My Feet Hurt> Dadgumit!!

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Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/11/2012 4:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Yep, right along w/ my neck & lower back, both knees & left hip, hands & eyes (think I have another tumer growin on my eye, right where the last two were!), I'm so sick of wearin that dadgum sleep apnea mask every night then ripping it off at least 4~5 times so I can get up to pee (my lasting side affects of prostate cancer surgery!) and trip and fall all over myself cause my feet dont work!! And now have been wearing depends (diapers!) to bed for the last three weeks now cause I'm so sick of peeing myself in the bed once or twice a week and having to get up and change it then wetvac the matress, bleach the bedliner and wash everything else the next morning!!! My hair is falling out at a super excellorated rate cause of my testosterone shots every three weeks which also causes my manhood to shrink to pre-adolecent sizes to which I'm suposed to use this $600. electric pumping device daily the insurance co. bought me and take everyday Cealis (which I can't aford!) to help it from disapearing completely!!! Can't help Willy's two friends (Lester & Hank) tho, they are permently shrunk (I don't mind that part so much cause they have done their job> (Two wonderful sons) and now they don't get in the way like they used too!!! I don't sit on them anymore getting in my little car!!!) Jeeze> I'm a fracking Mess!
My Lovely Spousal Unit is over in Jacksonville w/ Son #2 helping him w/ his new apt. like I did last Monday~Weds. I'm home alone w/ the pets oh and Mom next door! I made a Big Pot of Chilly cause its gonna be in the 20's tonight (a Fla. Chilly & red wine night!) and invited Mom over! She can check out Facebook after dinner and check on all her Kids & Fams! She refuses to own such things!
Well, I gotta hobble down and feed the horses now! I'm sorry for whining in such a descriptive mannor but thats life in Peteworld!! I'm also sorry I haven't been around much like I used to trying to consol and help Y'all> I'm a bad man! I can't evan say I'll try harder cause I don't want to lie! I mean I want to but I get in these deep> dark> dank>funks and don't feel much like writing like I used too! I also have so much to do around here before it gets hot again> Which ain't gonna happen either! I do really love Yuze Gize> You know who you are!! and miss writing to you!
Well I really gottago> stir the chilly> I just smelled it>MMMMMMM! and feed the poneys>
Big Fat Guy (Yes I'm very big again! 285~290ish!GRRRRR!) Hugs to all!!
Bang Zoom Gone> Woosh!!> I'm purdy wooshish for my size!!
Pete

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/11/2012 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Well so sorry I was in such a rotten mood before! 7 reads and not one post? Are you speechless or flabergasted? You know it wasn't an easy thing bein a man and tellin Y'all what I did!! I hope at least my old Pal Mikey will read it and get a laugh evan tho it's ain't funny! Oh I forgot, Mikey is in worse shape than I am! Thats one thing I always > always try to remember> No matter how much you hurt, cry and feel sorry for yourself>> There's always someone right around the corner 10 times worse off than you are!!!! Sorry Mike!! Ain't life Grand???
Censor me Mikey, I'm getting worse!!!

Post Edited (Pete trips again!) : 2/11/2012 6:08:37 PM (GMT-7)


grandmaroses
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1355
   Posted 2/11/2012 9:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Pete, sorry you are having so many issues. When I read your post I was flabergasted with your honesty and frustration, I don't know what to say. Now being a woman I don't know much about your plumbing and I will not embarrass myself by asking any stupid questions hell it took me 3 reads to figure out who Lester and Hank were. I hope you are feeling a bit better.
Take care
Rose



Insulin Dependant Diabetic, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, IBS, Sleep Apnea, COPD, Spondylolistesis, Diabetic Neuropathy, Fatty Liver, High Cholesterol

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/11/2012 10:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Rose, Thank You so much for responding to my mess of a life! I was beginning to think no one would! I did write more but took it out w/ an edit as after I though about what I had written. it was most likely out of line. Some probably read it and thought I am a real looser and didn't respond!
Like I wrote, I used to be a regular here and knew most everyone back then. There are only a few left who were here when I started and there are so many newer peeps I don't know. I can't evan say how much this forum as well as the prostate cancer site have helped me over the years. I feel so guilty for not posting like I used to! As you can see, here I am when I'm having a cry baby attack w/ more wine than the Gallo Bro's!! I get this way every so often, I guess most CP'ers do especially w/ a long history of depression and inferiority like me! I think you can probably guess why I feel inferior. Added to the rest of my problems, my wife and I have not been at our "Lovey~Doviest" for a while doesn't help matters! She hasn't let me have sexual contact of any kind in almost a year!! She says it's medapause and I believe her to a point because I had undiognosed low testosterone or Hypogonadizm for almost 3 years after my cancer surgery when I didn't have any desire for sex at all!!! When a dr. finally found out what was wrong w/ me he called it "Manapause" cause the symptoms were very much like the female version> Horrable hot flashes!!! The worst depression, unbelievably tired all the time, breast growth, srinkage> down there and iratability & mental changes!! The scarriest were constant suisidal thought> w/o my Sons & wife, I know for a fact I wouldn't be alive today!!!!!
So thanks again Rose and please feel free to ask me anything!!! My friends here will tell you I don't have a shy or embarrased bone in my body!!! I don't have very many I didn't break when I was younger either! Thats part of the reason I'm here! A true CP'er Delux!!!
One thing I'm sorry for is my spelling! I am notoriously bad, maybe the worse one here!!! Thats the least of my worries tho!
Your Buddy>
Pete

