I got your e-mail and just read your post here... Thanks so much for checking in - as we've been thinking of you. I love the name you chose, by the way.
I know how hard it is, Flower - especially as a first time mom, who has pain issues. You've also been through a lot... you've just been through 10 months of carrying a LIFE inside of you... followed by a c-section. People underestimate that a c-section is MAJOR surgery.
You now have a beautiful baby... but you are also dealing with sleep deprivation, back issues, lifting/taking care of a baby and on down the line. I remember when I had Josh (my 1st) - and I felt so isolated... and everything so overwhelmed, and like I was the only one going through all of it. Think about it - you just gave birth to a LIFE! That's a major accomplishment... but it also does things to our body and minds - far more than what we think.
How long ago did you have the c-section? Recovery from it, Flower, can take much longer than the "6 weeks" that they tell you it takes. Especially w/ pain issues. I'll write more about the epidural issues on the other thread.
You asked how I do it.... this is the "toughest" job you'll have have, Rachel. It's the most rewarding job, too.... But there are going to be many days where you are going to want to pull your hair out - either due to the pain; exhaustion; etc. That being said, from our many conversations - you are a very strong woman - and I know you can do this.
I can't remember if you suffer from depression (along w/ your CP)... but, if you do, please know that your chances of post-partum depression go up a lot.... Especially with all the new hormones, etc. floating around your body. Just wanted to mention that because I had PPD with my 1st, but didn't know what it was - so I delayed getting treatment.... I'd never do that one again!
Wishing you all the best, hon. PLEASE, please know you can post here or e-mail me with absolutely ANY question. I am willing to help you with whatever I can. Hang in there and please check in when you can. Love, Tina