2 losses in 24 hours...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 10/18/2011 4:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Horrible time right now... It's 2am and I can't sleep even though I'm exhausted...

On Sunday morning, my very dear grandmother passed away... We were very close...
Then on Monday morning (yesterday) my mother-in-law passed away...
Both gone within 24 hours...

they were both battling breast cancer that spread...
I know they are better now, it's just so hard on me and my husband and children....(19 & 14)

How do I help my 14yr old? Her and grandma were SO close.... This is tearing her up...
Thanks for listening.
Tethered Spinal Cord~1.5x1.2 cm spinal cord cyst at L5/S1  (Lumbar Laminectemy completed 9/10/09)~Scolosis~Migrains~Leg Deformity~Foot Deformity~Knee, Hip, Back, Neck Pain~Severe Depression~Insomenia~DDD~Artheritis (Spine)~Spinal Bone Spurs~NEW: Herniated Disc T5/T6 
"I'm not going to vacuum 'till Sears makes one
you can ride on"
~Roseane Barr~

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 10/18/2011 5:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for your losses, that really is a lot to have happen at once. My thoughts are with you.

I would let your daughter know that its normal to feel sad about her Grandma passing away, and that if she ever wants to talk about it that you're there to listen.

All the best, hope that your family finds comfort soon.
--Patrick, aka Misterkatamari

I'm active on several boards. Main issues are: Chronic Pain due to Scoliosis & 2 Herniated Discs, possible DDD and arthritic facet joints. Also active in the Depression/Anxiety boards. Meds include: Prozac 40mg, Xanax .5 mg, Tramadol 50mg

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 663
   Posted 10/18/2011 6:05 AM (GMT -6)   

I am so sorry for your losses. Losing someone we love is so hard to begin with, then to lose two people within a day must be devastating.
I just wanted to send my condolences and to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Gentle Hugs,

Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraines, Undetermined Auto-Immune Dysfunction (probable MCTD, sero-negative RA and ?), Trigger finger, Carpal Tunnel, Cubital Tunnel, GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety

Oxycontin, Percocet, Lopressor, Lexapro, Celebrex, Omeprazole, Promethazine as needed for nausea, Ventolin inhaler and Vitamin D3

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 10/18/2011 10:18 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry for your losses. I am praying for you and your family.

Gentle hugs,

Betsey Ross
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1056
   Posted 10/18/2011 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sending my condolaces to you and your family. What you are feeling is normal and just let your family know that you are there for them when they want the support.
crushed lower knee and vertical fx of tibia/external fixator placed/plates and screws and tried to place big pieces of cartiledge under knee cap/tremendous pain in affected leg continously without improving/allergic to metal in left leg/leg isnt straight/ metal removed in July//then total knee replacement/straighten out leg/more phsyxical therapy/take oxycontin,flexeril,cymbalta,vicadin for BT

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2265
   Posted 10/18/2011 9:12 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry for your losses Donna. My condolences to you and your family. Just be there the best you can be for your 14 year old. I'll be praying for you and your family.

love and hugs
Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees
Meds: Fentanyl patch, oxycodone, otc: BenGay, Tylenol Arthritis on occasion

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 10/19/2011 7:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Donna, I'm sorry for your losses. My condolences to you and your family.

CRPS since 1999, diagnosed in 2005 and since spread to full body, spasms, dystonia & contractures, gastroparesis, orthostatic hypotension,bradycardia/tachycardia, bone spurs, bursitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, osteoporosis, osteopenia.

On Oxycontin/Endone, Topamax, Mobic, Magnesium, Florinef, Midodrine, Somac, Cipramil. Have SCS, intrathecal pump with baclofen & bupivacaine and doing physio

Heather Lynn
Regular Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 283
   Posted 10/19/2011 9:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Donna, I am so sorry for your losses. I'm not sure how to help your daughter - all people grieve differently. I know lots of people are helped by remembering happy memories of the person who died, and finding ways to commemorate that person in their lives. But I think that comes after the acute grief period, right after the loss most people need time to process and grieve, and there's little that can make that part better.
Fibromyalgia, low back pain/SI joint dysfunction, anxiety, obstructive sleep apnea, endometriosis, asthma

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 10/19/2011 10:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Donna, my heart aches for you.  I am so sorry for the losses you have just experienced in your family.  The best thing you can do for your daughter is just let her cry, talk, scream...or whatever she feels the need to do right now.  And everyone is different as to how long that will take.  Maybe it hurts for her to talk about Grandma right now, too...and that's ok. 
Isaiah 43:2  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;  and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;  the flames will not set you ablaze.
DDD, 3 bulging lumbar discs, bone spurs, facet joint arthrosis/sclerosis, osteoarthritis, possible fibromyalgia (my dr's are telling me that I "most likely" have fibro but won't actually diagnose it...)
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