"For better or Worse, Sickness & Health... "

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 5/14/2011 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Good morning,

seems that there are a few horse injuries here. we do love our animals and there is nothing like being on them and nothing more heart breaking then to be told you can not ride again or risk being in a wheel chair.

I my husband was crush by a horse when it stumbled during a workout at the track, throwing him on his head and knocking him out as the horse rolled over on top of him. That was in the mid 70s. In '86 while breaking babies (it is hard to stop getting on them) he is throw in a freak accident. This finally ended him getting on horses.

2 surgeries in '87 & '95 have kept him from a wheel chair but not a day without some pain. Right now it is the head aches that are more debilitating then any of his back pain. We are working with a Pain clinic to see what can be done short of more surgery. They did an occipital injection yesterday. Set for a Botox at the end of the month to try to calm the neck muscles.

We have found over the yrs some supplements that help with controlling the inflammation and offset the effects of taking meds. They can take a toll on your system if you are not careful.

But as anyone in pain knows it is also about Coping. Days you have less pain and less coping and days with more pain and better coping.

As the wife/friend of the one in pain, it is important for any spouses to get on board with helping to make that persons day as good as it can be. Find those moments when you can enjoy somethings together because there may be days when you will be alone while they are hurting. We learn to be flexible in our plans because they have to be adjusted to work with the pain level for the day.

It is stressing to see the one you love hurt and not always easy for us to put on that happy face but if you talk and keep to lines of communication open you will make it thru. It is sad when I have seen those in pain abandoned by a mate. Don't get me wrong it is not always sunshine here but I can not imagine life without him or leaving him to deal with this alone. If it was me how would I feel?? If we put our selves in their place we will be able to make it work. We have had long talks about the toll this has had on me too and I really believe it is what is needed to make the best of a situation that will possible get worse as we get older.

We have learned to laugh at the thought... When I forget where I left him sitting in his wheel chair... Pain and old age are not for the faint of heart...

As I am typing this Jim has gone off to lay down because he didn't have a good night and needs to take a break. I can't imagine being without him though. so to all spouses of chronic pain people... remember why you fell in love.. that person is still there.. count your blessing every day :-)


Screaming Eagle
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 5/14/2011 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
aaaaahhhh! Yes! Thanks!....and if you want, you can combine your post in the future....just stick around...and you will catch on quickly!

Again Thank You for posting!


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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 816
   Posted 5/14/2011 10:54 AM (GMT -6)   
trying2cope2, that was the most touching testement to love and coping and hanging in there that I have ever read, how fortunate your husband is having you there by his side.  I am sure he is thankful everyday, just as you are thankful for having him by your side. 
You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Hoping he has low pain days and just keep hanging in there.
degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, neuropathy, lumbar laminectomy july 1998 no help, rechargeable neurostimulator unit low right back w/lead wires to left side and right leg unit not working just sitting there.i am 57 years young in may will turn 58. i have 2 grown daughters, 25 and 29. i have 2 grandchildren, 9 year old grandaughter and 5 yr. old grandson

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 5/14/2011 12:30 PM (GMT -6)   
hi NINI, thanks for the thoughts and prayers,

sorry to read about your Stim not working, they have been trying to put one in Jim for over 20 yrs but we are not considering it, to many with no results and now you are trying to get it removed. UF pain center is really pushing it, gonna tunnel thru & dissolve scar tissue to put one in. We went somewhere else..

we'll hope that you find some relief maybe try alternatives. Some work you just have to find what may you give you some relief.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2265
   Posted 5/14/2011 2:51 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Nini. What a heartfelt post of love and dedication. I am blessed to have a husband that is exactly like you. Welcome to the chronic pain forum trying2cope. You have found a wonderful group of people here. I hope your husband is having a low pain day. God bless you.

love and hugs
Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees
Meds: Fentanyl patch, oxycodone, otc: BenGay, Tylenol Arthritis on occasion

New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 5/14/2011 3:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi t2c2 (hope you don't mind the abbreviation or feel like a character from Star wars!),

Thank you so much for posting on my thread, you sound like an amazing person and I am very heartened to hear that has such wonderful support. I have been single for the best part of 7 years now and although I discovered that my degenerative condition has been a life-long problem my constant severe pain only started 4 years ago and I do sometimes wonder whether any man will now be willing to take me on!

I hope I do not sound self-pitying but I will give you an example, I went on a date a while back with a man who I thought I had a real connection with. No second date ensued however as his interests included mountain biking, hiking, camping etc and obviously he was looking for a partner that could share those activities with him.

I am lucky that I have a passion for academia, and hopefully one day I will meet a man who is content to discuss the meaning of life with me and then go and play a round of golf with some friends!

If I had been in a relationship when the extent of my disability was discovered I hope my partner would have been as caring, compassionate and supportive as you clearly have been. I am very lucky that I have had immense support from my family and friends, I quite literally would not be able to get through this without them. In some ways I think it is harder to see someone you love suffer than to bear that suffering yourself, I certainly know that has been the case for my parents on occasion.

I am sure you will find this forum a very rewarding place, I am a very new member and I have already got so much out of being here.

My very, very best wishes to you and your husband, your relationship gives me hope, that is such a gift and I thank you.
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