sad and depressed, vent, pain

I'm so sad and depressed right now.

I had two appointments that I had to reschedule because I had no way to get there. One was the pulmonary doctor and then my pcp.

I just found out yesterday that my pcp just filled out the paper for my medicaid transportation. I had to ask the receptionist to ask her to send it to the address on the paper. I sent the papers to her like 2 weeks ago,and I called about them Thursday or they would probably still be sitting there.

I have always gotten the nurse practioner that I see to get my antidepressant and other meds like that from, but I had lost the copy of the papers and had to get them to send me another copy. My appointment was too far away with the nurse practioner to wait for her to fill them out, so I sent them to my pcp. Now I don't know2 when I'll get my medicaid transportation approved again.

It seems like things are going wrong left and right, and I can't take it anymore. ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I'm so sick and tired of it :( I still don't know what the masses are on my lung, and I have no idea when I might fined out. I just wish I could wake up and things would be different.

My pain seems to want to get worse at night. I'm tired of fighting. "tears" I'm at a point that I just want to give up I really don't know what to do.

Loretta

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Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees
Meds: Fentanyl patch, oxycodone, otc: BenGay, Tylenol Arthritis on occasion

L,

Loretta…I think we all feel that way from time to time. If I remember right your PM or PCD lowered your dose right?

Maybe it's time you need to get back in and see what the reason was behind it, and let them know you are suffering because of it.

The mass on your lung is nothing to put off either, so I'm hoping you can get in soon and put that to rest as well. I met a friend yesterday who is on the pump, and we had a long visit, and she said if you're constantly complaining about pain, and laying in bed all evening, then I'm still probably not where I should be on my med's. I believe she is right, and that I need to eventually see a PM instead of having my PCD script for my pain.

I have good days and bad days…are you having the same, or are you hurting all the time on the upper end of the pain scale? It certainly is no fun feeling that way all the time, is it!

Hope you will get to a place you can have a better quality of life….you need it for sure!

Hang tough! Do the best you can do…it just may take a little more time and effort on our parts, than what we planned for.

SE

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Post Edited (Screaming Eagle) : 7/10/2011 3:18:50 PM (GMT-6)

Thank you Tina and Michael.

Tina You're such a sweetheart. I'm sorry that you had to cancel your appointments. How many doctors do you see? I got my appointments rescheduled. but if the medicaid transportation isn't approved really soon, I'll have to reschedule again and I've never saw the pulmonary doctor, so I don't know if they will reschedule again. It's a big mess. It's so great to see you posting again. I hope you continue to feel better and rest because we don't want you in that hospital again.

Michael My doctor decreased the number of oxycodone I can take for break through pain. I still can't figure that out. The bottle says I can take two a day as needed but she only gives me 30 for a month, so I only take 1. I take it at night when my pain is the worst. I add in Tylenol Arthritis or Bayer Back and Body for extra relief. I also have Jerome to rub Maxifreeze on my back that helps too. I really wonder if I could use a muscle relaxer along with the pain meds. I keep meaning to call my doctor and ask if she will prescribe one. My memory is so bad, I feel like I could forget my own name sometimes.

I have good days and bad days. Thank God the pain isn't high everyday.

You need to find a PM doctor to manage your pain. You may be a candidate for the pump, but you won't know until you talk to a PM dr.


You two take care and I hope you're both having a low pain day. Love you both.

big soft hugs for both of you.
Loretta

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Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees
Meds: Fentanyl patch, oxycodone, otc: BenGay, Tylenol Arthritis on occasion