Hi, Jeanette, I'm Kristi, better known as Rhaevin. I'm so glad you found this site. Myself I've been gone for many months, but realize this place is to important to my mental health, regardless it's getting to difficult to type.
Like you and Laura I have CRPS. I've only had it for over four years now, and like most of us, gone through hell in the process to get diagnosed and treated.
But this isn't about that, this is about a spouse that has a hard time grasping the concept. I want you to know the fact you've been married so long is a good sign. I was married for less then six months to a man who said he "understood" my condition and had no qualms with it... later he flung in my face how my pain got in the way of his happiness and it went down hill from there. Since then I dated an old friend briefly, but that too failed. I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that aside from my folks and my son (he turned 9 today) it's just me and my service dog. It's not how I wanted to spend my life.
I found, especially for family and friends, the best way to help them try to grasp the concept of what my life has become is to feed them as much info as possible. Not just about the ins and outs of CRPS/RSD, but articles from others. It's like trying to teach a child something: your kid won't learn or listen to you, but a friend or teacher has no issue getting them to listen/do. Sometimes they need to hear it from somene else to get a better perspective.
I know Laura should have a link, if she hasn't shared it already, of an interview she did. I can supply a link to an article in Time Magazine for one that was done on me a year ago. Perhaps hearing it from someone else will help him understand what you're going through, grant him a bit more patience, and make him realize just how special and important he is to you. There is no better emotional support then family and loved ones.
As I have recently forgotten, I ask you to remember with me: You're not alone.
Originally injured 10/26/2007 - Initial diagnosis; Tendonitis
Have seen several specialists; Bone, Muscle, Hand, Neurologist, Chriopractor, Physical Therapist...
Went through a battery of tests, multiple MRI's
11/16/09 finally diagnosed CRPS - Stage 2
Permanently disabled, on Oxycodone, Celexa and Zaniflex.
February 2011 successful SCSU trial
May 2011 SCSU implanted