Vent about struggle

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Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/28/2011 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Anyone who says the best things in life are free is full of baloney!

The struggle I am having with pain in the midst of the family issues, insurance paperwork and worry, bullying, trying to graduate from medical transcription school, and daily living will be worth it in the end. This is my constant reminder, that things that are worked for desperately can be as rewarding as those that are free. Who gets anything for free anymore really?

Christmas is a new worry for us. Money is so tight, but I worry more about being able to cook, make the cookies I want to make with my family, to get my crocheting done for the gifts, and I am set to graduate a couple of days before it as well. There is just too much going on for me to relax, and when I am trying to relax, I worry about how to get it all done. Without the help of my husband, sons, and friends since the surgery I would be lost. I know that many of you struggle with this too, and many of our older members have found some type of balance. It is so easy for me to slip out of that balance.

I am such a downer lately too. Depression is my worst enemy. I am experiencing anxiety and panic attacks again, which may be medication related or simply my anxiety issues rearing their heads again. That will have to wait a bit until the paperworks submitted for insurance are approved or denied. I am blessed to have a medication plan in action for this time.

Back to balance....I am seeing that just around the time when I find a balance for finances or physical issues, something else comes up and knocks me off balance. This happens to my friends who aren't dealing with CP. This just may be part of life that we have limited control over, balance. The only control I have is how I react to things anyway, so maybe I should handle balance that way as well.

I pray you all had a great Thanksgiving who celebrate, and any member who does not had simply low pain days. I will try to be less absent, but fear bringing my depression to share instead of good things.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/28/2011 7:56 PM (GMT -6)   
This is such a tough time of year for HEALTHY people, so go easy on yourself. you may need to cut back on some traditions.
We used to have one really nice dress up cocktail party with 15-20 people, but last year, our water broke 1 hour before the party, it was lovely anyway but I was shot for days, xmas day was a blur of pain. This year we are having 4 people for a nice little party, people who will not get offended if I go put my feet up for a bit.

Be realistic and learn to bow out gracefully. Remember this is a time of peace and goodwill, not frantic nice to yourself and then you can enjoy your loved ones

Take care
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/28/2011 8:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to agree with Maggie....I also have had to downsize what we usually do, I have learned to give up the reins. This has made my holidays a little more enjoyable and lot less stress.

Try to enjoy the holidays let others handle things. Take care and I will keep you in my prayers

Bless you, Amy

Chronic pain(nerve), fibro, and mild depression

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 11/28/2011 9:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Amy and Maggie.
I have let so many holiday things go these past two years. We have the slice and bake cookies, do only one holiday trip to visit hubby's family instead of four, and we have decided tonight to eat out for Christmas day. I thought my men would be upset, but they are happy to go to a friend's Chinese restaurant instead.

Now I just need to learn to relax!

Bless you both, my friends!
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw
Pelvic adhesive disease, IBS, SI pain, arthritis, kidney stones, depression, 10 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, endometriosis, adenomyosis, and possible ovarian remnant syndrome. Unexpectedly growing ovary #3 on right side.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 373
   Posted 11/28/2011 9:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Montys mom,
It is good to see you, it has been a while. I understand your frustration we have my daughter who has to got to her dads half the day and with me for the other half, plus we have to got to my boyfriends folks plus my mothers house. The truth is I really do not like christmas that much.. I know, I know what your saying "what a bah hum bug" but the pressure of it is immense.
This year I am thinking of going to moms on christmas eve and letting my daughters father have her on christmas.
I think you said it monty's mom when you said "it is how we react" that is so true. Take it easy and hope things go your way, most of all, good to see you.
Crohns dx,Pelvic Floor Tension,Pelvic Adhesive dx,Interstitial Cystitis,Ileostomy,Severe Scoliosis,Chronic Pain,Arthritis,BP1,Anxiety/Panic attacks,Several reconstructive surgeries,fibromyalgia.42 degree scoliosis,pelvic tilt and neurological impingement, complete loss of neck curve and degenerative disc dx

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/28/2011 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Monty's mom.....I hear ya learning to relax is tricky for us woman, I have not got that quite

Take care, my friend

Chronic pain(nerve), fibro and mild depression

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 11/29/2011 2:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mindy...

Been wondering how you are doing. Hanging in here myself, just trying to do the best I can. Anxiety has tried to take me under a couple of time - but on I fight (I have to, you know what I mean???).

Christmas used to a huge source of stress for us, too... until, one day, we just changed our perspective on it. We honor our faith each day of the year. We tell each other we love each other and give gifts throughout the year. So, we stopped trying perform super miracles each December to "get it all done". Yes, we still put up the tree and do a little decorating, etc. But you will not find me baking 20 dozen cookies in the kitchen anymore. I don't know. These are just things that I had to come to grip w/ over the years. I'd be so miserable.... tired... and it really took away from the "meaning" of the holiday.

As I said before, too, my depression and anxiety have been high. It took some med adjustments.. but I still have my moments. I don't have any magical answers - except that it sucks - and I hope you can get yours under control, my friend.

Many, many hugs... and PEACE. --Tina

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 15857
   Posted 11/30/2011 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
MM I am with Tina on this one. I remember all too well how stressed out I would get every year starting at Thanksgiving all the way to the first of the year. There was so much to do and not enough time it seemed to pull it off. This was going on before I got sick and it always wore me out and I really did not enjoy it all that much because of the stress. After getting sick, I took stock of this mess and guess what!! I cut so much out, now I enjoy the holidays.

I never got anything free in this life so I never put much in that old saying, lol.

Take care you will make it through.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum
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