead wires to left side and right leg unit not working just sitting there.i am 57 years young in may will turn 58. i have 2 grown daughters, 25 and 29. i have 2 grandchildren, 9 year old grandaughter and 5 yr. old grandson

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9661
   Posted 4/20/2011 3:55 PM (GMT -6)   
What you did was good, your a good friend, so give yourself credit for that.
Now make sure she hears you, and really gets help as she'll need it people
with Alzheimers can get mean and turn violent without knowing it, she'll
need help and support groups, if he's getting worse by the day...
Alzheimers is a wicked disease as it can take away a whole lifetime of
memories, it'll be so hard on your friend...My friend lost her father to it
in a matter of a few months..please see that she gets help...
well wishes to you and your friend
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2261
   Posted 4/20/2011 6:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Nini I'm so sorry to hear that your friend's husband has Alzheimers. I've heard that it's a really terrible disease. I haven't had any family or friends with it, so I don't know truly how it is. I have read a little about it and it looks like she would really need support and help too. Please get it to her that she really needs to get help and take care of herself. I've seen shows on PBS that the people were real alzheimers patients. It's so sad that anyone has to go thru that kind of disease. (((((((((((((((Nini))))))))))))))))

I will pray for you and your friend.

love and hugs
Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 4/20/2011 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   
My shrink had adviced me how good it was that I had a friend who also has chronic pain. Yet, somehow I didn't think of a support group until tonight. I've started to realize in the past months that I'm just not getting the support I need. You're so right, a light bulb went on. It seems the more pain I'm in the more isolated I become. I don't know if it's because I don't want to be around people, they don't want to be around me, or I just feel no one really understands what I'm going through. The latter is how I've really felt over the past few months. My friend is the only one that understands the daily battle with pain. I've become increasingly concerned with the escalated deterioration of my pain status. I guess I need to do less but I'm an active person my nature. So hopefully this group will help.
Joel idea

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 15831
   Posted 4/22/2011 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Joel, yes CP tends to isolate us if we let it. It is a condition that is misunderstood by many, mainly because unless there is a physical element to it that can be seen by the naked eye, people tend to not believe us.

Over doing it is something we all do. The best thing we can learn is to pace ourselves so we don't end up back to square one one in severe pain paying for what we did. After all these years I am still in the learning stage of pacing myself. I think a lot of it depends on what I am doing at the time.

However, staying as active as possible without causing more harm or damage to yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. Sometimes we need to change up how we once did things and find what works the best for us and thats ok too.

If you feel depression slipping in, don't let it take over, talk to your dr about it. Take care and keep us posted on how you are coming along.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 4/22/2011 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   


   Dear Nini,

    It is good to hear from you *hugg* How are you doing lately?  I hope you are doing well and able to enjoy spring a little bit. Today was beautiful here. I had gone outside to put ribbons on my husbands bike.. it was so nice I went back out to enjoy some coffee while the sun set.

     You are right, support groups are an important part of wellness. When I was nearing the end of my time in therapy (down to just wellness checks) she suggested I find a support group. Well after a few hit and misses, I found Healing Well. It has made all the difference in my life. I hope you friend finds her way here too. Or to any support group for that matter. She needs support and understanding too, just as much as her husband does.

     I hope you can relax and rest this weekend. Know we are thinking of you.


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
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