well I might as well put my two cents in here! As a male I found that with the herniated and torn disk at T-12 and other disk problems at other
locations, all the way through my spine. That the act it self, was painful, and completion was often not possible because of the pain. How ever I never lost the desire nor the will or the urge to try! My spouse at that time said she did not like to see me in pain, or to see that it caused me pain, and her answer to the situation, was to nolonger engage in the that activity. That decision on her part caused many many problems! Along with the other things that were going on in our marriage,....well it did not last! It was not the determining factor, but, I definitely feel that this was a contributing cause to our divorce. In fact I know it was, as I am the one who filed for it!
I do think that intimacy, in all its different forms, does help to bind and hold the marriage together. When one loses that, then as in my marriage we became like distant room mates, and that is indeed a sad thing to have to say! As I had once told my counselor ( I was going to marriage counselling alone as she would not go) ""If I am going to be alone, then I might as well really be alone!"" So after just more than 35 years of marriage we divorced! I do not regret filing for/ or getting the divorce, I do regret that it had to come to it in the first place! I hope that makes sense???
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!
Post Edited (White Beard) : 7/8/2011 11:55:31 AM (GMT-6)