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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 11/29/2011 1:23 PM (GMT -6)   


I am new I just found this website and I am in a downward spiral! In 2001 I was pregnant and we lived in CA. My husband had been deployed for my entire pregnancy and I stayed in CA worked full time and took care of our 3 year son. I was 36 weeks pregnant and my husband was coming home for 1 week and then leaving again for 4 months. I took our 3 year to the airport to meet our surprise guest and when we got to the gate I felt the worst pain in the world rip across my back. After falling and then crawling to a chair dragging my 3 year old with me I managed to stay conscious and tell someone my name, my husbands name and beg them not to let anyone take my son. With in a short amount of time I  had a ER c-section and the dr's found a lot of blood with out diagnosing it they sent me to recovery where I went into a full code blue. I was given my last rites and as a last ditch effort a 3rd year resident responded to the code and did a ER thoracotomy which bought him time to find the source of the bleeding he then performed a distal pancreatectomy and splenectomy. I received over 34 units of blood and contracted MRSA. I had suffered a ruptured splenic artery aneurysm. My baby and I were the 14th known woman and baby to have survived as of 2001. It was horrible, the last 10 years have been a struggle. Yes I am alive but I suffer from severe post thoracotomy syndrome. I have a ton of stomach issues caused by the abdominal surgeries, adhesion's and scaring and side effects from my med's. I suffer from severe PTSD and anxiety which happens when you die and are brought back especially during child birth. I tried everything before giving in to pain medications but I finally gave in. We tried steroid shots, epidurals considered heat ablation and cryo surgery any and everything was considered also going back in shaving down the ribs that are affected and-or putting in a replacement cartiledge. I have been on a alot of pain med's and am now on 4 mg Hydromorphone, 100 mg Fentanyl patch changed every 48 hours and 600 mg Actiq lozenges. I take Zanaflex, Promtethazine 450 Welbutrin, use Lidoderm patches and take Xanax. I also must use Nulev for colon spasms and on and on...............I am 42 years old and just tired to complicate issues we have also have a baby boy who will be 1 next week. I know die during child birth and have a baby but I did not find out I was pregnant until I was over 20 weeks. Every doctor told me to terminate, I was told I was selfish, I was told prepare to die, I was told to say good bye to my sons etc. I understand it was a horrible situation to be in but I was 41 years old and had been told I needed a hysterectomy and I was in early menopause. I was hysterical, I was in shock, I did not know every day I am so bloated I look 3 months pregnant. To be what a cruel trick to be pregnant when I had died the last time.  It is no excuse I take and took fuly responsibility of being 5 months pregnant with no pre natal care and on a lot of medications that could harm the baby. But I could not bring myself to take his life when mine had been spared. I could not do it. I cut back on every medication and as they predicted the pain of the  growing baby against my ribs was beyong excrutiating but I had brought this on myself I had not been careful and I had to suffer for his little life.  Luckily he is ok, he was born 5 weeks early. My placenta abrupted and after another 911 call and er c-section he was able to come home last Christmas Eve. Once I found competent ob's at UNC Chapel Hill and wrote my older son's letters about my wishes for them and my love I left it in God's hands and he saw us through even though the birth was like a cruel trick playing out again.  It has been hard and no one unless they suffer from chronic pain will ever get it. Do I like taking so much medicine heck no but it gets me through the day. I post today because I wanted to reach out to others who are like me who get it. I also need advice. I have been on disability first short term then long term since may 2001. The Hartford made me apply for SSI to offset their payments and I did and have been receiving them for 7 plus years. Every year the Hartford has me update my status and I have to have my doctor's update paperwork. I thought I was being followed about a few weeks ago and told my psychiatrist about it. My reviews have never been an issue until I week ago I received a call from a investigator who told me he works for the Hartford and want to come to my house to "interview me". That automatically worried me because they have never done that. I called them and they said it was just a tool they use. I have researched this for 1 week and every article or website mostly attorneys tell me NOT to meet with this investigator that his job is to come into my home and use everything against me and misconstrue my words. I was told he will probably pull out a dvd of me from their survelliance to put me on the spot. The investigator called again yesterday and I told him I needed some time to arrange to have my husband with me because he had to get the time from work. I know I won't be able to hold him off for long or they could use this as a excuse to cut me off. I have spoken to a few attorney's who say they will take the case but they are so expensive. I don't know what to do I do think I made a mistake filling out my paperwork because I didn't say my worst day or bad days they are all bad or hard. The insurance companies don't see to get through even normal activity takes a lot of will power, strength and medications that leave me wiped out and in bed for days afterward. They will never get it so I did not say that on my forms. What do I do does anyone have any advice or experience. Words or encouragement, insight or thoughts about any of this. I live for my boys there laughs and smiles have kept me alive and at times pulled me out of the deepest of depression. It is a daily struggle as you all know and I am scared. I have lived with this for 10 1/2 years alone accept for a good  psychiatrist to talk to. I have been so alone,, even when pregnant here I had another little body in me but I was so very alone. Thank you for letting me post and to get this out.  My husband went ahead and retired from the Marine Corp after 22 years in part because he needed to be here to help care for us. We are no more hurt nor diserving than anyone else but I have a feeling and the attorneys I spoke with agreed the Hartford is trying to cut off my benefits or send me to work. Should we try and fight them even though they will never understand "pushing through the pain", wanting to be normal and to live, being a mother and trying at times to give our boys moments they will remember over mommy shut away in her room full of medicines. Thank you for letting me post and to get this out. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 11/29/2011 1:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, you've got a lot on your plate! Welcome to the site, and I'm glad you joined and posted. It's really good to have a place to vent and talk to other people who share similar experiences.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes, having to go through the near death experience on top of child birth is just beyond me. I don't think anyone can judge you when you had something so crazy like that happen to you, and you both came out of it alive. I'm glad that you lived, and I'm sure it is hard to deal with that experience and the health issues you now have in part of it. Plus having kids is hard work by itself, let alone when you're ill!!