grandmaroses
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1355
   Posted 2/11/2012 10:55 PM (GMT -6)   
No worries on my end Pete I am in the same phase of life as your adoring wife. I have read a couple of your older posts so a little familiar with your spelling. There is a party at Sherrine's in the FM room so a few of the older members are there. Again I do feel bad that you are having issues this evening. I come here more as my pain increases, I keep thinking I want to stop all my meds but in reality I know I could not handle the pain without some help.
Anyway try to have a better night and I will stop boring you.
Take care
Rose



Insulin Dependant Diabetic, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, IBS, Sleep Apnea, COPD, Spondylolistesis, Diabetic Neuropathy, Fatty Liver, High Cholesterol

Blessedx8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 2/11/2012 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey, Pete...

I'm so sorry you are going through so much right now... it seems many of us are in the same boat. I don't know what the heck is going on w/ everyone! Mikey's out of commission right now.... you are in a bad place....and, my life -well, I probably could make you feel a whole lot better if I told you everything going on right now, lol.

You are a wonderful, loving, funny as heck, non-loser (do NOT say that - and nobody here thinks that, I promise you). You have a lovely wife and two incredibly gorgeous sons, who are doing great things w/ their lives. I know you've played a HUGE part in who they've turned out to be! ~ You have supported MANY a person here...including me.... Let us do the same for you. I'm glad you posted. And, even though I love laughing w/ you, I know sometimes the humor covers up some of the other stuff going on. I do the same thing in my own life... I laugh at things, when really I want to cry.... It's just easier that way, sometimes. It's easier than facing all the junk really going on.

I have low testosterone, too - and I know what a nightmare it makes me as a woman... so I can only imagine the symptoms you had/have... or what Lisa is going through, with her issues. It's definitely tough on a marriage, Pete.

Re: the depression - well, needless to say - you know I understand that. Do you think you need a med change or dosage change? I'm exploring that option for myself - so it's on the brain.

Anyway, hang in there w/ everything... and know you are VERY loved by your family here. I'll check in w/ you more later.... I hope you get some sleep tonight and feel better, my friend! Love, Tina

Post Edited (Momto8kids) : 2/11/2012 9:09:28 PM (GMT-7)


Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/12/2012 7:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Pete!  It's good to hear from you!
 
I can always depend on you to give the honest version and I get a real laugh out of it.  I must have missed your post yesterday (or was already crashed from my melotonin experiment).  Anyway, you started your post about your feet, but I didn't see anything in it about your feet (well, too much anyway).  I know the feet thing well and I hate it!
 
On the other side of things, I think many of us ladies reach a point where we are less interested :)  If you want some real woman advice, I can tell you that "most" women would be more inclined to participate if their man would clean themselves up, give them (the woman) some "soft" verbal clues to an event for the evening, have a nice meal planned (Chili works) and then takes the time to clean up and relax while snuggling and watching a nice movie that has a little romance, but not anything too adult.  I mention this because men are so visual and women need more "warming up" to be interested in a more mental way.
 
It's a problem for CP patients in general, I think because we need our minds to be interested and "as my dr says", the human body responds to pain in a negative way.  He also told me that it was impossible to be more "interested" if you know it is going to hurt.  Then pain meds dull sensation so that is another problem.
 
Lastly, on that issue...my very best friend's husband has many of the same problems you have and she is afraid to begin to be "involved" with him because he has difficulty and she doesn't know how to handle what goes on (or doesn't).  Perhaps talking to your wife in a neutral situation and telling her everything about how you feel and how you don't feel is exactly what you need to do. 
 
I hope you have an easier time soon Pete.  We miss you here!

