Chronic, constant pain bigger than I am. How do you do it?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 5/15/2011 9:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a multitude of illnesses, but currently I have stress fractures in my sacrum, hip-leg joint and multiples down both legs to the ankles. Another epi 2moro. 7 solid months with this newest disorder. Its not only cost me everything the constant pain and inability to go anywhere or walk leaves me feeling so invisible, empty and abandoned. I dont know how to do this, how to live like this every day. Tell me how you do it. Please.
"The world breaks everyone. Then some people become strong at the broken places". E.H.

"Out of suffering emerge the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars". K.G.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 5/15/2011 10:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I know that this will sound overly simple and maybe even a little korny but it is a matter of taking it moment by moment, day by day and learning how to be grateful for even the smallest of things.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16787
   Posted 5/15/2011 11:45 PM (GMT -6)   
BluAngel one thing I can honestly say that helped me learn how to live & cope with life changing illnesses was seeking help from a very good psychologist, one that is familiar with chronic health conditions. I just could not do it on my own, but again thats just me. I tried very hard to deal with it on my own and was unable to and stayed in so much denial. Then I became overwhelmed and finally I was having panic attacks.

Try to find small things to do that will help distract you and get your mind off of the pain. Even with CP we can enjoy doing things many of what we did before CP we just do it in a different way. I know it is real easy to find ourselves doing nothing but thinking about the pain and when we do that it seems to just magnify everything. On the day when your pain level is not off the scale use that to set small goals for yourself and do them one at a time.

Much of what Jim said above is so true. Take care.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 5/16/2011 12:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I have been suffering from chronic pain ever since I was 12 years old (I'm 21 now) and every year it gets worse. I have days where I feel empty and angry but what helps me is looking toward the future. I never got to do a lot of the things most teens experienced, most of my life was and is being bed ridden and going from hospital to hospital. I look toward the future, I dream of one day living like a healthy person and experiencing some of the things I never got to. My family helps me the most, especially my sister. She knows how sick I am but she treats me like every one else and doesn't make me feel like I'm weak.
But what really helps me is believing that one day I'll be able to have fun without worrying about pain. I will have to live with my conditions for the rest of my life, but one day I will be able to manage them, treat them and be able to do some of the things I always wanted to do. Always looking toward the future, never focusing on the pain and using the past to help me learn and move on with my family there right by my side every single step of the way.

New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/16/2011 1:43 AM (GMT -6)   
This is uncharted waters for me as well. I'm 38 and was living a very healthy lifestyle. Now, my time is spent in bed or at the doctor's office. It's so hard to swallow that I'm sick and in pain. I've been fighting chronic illness and pain the past nine months. I don't know how much more I can take!? It started out as one problem and now turned into multiple issues. I can't seem to get a diagnosis and feel like I'm left to deal with it by using pain meds and nausea medications. I have begged God to take me or give wisdom to my doctors. However, I have a lot to live for. I didn't realize how many friends I had or even the simple pleasures of life. I've tried to refocus my thoughts and look at life a bit differently. I have a huge ego and it's hard to watch my body change from muscles to skin and bones. I'm learning a lot of lessons and not taking for granted how delicate life really is. Take time to plant some flowers or try a new hobby. Anything that can distract you from the illness or pain will help some. Keep the faith that there are answers coming and that this will pass.

Betsey Ross
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1056
   Posted 5/16/2011 5:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Our Bluangel

I am so sorry to hear that ypu have multible issues causing you pain.
Do you have a good pain management doctor? I would think not since you cant get your pain under control. so many of us go to a pain xlinic.
Set small goals for yourself and only take it day by day. Do you have a walker? Would that help you hobble around the house? Thats what I do since Oct 2010.
Snuggle up into a comfortable ewcliner and elevate your legs and throw an afgan over yourself and if you want read a boook or looke thru a magazine.

Hang in there our Blueangel, we know where your coming from.

Soft Hugs

crushed lower knee and vertical fx of yibia/external fixator placed/plates and screws and tried to place big pieces of cartiledge under knee cap/tremendous pain in affected legcontinously without improving/allergic to metal in left leg/leg isnt straight/need metal removed in July/wait 6 months for healing/then toatal knee replacement/straighten out leg/more phsyxical therapy/take opana er

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 5028
   Posted 5/16/2011 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I get by with a little help from raising my serotonin, using tramadol. There are lots of other meds that work just for that and you can mix with other pain meds, which you don't dare with tramadol! Definitely talk with your pain doc about trying some. People get relief from different things.

My pain is not under control, but if my mood is OK I can tolerate it.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 816
   Posted 5/16/2011 12:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Bluangle, all of us have been where you are at one time or another.  I became totally disabled in 1999, at that time I stayed in bed for almost 2 years except to go to doctors appts.
I absolutley do not want to downplay any of what you are going thru.  I know this sounds oversimplifed, in time and with whatever you decide to do (as in seeing a psyciatrist, or couseling), you will find a way back to your life.  It will never be the life you had before you became a cp patient (Sorry, never say never), but you will find you can have a rich enjoyable life filled with many different things you will find on this journey.
After 11+ years of being a cp patient, I have had to make many, many adjustments from the life I had to the life I have now.  But the life I have now is filled with so many wonderful and new things, each day I find something else that gets my interest and off I go.  Please dont get me wrong, I have my days when I feel so sorry for myself, I just sit around all day and wallow in it.  Then it passes and I am back at it.  You can get to and thru it.  
Hoping you are having a low pain day, and many gentle hugs to you.  Think of the little train "I think I can, I think I can, then I know I can I know I can".  Sorry but I have a 5 year old grandson who loves that book in particular, I almost know it by heart. 
degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, neuropathy, lumbar laminectomy july 1998 no help, rechargeable neurostimulator unit low right back w/lead wires to left side and right leg unit not working just sitting there.i am 57 years young in may will turn 58. i have 2 grown daughters, 25 and 29. i have 2 grandchildren, 9 year old grandaughter and 5 yr. old grandson