So I applaud you for working hard for yourself and your family in this really tough time. You've been through nightmarish stuff that most of us would never even want to think about happening to us--but you're still here. Sorry you had to go through that though, and that you're still dealing with the effects.

Also, I don't understand the investigator thing. It sounds creepy and strange to me, honestly, I have never heard of such a thing before. I would really consider taking an attorney, even if it costs alot. Are you getting SSDI, or just short term benefits? Do you qualify for SSDI, or just SSI? I'm just not quite sure what Hartford is other than insurance, so are you just saying you're getting disability payments from them as part of your insurance plan that you had with them?

I'd definitely focus on the SSI application. Talk in depth to your medical and mental health doctors about it and see if you can have them fill out a type of form called a Residual Functional Capacity form. It just describes what actions you can and cant do and how your conditions limit you. It might help your case if you haven't already had one done, though you might have since you've been dealing with the insurance company for awhile now.

Anyhow, I'm glad you posted and I hope you will keep us updated! :)
--Patrick, aka Misterkatamari

I'm active on several boards. Main issues are: Chronic Pain due to Scoliosis & 2 Herniated Discs, possible DDD and arthritic facet joints. Also active in the Depression/Anxiety boards. Meds include: Prozac 40mg, Xanax .5 mg, Tramadol 50mg

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 11/29/2011 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
wow thank you just reading your post made me my eyes there are others worse off and to be honest we are all in this together fighting the pain cycle. Yes I receive SSD that is a secret of The Hartford when my std claim rolled into a ltd after 1 year they made me apply for SSD because it off sets their cost. I personally find it disgusting considering the state of our economy and the shortage of funds S. Security if facing while the Hartford post gains in the high millions! The investigator is scary it is scary to be followed by someone and you can not confront them. I want to tell them come into my house, video me recovering from this outing this day this errands. See my med's which let me get through that day, errand event. But thank you for replying I am worried and don't know what to do I do agree with the attorney but they are up to $500 an hour or 30% of anything gained or both. We will go into debt fighting them but it is the point someone must stand up I just hope I am strong enough.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 11/29/2011 4:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Gosh Game, your story just breaks my heart. You have been thru so so much.
I sure am glad you found us but terribly sorry that you suffer so badly.
Keep coming here and posting and we will all help you get thru this. That's what we do best here.... we care about each other and understand the pain and suffering that we each go thru.
This investigator stuff does sound quite scary. I've never heard of this happening.
I am happy that your children bring you so much happiness and get you thru your days. So your husband stays home with you now to help out? Do you have other family members near or dear friends that can help you? Where do you live?
I am in Ontario.
I pray that you can have some better days ahead.
Take care,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/29/2011 4:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow Game........You have been thru sooo much. Welcome to hw forum, you are in the right place. I just started on this sight 1 month ago and already have made some lasting friendships. People on this sight are so understanding and best of all they are non-judgemental.

I get it about your boys bringing a smile to your face, in the past 2 yrs I have 2 wonderful gran sons an boy they can take my pain away even for a short period of time, they just help you forget when nothing else does. I hope that makes sense.

I am sorry I do not know much about your insurance, I live in Canada not sure were your from. I would take Patrick's advice and have a lawyer. The expense might be worth it. I wish you all the luck that all goes well.

Bless you and your family

Take care, Amy

Chronic pain(nerve), fibro and mild depression turn

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 11/29/2011 8:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Your story got to me and well broke my heart, so verytruly sorry you
had to go thru all that for your now to face heck
with Hartford, what are they thinking, they got to be crazy....Face them
with your husband and many well wishes to you...oh if you don't mind me
asking what did you name your little miracles???
Sorry if that was outta line, just wanted to know...
Others will come by with better advise, but if you need
we are here to offer as much support as you need, take my shoulder to lean on...
Prayers and well wishes, do keep us posted, we care...
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2265
   Posted 11/29/2011 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi and welcome to the forum. Your story breaks my heart as well. You've been thru so much and are still going thru so much. Hartford really has the nerve to have someone following you around. Wow. That sounds really scary.

If I were you, I would fight with everything I had with a lawyer to help. You don't deserve that treatment.