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/12/2012 11:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh Thank you soooo much for your help R/T,Miss Rose and Miss Tina!!! You Gals are so smart and have such wonderful ideas for me! I'm a little better today mentally but can hardly walk in the cold here> "Body responding in a negative way"!!!! I still haven't gone down to feed the horses yet and I'm dredding it! My wife called this a.m. around 8ish and said they ahdn't got outa bed yet! The did an awful lot yesterday, shopping and setting up Pete Jr's new apt. She said she'd be leaving around noon but I highly doubt it!
Took my meds this a.m. and they didn't help at all! I hate it when I'm like this> can't walk! I so want to get feeling just a little better so I can go fishin again when it warms up! Maybe the noon meds will help??
Well I'm gonna bundle up and head down to feed the Mookies! I went outside w/ Rose (had to put her sweater on!) to have a smoke before and that north wind was a killer! It was in the 20's here this a.m. I know thats not much to lots of you but when you are used to 80's> it's a big deal!!!
Thanks agin to my Angels for helping me out of the pit I was in!!! I'm still climbing but I think I see the top edge!! Maybe I can make it w/o falling back down in it again this time!! Mostly will depend on what kind of mood my wife is in when she gets home?? I love her sooooo much!!! I only wish & pray she could return the love I have for her!!! Espesially a couple days after my testosterone shot when I get sooooo horny> it's like a curse> like the wolfman who has to get chained to a chair every full moon! Only difference is the W.M. wants to kill and all I want is a little lovin!!! I know I don't have the equiptment I used to have but I would do anything to just be w/ her again!! If she would let me, I'd be on her like a Hoover vacume w/ all the attachments!  Had my shot about a week ago!
OK> Really gotta go feed those Mookers now, that dadgum dusty hay is gonna fly all over me & in my eyes evan w/ sunglasses on when I put it out in the pasture! Don't want to feed them in the stalls cause they will poop all over their new bedding Lisa put in there last week!!!
So BadaBoom>Zin> Gottago>
Love All Y"all>
Petie the poop picker upper!

sos007
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 2/12/2012 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Pete....I have only been on this forum since Nov/11, but reading your posts have made me laugh and cry. I understand fully about how you do not feel like the man you used to be.....I also do not feel like the woman I used to be and still mourn the loss of her at times. This CP has to be some kind of test for us I am sure....not sure what this ****** test is suppose to be but I sure hope there is some reward for all this suffering. It does suck!!!!

Don't think you are a loser...far from it....you are just frustrated and that is understandable, we all have days like that.
As far as your wife and your sex life....I also am going through menopause and have nil for sexual desire...I spoke with my doc about this and she said it is normal for women going through menopause to lose sexual desire...so try not to take it personally.

I look forward to getting to know you better...you sound like a wonderful person with a great sense of humor...I hope you get some relief soon....Take care

All the best, Amy smurf smurf smurf

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/12/2012 4:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Amy! Sounds like we are in the same boat and you are so right about there being some kind of reason we suffer so much! If I was a Hindo, I guess I would believe I was a very bad person in another life to suffer like I do. If there is a hell, maybe we are in it? It just seems like it's one thing after another or should I say a list of really bad things only sorted by the amount of pain each one gives us? I duno but being here lets me know I'm not alone! My poor friend Suzane suffers so w/ headaches and no one cane figure out why! Thats a horrable way to live, always trying to figure out why you suffer and no one, not evan the experts can tell you why? Then you get these looks like your just faking or your giving yourself sycosamatic ppain that isn't real!! I went through that for 3 years when I had low testosterone! They sent me to a shrink who almost committed me for suisidal thoughts! GRRRR Said I was seriously depressed> No Shatski!!!!
Anyway, thans so much for your post!!! Yes, I'd love to be friends w/ you!!!
Big Hugs> Pete
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!

tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 2/12/2012 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
My dearest sweet petey, how i miss you hon. I just read all your posts and i am in tears. My heart breaks for you. You are such a wonderful man, inside and outside. To me you are a big snuggley bear. I want one of your bear hugs now. How I wish i could have gone out to see you this winter. I am gonna do my bestest to make it out there next winter. I have already told Red I am going out there, no questions, shut the door and i am there.
I hate to hear that you struggle so much. But look at the horses you look after and your buddy Rose. I can't wait to see the horsies again. I am gonna spend more time with those horses. I can see myself talking to them all the time and them making me smile. I pray that you will be able to go fishing soon cause i know that is your happy place. That and being with your boys. I hope you will be blessed with a grandchild in the future cause you will live those days all over again when you have one.
I am sure your mom is keeping you company too. How special that is to have her with you every winter. I remember when my mom and dad lived five houses down from me, oh those were such special years. My kids were spoiled rotten and developed such loving relationships with their grandparents. My dad is now passed but my mom is still here and lives one hour from me. I love her to pieces and she really keeps me going. I really don't know what i'll do when she is gone. So love your mom to pieces while you have her. I really enjoyed meeting her last year, such a lovely lady.
I am so sorry that things are not as you would like them to be with Lisa. I know how much you love her hon. I hope you can at least enjoy some kisses with her. Could some couples sexual counselling help you both or is she not interested in doing that? I hope she tells you she loves you. I am sure she is going thru menopause at this time as well and she probably even questions herself in regards to not being there with you totally in body and in mind. I know there has to be a lot on her mind as well regarding her job. What's the lastest there?
Just know that i love you lots and i am here for you sweetie. Perhaps it's time for me to put another care pkg together for you eh to cheer you up. If you want me to call you then just let me know hon and i'll ring you up.
Thanks for your horsin around video today. It's makes me feel so good to hear your voice, see you and rosie and the horsies.

