Husband's job loss and dealing with CP

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Monty's Mom
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 1/30/2012 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
My husband lost his job last week. We are waiting to hear back from unemployment to see what help that will be.

In the meantime, my house is full of men all day every day. Even the dogs are men. Ugh. The boys are doing public school online at home, and getting better grades than they ever got in conventional school. My hubby has been extra helpful, doing chores and things on the list of needing repairs. We had to call a plumber for our blocked kitchen sink, which ate into our savings too.

Luckily, with a partial payout of LTD insurance, we have enough to live on for a few months if unemployment is not approved. I don't know how I am going to feed all 3 of them for long with them home all the time. The amount of housework has gone sky high. Hubby does most of it, but the close quarters will get to us all soon. He has had a few interviews, and we are still looking for jobs compulsively.

For now he is volunteering a few days a week at a local ministry that has a warehouse for its food bank, medical needs storage, and a ministry a friend runs that gives household supplies and furniture to people in need. I do their computer work when I can, and now he goes 3 days a week in the morning to help them out until he gets a job. He needs something to feel he has a purpose....and since I struggle with the same things, I was glad to help him on that part. smilewinkgrin

I am torn though, about wanting him to get to work right away. Its hard to keep him from seeing the exhaustion, the constant pain, needing my heating pad for the entire day, and the small amount of work I actually do. Silly of me, I guess.

We are going to the attorney this afternoon to fight the SSDI denial I got last week. It says I can't do my previous job, which was sitting all day answering phones, but there are other jobs that I can handle full time. I would love to know what those jobs are, and how I am supposed to get there to perform them and fit in the breaks, heating pad, rest, and the days I would not be able to come in.

Oh well. what will be will be, no matter how much I worry or stress.

Wishing you all low pain days.

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Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 1/30/2012 3:10 PM (GMT -6)   

I just got done posting on FB about living w/ 7 males each day, lol. Guess we were thinking along the same lines. :)

First, I'm glad to hear the kids are doing so well... do they like it? That being said, yes - there are some HUGE "trade-offs" to having them home.... more people home to mess up the house... the FOOD - don't get me started on that one.... and down the line.

I'm sorry about your husband losing his job... I really, really am. I'm glad to hear that he's doing some volunteering... you are right, having a "purpose" is a very important thing.... I can tell by the things that you guys do, though, that you both have HUGE hearts. Anyway, I hope you hear soon from unemployment.

Re: calling the plumber - oh, that's the same for us, too. I swear, every time we get to where we can breathe (just a little) - "something" happens. A car has problems; something goes wrong in the house; a son falls on his scooter and knocks out his front tooth and we have to pay $1800 for an implant (yes, that happened right around Thanksgiving).... I know this is called "life"... but do you ever feel that life gives you more than enough for one person??

Anyway, I know I'm rambling.... but I mostly wanted you to know I'm thinking of you... and that I care.... Hugs, my friend.


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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 1/30/2012 3:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Awe, so very sorry your Husband lost his job...Just start getting new Resumes
for him printed up...try for jobs might help....Sure hope you fight
the SSDI Denial, but at least your sons are doing better with the home schooling, that
is a big Plus...anyday... Keep us posted, thinking of you and sending many Prayers
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/31/2012 6:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Try not to take the SSDI personally. What you got for a reason for denial is pretty much a "form letter" response. There are those who work for SSA who will rubber stamp denied on every application without ever reading them.

I honestly met someone about a year or two ago who had been in a car accident and was left 98% paralyzed from the neck down and he was denied saying he could return to work as a taxi driver.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16792
   Posted 1/31/2012 6:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Jim is so right, do not take the denial personal that is just part of the process. I do hope your hubby finds something soon. Like Chart said time to update that resume of his and send them out. Many places now only take applications online which is great, saves the gas money.

Take care.
Moderator-Chronic Pain Forum

Retired Mom
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Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 1/31/2012 8:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with everyone on the SSD. It's a waiting game and they hope you will quit before you "do your time" in the line. Once in a while, there is a person granted on the first try, but it's really unusual. Mine took until the hearing.

Please be sure to seek out any psychological assistance you can in this matter. That seems to make a great difference in the decision making process for SSD. I still see my psych because I needed the help (honestly). I know many others who got their disability and then dropped out of the psych counseling immediately. I personally think that is a very bad mistake, but perhaps they did not really have a need and were just trying to get over and avoid work.

I wish you luck in the process. It takes time, but is a Godsend when it comes through. I'd never be able to survive financially without the SSD I receive and I could certainly not go back to work since I can't even function most of the time in my home....let alone in the working world again. Twenty years of hard work was at least a positive contribution.
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Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1355
   Posted 1/31/2012 9:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mindy,

I am so sorry your husband lost his job, I live with a dreadful feeling that the same will happen to my hubby. Homeschooling your sons must have been a hard choice for you but how rewarding to see them thriving. Great job there mom, my daughter unschools her children and I see them all thriving.

Your SSD sounds like our CPP Disability they certainly do not make it easy to apply and get approved. I've been playing their game for a couple of years and have another "hearing" in June. Good Luck with yours.

Take care of yourself and just a hint I also live with 3 men and I find the fastest way to get them out from underfoot is start mentioning chores that need to be done : ) make my 3 disappear every time.
Take care

Insulin Dependant Diabetic, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, IBS, Sleep Apnea, COPD, Spondylolistesis, Diabetic Neuropathy, Fatty Liver, High Cholesterol

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/3/2012 9:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mindy I'm new here and my husband has been off for 2 years!!! YIKES! It's been super hard. I went back to work for 7 weeks after a year rehab from my last spine surgery before my foot dropped again and I was tripping over it. I was taken off work a year ago and am also fighting for my SSD, my hearing is next month. I have a 25 year old that is still home (we're working on getting him out) but having my DH home all day is really difficult. He is actively seeking work and I have no doubt something will come soon, but I totally get you that I enjoy my "heating pad" lazy time and then try to pull myself together by the time he comes home from work. My recommendation is if you have a Y or place with a pool try to get out of the house a few days a week to do some gentle water walking or even use one of the water belts and go in the deep end to try and get some endorphins going (and get away from all the fellas in the house) alot of times the Y will have some free services if you can't afford much and are disabled. I wish you well (oh and see if some of your girlfriends can host you for a girls day/lunch once a month or so) that helps me too. Best wishes
2000 a minor accident that caused a major hern in my C/5C/6. After neck fusion I did well.2005 was rearended the neck fusion was altered I had to undergo another neck surgery and now had a low back surgery too. 3 years of rehab and I finally went back to work. 2009 exiting a store a driver hit me in a pedestrian walkway.Now w/ low back fusion my LB didn't take the fusion. I have a fried spine.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/3/2012 9:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Also LOL @ Rose's mention of the chores, that makes them leave every time HAH!
2000 a minor accident that caused a major hern in my C/5C/6. After neck fusion I did well.2005 was rearended the neck fusion was altered I had to undergo another neck surgery and now had a low back surgery too. 3 years of rehab and I finally went back to work. 2009 exiting a store a driver hit me in a pedestrian walkway.Now w/ low back fusion my LB didn't take the fusion. I have a fried spine.
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