Please keep us updated on how things are going and how you're doing. Take care.

Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip, Osteoarthrits in right hip, compression fracture in thoracic spine due to falling on frozen ground March 2001 , ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, osteoarthritis in spine, osteoarthritis in both knees
Meds: Fentanyl patch, oxycodone, otc: BenGay, Tylenol Arthritis on occasion

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/30/2011 8:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Game, wow that is a rough journey you have been through, I am glad your here and your babies. Insurance companys are scum!!! You need a good lawyer. I had them follow me, they even came to my door and told me a slept with someone with aids, just to get a positive id on me. Then we went to a hearing and they said they had video of me running around playing with my children. Little did they know that it was my sister inlaw, we look very similar from 50 feet away. needless to say they had nothing. But they are watching you, every little thing you do. If the dr said don't lift more than 5 lbs. don't even think of picking up that gallon of milk, that weighs eight lbs. I know I am a mom and sometimes you feel you just can't wait and hey its only 3 extra pounds. Don't do it, they catch you, you have alot of explaining to do and a big headache in court. I am so sorry that you are in this position. Only thing I can suggest is a lawyer and they will get them to back down. Take care and feel free to share anytime
DX: spinal fracture L5/S1, fusion 1/96, Spondylolethsis, DDD, nerve damage to both legs and bladder, 4/2007 anterior & posterior fusion L1-S1, 4 Bladder surgeries. Multipe injections, depression, PTSD

Meds: MS Contin 60mg bid, oxycodone 30mg tid, clonazapam 1mg bid, Pristiq 50mg.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16755
   Posted 11/30/2011 2:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Game & welcome to Healing Well's chronic pain forum.I am so glad that you found us. I think we have one of the best group of people a person could ask for. Everyone here suffers with CP and know all too well what happens when ou start down that road.

You sure do have a story to tell as to what started you on this long journey. It took a lot of courage to come here and share your story with us. There is no one that knows any better than us how you feel about having to take medication to have some quality life. Bottom line is for many of us this is the only way we can have some quality life and we are just as deserving of this as the next one. Yes, I would love to be medication free but without a miracle it is not going to happen. I have a pain pump implanted.

Considering everything that has happened with you I think you should be applauded for all the obstacles that you have overcome to get where you are today. Keep up the good work, it has not been an easy road for you I am sure.

I don't know if you had problems with Hartford when you first filed for LTD, but I can tell you first hand so many people have a hard time getting their benefits approved and started in a decent time frame. I worked as a paralegal over 20 yrs & some of our clients filed for LTD and the crap they went through with the big companies like Unum, they were the worst. They were famous for saving there was a new adjuster on the file who had not had time to review the file, or they were needing one more report from the dr even though the report had been sent, they would drag things out for years and were smart enough to not send a letter saying the clam was denied. That would have left the door open for the person to get an atty. They always needed one more thing. Pretty much all of them have the clause about filing for SSD. It saves them money if the person gets SSD.

I am surprised they are sending an investigator to your home, usually its a nurse who sits there and acts like she/he is your best friend and the whole time they are taking mental notes about how you are able to care for small children, or how clean your home is, must be able to do house work, anything they can use to discredit your disability. They are famous for sending someone to your home & they can actually takes pics of you 3 miles away and you never know they are there. But if you do not cooperate with them they can probably
stop your benefits.

Again welcome aboard and keep us posted om how you are doing.
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/29/2012 9:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Chartreuse I just saw your question about the children's names, they are fitting our eldest is Chance as we has tried several rounds of IVF with no luck and were told we had a 1% chance of conceiving on our own. They called off our last IVF because of poor egg quality and low and behold on my birthday a few weeks later we conceived. We named him Chance as a reminderthatthis doctor was to God and miracles do happen. My miracle aneurysm baby was named by my husband and family since I was in the ICU for so long they did a wonderful job naming him Cade Michael. Cade after Cade's Cove a beautiful park in Pigeon Forge TN I use to hike while in college Michael after Saint Michael, with our last little miracle who beat all odds like Cade was named Cameron "Cam" Gabriel Anderson once again his middle name is a nod to my Catholic beliefs and gratitude to God, Saints and angels saving us over and over again.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 1/30/2012 11:56 AM (GMT -6)   
gamecocknnc- I just wanted to welcome you to this forum- I am new here as well, but have received SO much support here and am so thankful I found this board. I am so very sorry to hear about everything you have been through, you poor thing. :( I hate what the insurance company is putting you through- insurance companies are greedy and don't care what people are going through...they absolutely infuriate me. I really hope you feel better and get things resolved quickly. *hugs*
Current: DDD L4-S1, Arthritis L4-S1, Facet Syndrome, Interstitial Cystitis, Vulvodynia, Restless Leg Syndrome, Bi-polar, IBS, Fibromyalgia, PTSD. In past 6 months have had epidurals, facet blocks and radiofrequency ablation.
Past: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. 3 laparoscopies, 2 cystoscopies, total hysterectomy, appendix & gallbladder removal.
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