Are there others like me?

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/21/2011 3:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Pain is part of my identity. It is a part of who I am. It is a means by which I can identify myself. So what happens when the pain goes away? What happens when the pain is no more? How can I possibly be me without my pain? I am no longer scared of my pain, but of not having pain. I fear the day that I can no longer feel it. For all I know, the pain has disappeared. Sometimes I do believe that it is gone. My mind has made the pain continue or even worse, I know that the pain is gone, but I don’t want to acknowledge that it no longer exists. I want it to stay because I don’t know who I am without it. Am I the only person who feels this way? What do I do from here? Do I lie to myself? I am scared of change and facing who I am now.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16799
   Posted 8/21/2011 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chiari18, and welcome to Healing Well's chronic pain forum. You never told us what has caused you to have so much pain and what has been done to help you get relief from the pain.

Most of us here at this forum did lead a normal life prior to being diagnosed with chronic pain. So, with that being said we do know what the other life is like. And yes every single one of us would love to be pain free and we all pretty much know what we would like to do if we were pain free. We would be very busy trying to recapture some of the life and fun things that we missed out on because of pain.

If you truly feel as you say you do, the best suggestion I have is perhaps some professional counseling could help you overcome some of your fears and thoughts.

Take care.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/21/2011 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
You do exactly what you've always wanted to do with your life. Go running in the morning, work out, go hiking, go to school again.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 816
   Posted 8/21/2011 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Consider yourself very blessed, live your life, believe me I envy you.  If I could take one day in my life back, it would be the day I first injured my back, that was July 17,1989.  But I cant go back only forward.
So go forward, there are many things out in this world you can do.  Your identity will come along with you living your life to the fullest.
Take care, sorry I forgot to tell you who I am I am nini53/Kathy
Good luck
degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, neuropathy, lumbar laminectomy july 1998 no help, rechargeable neurostimulator unit low right back w/lead wires to left side and right leg unit not working just sitting there.i am 57 years young in may will turn 58. i have 2 grown daughters, 25 and 29. i have 2 grandchildren, 9 year old grandaughter and 5 yr. old grandson

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 8/21/2011 11:01 PM (GMT -6)   

I disagree w/ "Requiem_aeternam" saying to get off the pain forums. Yes, you need to live. Of course! But it sounds like you are searching to find your new identity.

If all of a sudden - my pain issues left - yes, I'd be bouncing off the walls. But it's now been something I've accepted and it HAS become a part of my identity for the past 8+ years. It would take some time to learn the "new" me.... just like w/ any changes.

As Susie/Straydog said - you never said what your pain was and what has given you relief. Is this a permanent situation?? (I hope so!). And I'm w/ her - maybe some professional counseling to "reintroduce" you to the new you would be a good thing.

If my pain and health issues left today (and I have progressive stuff - so it's probably not going to happen, barring a miracle).... I KNOW what I'd do. I would do all the things w/ my kids that my health prevents me from doing. I'd return to my hobbies - scrapbooking, painting, crafts, etc. I'd return to volunteering in Children's Ministries at church where I used to have a part-time job.

That doesn't mean I'd leave this board. I'd still support those I love her and that are still struggling. I feel that I've gone through the things I've gone through in order to help others.

But what it really sounds like is you need to get to know the "new" you.

Any other info you want to share would be great... and might help us to understand things better. But if you are feeling better - that is awesome and I'm truly VERY happy for you.


Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 8/22/2011 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   
wow,I wish my pain would go ,as I sure don't what to feel like this!Imiss the life Iuse to have,before CPand its possible the surgery will work ,Istill have other health issues,but even getting alittle better ,I feel will improve my life. I feel life is about growing and moving ahead.I think talking to someone or setting goals for yourself,can help you understand your more than your pain and life goes on.take care
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