Sadness with bad news

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Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 6/28/2011 2:03 PM (GMT -6)   
This is supposed to be a happy time of life, preparing for a wedding that is close to 90 days away. I have moments of overwhelming sadness now and am struggling with unhappy news.

I had 4 more trigger point injections yesterday. Two of them worked well, the other 2 were not effective. Today is a day of overwhelming ovarian cyst pain. Nothing is touching it. I spent an unknown amount of time on the bathroom floor in a faint this morning. Walking is impossible. My gyn surgeon has no appointments until July 20th, and I was told to be prepared for the possibility of surgery. Not again. My last was February. I don't want another surgery and certainly don't want this before the wedding. What if I don't heal? What if things get worse and our wedding day is spent in agony, not joy?
I need to stop worrying over what I am unable to control. Worrying is like praying for the worst thing to happen. I am wearing my rubber bands on my wrists again to snap when I have depressing thoughts or worries.

What do we do when nothing seems to work? How to handle the knowledge that the rest of my life may be spent getting surgery after surgery that could all cause additional pain? I am stuck in an ugly cycle with no way to break it. How will I tell my family that another surgery looms on the horizon?

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Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 6/28/2011 6:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Mindy, I'm so sorry for the amount of pain you're in and the fear you are experiencing right now.

Thinking of you *gentle hugs*

CRPS since 1999, diagnosed in 2005 and since spread to full body, spasms, dystonia & contractures, gastroparesis, orthostatic hypotension,bradycardia/tachycardia, bone spurs, bursitis, carpal tunnel syndrome.

On Oxycontin/Endone, Topamax, Mobic, Magnesium, Florinef, Somac, Cipramil. Have a spinal cord stimulator, intrathecal pump with baclofen & bupivacaine and doing physio.

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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9245
   Posted 6/29/2011 1:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mindy,

I too am so sorry for the pain and suffering you're enduring. And when your body stresses the pain increases and then more stress and,'s a miserable circle to be in. One thing that has helped many members who live with chronic pain is a 'pain counselor'. I know, it sound weird but they understand what you are feeling and thinking and have wonderful ideas to help you cope and learn to not only lessen your pain but to live a happy life in spite of it all. Just changing the way we look at things can make a huge difference in how much we suffer.

I hope you can get some help soon!
Moderator on the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain forums
Daily Donnybrook: Fibromyalgia, Insulin Dependent Diabetes. Ulcerative Colitis, Rare form of Dermatitis, Collapsed Disk, Osteoarthritis (especially in right hand and neck) and a couple of other adjunct agitations.
Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the best.

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Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 6/29/2011 4:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry for the things you've got going.... and for the concerns that you have.  We are human - so worrying is natural.  But it really can put us in that dark place and rob us from living and being present each day.  The only thing I can say is to just *try* to take it day by day - and not look too far forward.  Usually, when we think of the worst case scenario - it tends to be far better than that (usually, that is!).
I wish I had all the other answers.  I don't.  I have moments where I'm just as frustrated as you and just as depressed. 
The others have offered some good thoughts and advice.  I wish I had more to add.... but I do empathize w/ what you are saying.  I have a strong feeling, though, that you'll have a beautiful wedding... and we'll all pray that your pain issues - at least for that time period - will be as low as possible.
Hang in there, Mindy.  Keep venting as needed and know we are here.

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 6/29/2011 8:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all, especially for reminding me that worrying is human. There are days I feel so very alone.

I have another appointment today with my pain counselor, but stuck in bed and unable to get anywhere other than the bathroom right now. Hopefully by the time comes to leave this afternoon things will have calmed down.

Does anyone else feel like they have no options left?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 6/29/2011 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Will be thinking of you...keep us posted about what your pain counselor thinks...
Prayers and many many well wishes...
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
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