Feeling so ashamed right now...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 8/28/2011 2:00 PM (GMT -6)   
My pain is nothing compared to what the majority of you all face day in and day out, and I lay here in the bed, unable to move without screaming out in pain.  Tomorrow can not come soon enough.  I have seriously considered asking my doc to call me an ambulance to his office.  I don't know how I am going to endure the 2 hour trip down.
My unfailing prayers go out to each and every one of you I been able to read about so far, as well as those that I have yet to read about.  Understand that if there isn't an update soon, it is only because I will be in the hospital, working on getting better.
I will take my hand/arm pain all day long every day for the rest of my life and never medicate again just to rid my body of this infection and make me well again.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 8/28/2011 2:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Prying 4 you. Get better.
"Life seems a little easier when you remember to breathe"

Dx: Rheumatoid Arthritis 2008
Bipolar 2 2006 (symptoms since 1993)
possable Fibromialgia (still ruling out other dx)
Gluten senitivity 2010
Sleep apneia 2007

Screaming Eagle
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 8/28/2011 3:01 PM (GMT -6)   
       Hello educat8athome!
              I'm so sorry you are in such terrible pain. shakehead   One thing I want you to know, is that,....I don't think there is single member here that will compare the pain of one member to another. Pain is pain...and is different for each individual.
       Did you get you're photo shoot done today? I was thinking about you and wondered if you were able to get it done or not.
      Hopefully you have someone to take you to you're appointment tomorrow? The staph infection sounds serious, and I'm guessing this is compounding the pain your having at this time. All I can offer is the advice to elevate your leg and maybe keep an ice pack on it.
   You always have the option to have someone to take you to the ER if it seems life threatening, or call the medics out to have a peek at it I supose. Can you take Ibuprofen for it?
        Take care, and we will keep you in our prayers.
     SE wink
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Weekly Quote!

"Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together"

Post Edited (Screaming Eagle) : 8/28/2011 2:16:16 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 8/28/2011 3:26 PM (GMT -6)   
We home educate our children. I've graduated the first two, the third will graduate in December, 1 month before he is to turn 18. He takes care of mom. And, he does it very well. He will be my driver tomorrow. He committed even knowing that we would have to leave home at 4:55 a.m. He is a blessing.

My daughter is married with her own family. She had had her turn at caring for mom. My oldest son takes moments at being willing, but when push comes to shove, he will. My husband, in all honesty--since this is my safe haven to vent--is truly my problem child. He says he "doesn't mind" taking care of me, but his actions speak far louder than his words. For instance: I've had ONE meal today. Courtesy of my youngest just before he left for his grandparents for the afternoon. He goes to work at 5:45. I am guessing I won't get another meal until Ducks gets home around 8. (Sorry, my youngest son is Drake...a drake is a male duck. So, now you understand the nick name. :) )

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16418
   Posted 8/28/2011 3:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Never apologize for having pain here or how little or how bad your pain is to you. Pain is just that pain, no matter how you look at it. It is a very individual type thing, we are all different.

As for your husband, men as a rule are the fixers, if they can't fix us then they really have no clue what to do. At least this has been my experience. If I say something in passing, as I rarely ever discuss my my pain with him or anyone except here, I get the standard answer, I know what you mean. Well, no he does not know what I mean, this is my pain, not his.

As for his worrying about his next, meal, my usual answer to that one is, I am not Betty Crocker. I rarely cook mainly because I don't like to cook. Its just the two us so I spend as little time in the kitchen as I can. I cooked when my children were at home, once they were grown and gone I closed the restaurant down.

Take care of yourself.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 8/28/2011 5:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, SD. Unfortunately, my husband is just rude about it all. No matter what, he's just rude. It makes me crazy that he can't have just a little bit of compassion.

When it comes to meals, it isn't him worrying about his next meal, it is ME not getting meals when I can't get up and about. I'm an after thought.

He just left for work. My son isn't home from his grandparents yet. He never asked question one about if I needed anything before he left. This is my life.

7 o'clock tomorrrow morning can not come soon enough.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 8/28/2011 6:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Please don't feel ashamed Educ. Your pain is important, as much as anyone

elses. I'm so sorry you are suffering terribly. I sure hope you get some relief

tomorrow morning. If we don't hear from you we'll know that you were admitted.

I sure wish your husband could support you more. It must be so tough.

Could a friend come over and help you perhaps or a neighbour? I am blessed

to have a wonderful and very understanding husband who has been there for

me every step of the way since this chronic pain began more than eleven

yrs ago. I wish everyone could be so lucky. I really don't know how i

would manage all alone. Please hang in there ok. Take it one step at a time,

one day at a time.

Sure hope you can get some sleep tonight.

Take care

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 8/28/2011 8:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh Cathy :( Never feel ashamed, never feel that you can't come here and talk about your pain, or vent about what is going on. Pain is a terrible thing to deal with, especially when it's chronic and relentless as we all deal with.

Thinking of you *hugs*

CRPS since 1999, diagnosed in 2005 and since spread to full body, spasms, dystonia & contractures, gastroparesis, orthostatic hypotension,bradycardia/tachycardia, bone spurs, bursitis, carpal tunnel syndrome.

On Oxycontin/Endone, Topamax, Mobic, Magnesium, Florinef, Midodrine, Somac, Cipramil. Have a spinal cord stimulator, intrathecal pump with baclofen & bupivacaine and doing physio.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 8/28/2011 9:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Cathy, I've been thinking that everyone else here has far greater pain than I do, too, so I can relate to that...although, in reality, I know that's just not true.  Like the others have said, your pain is YOUR pain.  I can tell you that when I read your first post, I definitely thought that my pain could be nowhere near what YOURS is.  I suspect I might feel that way because it seems I am always told (by my husband) "well you might have a little bit of arthritis" or "well at least you don't have RHEUMATOID arthritis", like he has.  He tries to be helpful (I think), but I just don't think he knows what to do or understands me.  I certainly don't want to complain about him, though, as he continues to work hard a full-time job and a side job, so that I can stay home...and he never complains about it.
You know, I haven't looked at this forum all day, but I have thought about you today and wondered how you were doing.  It doesn't sound like you are any better, by any means, and I am honestly quite worried about you.  I do feel somewhat relieved in the fact that yesterday you seemed to clear up alot of our concerns that you perhaps didn't realize the seriousness of your staph infection.  You do sound quite knowledgeable and willing to go to the hospital.  And I bet you will be admitted tomorrow. 
I want you to know that I care and I will definitely be thinking about you tomorrow.  As soon as you are able, please let us hear from you.
DDD, 3 bulging lumbar discs, bone spurs, facet joint arthrosis/sclerosis, osteoarthritis

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 8/29/2011 5:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks to everyone who has made me feel more "justified" in my venting about my pain.

I have posted an update about me. Please do go read it, I am in the hospital facing surgery tomorrow.

Please keep me in your prayers.

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