Screaming Eagle
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 5/16/2011 1:47 PM (GMT -6)   
         Hello BluAngel!
             I don't think we have met yet! I was reading your post, and wanted to be sure and reply to it!
     Chronic Pain sure is a "Lonely" condition, isn't it! shakehead   The CP forum is really a testamant to that fact, because we can seek answers and then simply vanish into thin air and never be heard from again. However, we find that this is one place that we can meet and enjoy it, because, it seems that nobody except those suffering from CP can understand what we are going through. What a great place to share and visit, about all of the things related to "Chronic Pain"
     We read post after post of family and friends, who in no shape or form are really fully supporting their loved ones, suffering from this "Black Listed" condition. On top of that, many members are dealing with PCD's and PM's expressing doubt's about our conditions, the first step we take into their place of practice!
       So with all of that, I suppose the first step to dealing with this "Lonely Condition" you described as abandonment, empty, and invisible, is to do what you just did...and that is to reach out and say "I need support! ....Understanding! ....and Compaionship...and finally advice!"
        The other step, ...and it may take some effort as a "Self-Advocate" on your part, is to see that you're being treated properly by you're PCD and or PM's. I'm afraid untill you experience some sort of relief, you will continue to feel these types of feelings. Pain, will mess not only with you physically, but may do a number on you emontionally as well.
      Are you being scripted pain med's?...and if so is your pain scale low enough that you can enjoy some sort of quality of life? I'n my honest opinion, it should not take 7mo for a PM to begin pain med treatment, above and beyond the "Epidural's" especially if they are not having a positive effect at reducing you're pain scale to the point that you can enjoy some relief.
       Please stay engaged here with the members, as it does help, and if you are not recieving adequate care from you're PM, then tell him, and make sure he understands this. Be firm, but becareful not to anger him either. If you get no results, then it may be a good time to seek another care provider.
       Good luck!..and it was nice to meet you!
     SE wink    
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Weekly Quote!

"Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together"

Post Edited (Screaming Eagle) : 5/16/2011 1:05:36 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 5/16/2011 6:14 PM (GMT -6)   
1st lemmd say thank u 4 each n evry post. I feel visable & related 2 all. Pain meds, yes. Is tramadol a good thing 4 u? Chronic med probs since 2 y/o but had periods I seemed ok. Alot is autoimmune or result of a-immune. Ovr 20 surgerys. Bullheaded thought I was S-woman, rules didnt apply 2 me. Full, active, adrenaline based life. Finally got me. Generally deal w/it but have bad days. Good drs but must find another spec. The fractures r so painful n so many. Life lesson is asking 4 help. I was the 1 others went 2 so I hav2 bld a support system. Thank u all. Ths stuff takes strength, hope n alot of courage!
"The world breaks everyone. Then some people become strong at the broken places". E.H.

"Out of suffering emerge the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars". K.G.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 495
   Posted 5/16/2011 9:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Blu -

This is my first post back, and I'm glad I got here in time to reply.

For me the first thing was being mad enough at my pain to decide that I refused to let it rule my life. I had two choices I could lay in bed, give up my life, and hurt all day OR I could not let it get to me, fight the pain, and still hurt all day. I've come to terms with the fact that I am never going to be pain free. My goal each day is to keep my pain low enough that I can function. There is a song by Rascal Flatt called "Stand". One of the things it says is, "you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands brush it off, then you stand." That's what it took for me. I simply refuse to let the pain control me.

Some days it is a fight to get out of bed, but I can hurt walking around just as easy as I can hurt laying in bed.

Another thing for me, is my faith. I won't get to deep into, but I can tell you that knowing deep in my heart there is a reason for my pain.

I've found that reason through friends. There is a friend of mine that has told me that he get's his strength from me. There are days that he starts feeling sorry for himself, thinking "poor me", and he told me he thinks of me and realizes that there is nothing in his life that compares to what I go through with on a daily basis. I've dealt with my back pain since 2000 - my injury was less than a week after I was married. I fought for 9 years to have a child, concieved one and lost him. That is the only pain that has topped my back pain, and I got through that and can look down at my beautiful daughter, who wouldn't be here if not for losing my son.

The only thing you can do is decide you will not let the pain win. If you don't have a good pain doctor, find a new one. I went through one that would only do injections, one that just wanted to load me up on drugs, before finding the Integrative Pain Center of Arizona and Dr. Halter, who is amazing. There are a lot of not good ones, and a few great ones. Be your own advocate and if you disagree with your treatment say so. If this doctor will not prescribe pain meds you need ask them why.

Reach out here, because I will tell you HealingWell helped me through many dark days, and I know will help me in the future.

Feel free to contact me anytime if I can help!


Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 5/16/2011 9:57 PM (GMT -6)   
"The world breaks everyone. Then some people become strong at the broken places". E.H.

"Out of suffering emerge the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars". K.G.
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