I can not begin to tell you how much I empathize with you! I wish I could help relieve your fears, but I know exactly what you mean! You want to believe and trust that they will do the right things for you but through experience, you know deep down that they probably won't. I understand completely!
I thought I had eveything covered last year for my surgery because of all the problems I had the year before with pain control with my surgery then. But it turned out even worse for me, now I am completely like you, and that is one of the biggest reasons I refuse to have the total Hip replacement that I am told that I need! I wish I had something to say to relieve your fears and miss trust, but I am sorry,... I don't!!
Honestly Alcie, I read your post and I can feel your feelings, and sense your fears! For me I think it is bad enough knowing so much about all this medical stuff, ( being a nurse, even if Im on disability and haven't practiced it in awhile) Really....ignorance is to a certain extent truely bliss. Somethings that happen while being a patient just scared the pants off me! And I really do make a terrible patient, I want nurses to wash their hands and wipe their stethescope with a alcohol wipe before it touches me, and a host of other things. I can not begin to tell you the lectures I gave my nurses the last time I was in last year! It really was bad!! I will not even go into the lack of Pain control, but let me tell you, I know and completely understand your fears about that, and I think and feel your feelings are completely legit! I do not blame you a bit for worying about not having your pain adequately controlled! It honestly makes me cringe for you when I even think about it! . I will keep my fingers crossed and my toes that they keep you comfortable!
Well I guess I have not been any help to you, but just know that you are not alone, we are all here suppporting you!
I do wish you well, and good luck to you!
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!