Posted 1/22/2012 5:49 AM (GMT -7)
Hello Mindy and All,
Each of you have made some such incredible points. After loosing so many children, I was able to have my child 12 years ago and would have loved to have more, but it was not realistic for me. There would have been such a possibility (even if I were blessed with pregnancy without intervention) of my next child being seriously cognitively damaged. Again, we were blessed beyond compare to have the one (a natural conception) with amazing mental abilites and in my opinion, quite beautiful :)
For that reason, I am not unhappy when I know I wanted a larger family and that I must be happy with the one child I do have. Some of our memembers...and I can think of one in particular....were not so blessed and are terribly saddened everyday that the were denied motherhood (or fatherhood for that matter).
Anyway, I do not deny that emotions of sadness slip in once in a while, but the blessings I have are too great with the child I do have and I want to celebrate her life everyday! She understands her mother's pain and is emphatetic, unlike so many children today. She is a great help to me! I know most of you have given your children exactly the same thing I give mine.....love. It does not matter if you have one or 100, love is the greatest gift you can give....unconditional and unjudgmental love. Don't get me wrong, I am a mother who believes in teaching respect, empathy, dignity, kindess, responsibility, and the list goes on. I do punish for bad behavior and reward for good...though the reward most often is a hug or a kind word of pride in her.
Mindy, the "small things" you are making for others gives them a memory of when their blessed child was so tiny that it could actually wear such a gift. The child may not know who gave them these things later, but the parents always will and the items will most likely be passed along from generation to generation with so much love because they are hand made, even if there are flaws, they are part of the fabric and become loved and individual just like the child.
Please do not feel depressed that you are not giving the world more children, feel elated that you are giving the world memories that they can hold in their hands years from now when we are gone and our children are grown and perhaps their children are grown. You are giving something that remains and will be kept in memory boxes and will bring joy each and every time they are re-discovered.
For all the many others who posted such pain, I am deeply sorry for the pain you suffer. You are obviously loving women, who suffer very misunderstood pain. I do not have pelvic pain in the same way you do and for that I am grateful. I know there must be an answer, but I do not know what that answer is. It is a different kind of pain than the back pain that I suffer, but pain is pain! One is no greater nor is one less intense than the other. I wish there were something more I could say....
I wish everyone a pain free day today!
TLIF L5-S1/failed, Pituatary disorder w/HGH deficiency, Fibro, Failed Bladder Surgery & Nissen, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CFS, TMJ, Migraines, HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia w/Diabetic reaction to HGH, Bi-lateral CTS (surgery related trigger finger), Edema, Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome, Peripheral Neuropathy, Plantar Fascitis, Tibular Tendionitis, Adult Onset Flat Feet, Vision Issues & much more.....