Love you tons,
Suzane

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 2/12/2012 10:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Awe Pete, so very sorry I missed your posts, I dragged my hubby to the Houston Train show yesterday,
yeah I'm a gal that loves those old steam engines, at heart, and well that whipped me out, so that I'm
still getting together yet...so sorry..the mtx (methotrexate is making my hair fall out, even though I'm
supplementing with folic acid....) ain't life grand...well I bought the Lionel (O scale) Great
Train Robbery Trainset a few years ago and looking to sell it as I got the Lionel (O Scale) Coca Cola
trainset this year which looks prettier around the Christmas Tree, and I'm looking for the Bachmann
"Spirit of Christmas" trainset to go around my small Hallmark tree (it's an N Scale). I won my daughter the
Harry Potter Lionel Trainset years ago and I'm saving it for her, so That's about all for me, except next week is
a bigger train show in Stafford TX, about 45 minutes away from me and I hope I can get to that and get a good
price on my Lionel....I'm cutting things down around here...now just have to cut back on my needlework....
Hope this cheer's ya up...reading about me and my train troubles....eh....My sets are steam engines as I
really don't like the dieseal's (SP?) and I only run with DC power not DCC...I don't have any fancy boards made
up yet, I hope hubby will in a few years help me deck my trains out...oh the Coca Cola one is nice and
runs great, I'll need to oil the tracks soon...no worries....
Sorry, I didn't know what advise to give you, I'm not so great with that...only maybe marriage counseling
for you and your wife...it's cold here in Texas today and we have sleet tonight....and it's got my hands so very sore...
Hope your doing better soon...sorry I'm late to posts to you...ya know somethings amiss when I miss your posts...eh...
Well wishes and Prayers
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/14/2012 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh My Goodness!!! My two bestest Angels! Chart & Suz, sorry it took me a day to get back to you and thank you for your support and kind words as always! Yep I ams feelin better than when I started this post, mentally that is! My stankin feetz are still killin me! My apt. w/ my primary is tomorrow so maybe I can get a referal to a footzy doc!
Chart> Thats soooo cool that you like model trains!! We had a really cool Lionel set when we were kids that a millionair Mafia friend of my Dad's (No kidding> really!) gave my brother and I. Of course like everything in an Itallian Family> The oldest son gets everything so my older brother got them> no questions asked!! I still have a Lionel set I gave the Boys for Christmas years ago but it's all in a box somewhere like at least 75% of our stuff since we moved to the country into this little place! I would love to get involved in something like that and think I could be good at it (I love to tinker & build stuff!) but we don't have the space or $$$!! I'm so glad you have such a cool hobby to help take your mind off the> GRRRRR Pain!!
Suz, it's always great hearing from you!! You always bring a smile to my face!! Glad you liked the video, I knew you would "get it" as it was kinda borring and long to watch! All about the animals or I should say> the rest of the family!! I've been watching your posts on Facebook about looking for a doc for your headaches. I pray every day that you will find someone who can figure it out and help you!!! Of all my CP friends, I think what you have is the worst! I can't imagin what it must be like to have a sceaming head ache all the time!!! To me my foot hurts> (bfd!) and my lower back is worse than the foot and when my neck was at its worst> (pre & post surgery), it took the cake but a head? Everyone knows a pain in the head is by far the worst thing of all!!! I'm including eyes in w/ the head cause remember Ski w/ her eye problems? Does she still post anymore? That poor babygirl had such a hard time!!! Let me know about how she's doing if you know??? So Suz, I duno how you keep upbeat and are able to write to us, but I'm so glad you do!!!
Well I gotz to gitz goin here!!! I love Yuze Gize mucho!!! Thanks again for writing to me!!
Petie-pie!!
PS> I put a vallentine card on Lisa's desk this a.m. and she just came out and gave me a kiss and told me she loves me!! Then handed me a V-card that stated the same!!! Yipeee!!!   

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 2/14/2012 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Happy Valentines Day, hope it's a great day for you and your wife.
My Power supply on my computer died (psu), and I'm typing from my
nook tablet. I hope to be back up on Friday. Got a new psu, coming from newegg
So, I hope to be back on Friday. Keep us posted on how things go at you doctor's.
Hope you get the referral for the podiatrists (foot doc)? Many well wishes, sorry this is
just to hard to type on a nook keyboard, dagnab it...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******
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